Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
I'm going to start buying lottery tickets!
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Location: Back home now in my home town in England U.K. after 36 years in U.S. now retired and loving it,
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Sounds great to me John, i will email you!!! and looking forward to seeing you both again,
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Argh I wrote a long reply to FnC and it vanished into the ether... Argh!
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Many of us wish we could turn the clock back, some on this forum would love to be in your shoes, going back to live in December, some of us have made those plans, circumstances do change and have made it impossible for some.
Regrets we all have them, Most are Bigger regrets than yours, but that's life, you've only given up a year of your life, for many of us its been 20, 30 years or more, as an example I never wanted to come here, but I was a teenager with no choice, all I can do is make the best of it and live with the hope I will return to the UK one day, I think about going home every hour of every day, I'm not joking, its all I think about.
Oh that's sad..whereabouts are you? Do you really miss home that much from a teenager. I guess we think kids will adapt and fit in..
When you are in a place you don't like every week will seem long, at least there is a light at the end of your tunnel, sooner than waste the rest of your time here try to turn this negative into a positive, try to help others, when you get back you might regret not spending your time here more wisely, try to think out of the box instead of being miserable.
I will....already feeling brighter..
"We have the chance to make everything up" I say Lucky you, I imagine you are talking about money, that's what most people think is most important.
I don't money is that important, but we did leave a financially comfortable situation (sold cars/house) and will now find ourselves in a very stretched position. We bought a house in what I now know was some sort of honeymoon period. I thought it would help me have a "home" or at least force me into staying. I have really tried to fit here- make this my home for my husband. We've made friends here, but I just don't want to stay.
Were you pushed into leaving the UK and made to feel guilty if you didn't play along?.
No, I wasn't, although my husband was very stressed by work and I know I'm taking him back to that but it can't be helped unfortunately.
Can I ask what made you want to live here, how long did you investigate and what was the biggest attraction, did you really want to come or was you pushed?.
A lot of it was due to work pressures at home, the weather, the chance to try and live somewhere new. We started this process off two years ago, had been out for a visit, but somewhere along the process had realised I didn't want to come but felt committed and that "you'll regret it if you don't" attitude we had from a lot of people.
Other than the loneliness What do you dislike the most about your new home?.
I can't work as a nurse here and there are buggar all other jobs about. I feel useless and redundant here. My son hasn't settled here, we've made friends here, but he just doesn't seem to gel with his classmates....he was a popular lad back home and had a couple of really close friends who've kept in touch with him, so I don't think it's him, it's maybe just a cultural thing. On a general note, it's very small town, very insular. I don't feel like I know much about the world anymore.
When you arrive back in Swansea some people may judge you, don't let that bother you for a minute, many people think its great here but they've never actually emigrated, until they do they really havent a clue.
I won't....I'll be so glad to be home
Have you bought airline tickets for the return trip?
No, not yet. It's on my to do list...just trying to work out the best date. Two weeks before Christmas is tricky although we have various friends we can go to.
Take Care.
Regrets we all have them, Most are Bigger regrets than yours, but that's life, you've only given up a year of your life, for many of us its been 20, 30 years or more, as an example I never wanted to come here, but I was a teenager with no choice, all I can do is make the best of it and live with the hope I will return to the UK one day, I think about going home every hour of every day, I'm not joking, its all I think about.
Oh that's sad..whereabouts are you? Do you really miss home that much from a teenager. I guess we think kids will adapt and fit in..
When you are in a place you don't like every week will seem long, at least there is a light at the end of your tunnel, sooner than waste the rest of your time here try to turn this negative into a positive, try to help others, when you get back you might regret not spending your time here more wisely, try to think out of the box instead of being miserable.
I will....already feeling brighter..
"We have the chance to make everything up" I say Lucky you, I imagine you are talking about money, that's what most people think is most important.
I don't money is that important, but we did leave a financially comfortable situation (sold cars/house) and will now find ourselves in a very stretched position. We bought a house in what I now know was some sort of honeymoon period. I thought it would help me have a "home" or at least force me into staying. I have really tried to fit here- make this my home for my husband. We've made friends here, but I just don't want to stay.
Were you pushed into leaving the UK and made to feel guilty if you didn't play along?.
No, I wasn't, although my husband was very stressed by work and I know I'm taking him back to that but it can't be helped unfortunately.
Can I ask what made you want to live here, how long did you investigate and what was the biggest attraction, did you really want to come or was you pushed?.
A lot of it was due to work pressures at home, the weather, the chance to try and live somewhere new. We started this process off two years ago, had been out for a visit, but somewhere along the process had realised I didn't want to come but felt committed and that "you'll regret it if you don't" attitude we had from a lot of people.
Other than the loneliness What do you dislike the most about your new home?.
I can't work as a nurse here and there are buggar all other jobs about. I feel useless and redundant here. My son hasn't settled here, we've made friends here, but he just doesn't seem to gel with his classmates....he was a popular lad back home and had a couple of really close friends who've kept in touch with him, so I don't think it's him, it's maybe just a cultural thing. On a general note, it's very small town, very insular. I don't feel like I know much about the world anymore.
When you arrive back in Swansea some people may judge you, don't let that bother you for a minute, many people think its great here but they've never actually emigrated, until they do they really havent a clue.
I won't....I'll be so glad to be home
Have you bought airline tickets for the return trip?
No, not yet. It's on my to do list...just trying to work out the best date. Two weeks before Christmas is tricky although we have various friends we can go to.
Take Care.
Last edited by Tirytory; Aug 24th 2014 at 5:22 pm.
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
I do feel more positive today. Started thinking about ways we can make the house work for us over here. We live in summer vacation land so we can maybe let it as a summer rental and rent it in the winter for skiing... Maybe, or just long term rent if we can't sell. We can afford (just about) to buy back home without selling it as long as can cover the rent which leaves us in a fortunate position.
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
There would have to be some profit though...there might be a loss. Anyhow any link to that?
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
No sorry...that's why I didn't say it as a positive statement. It's just what I've read returning expats from Canada post on here. That's the reason sometimes one of them stays behind to sell the house...while the other moves back to the UK.
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Hi Fish, thats interesting what you said here, about every tom dick and harry trying to ----- I have found since I have been back home in UK that in that respect its absolutely no different here, the scams are immense here, whether it be nuisance phone calls from bogus companies trying to get the money from your wallet to theres, or newspaper ads or TV and cold callers, on line, ---- etc etc, you cant
make a turn without someone over here trying to con you in some way,
I can see that the U.S. has been a very big influence over the decades since I have been away, you see it in every aspect, every day, the UK banks have learned how to truly screw everyone they can, the utility companies ---- all of them have for many years developed the american corporate greed affect, and how to be really dishonest and darn right ruthless in 10 easy lessons, the railway companies have just raised the train fares again by 4 to 6% this year they did the same last year and the year before, people are paying between
£5,000 to £7,500 per year for there annual rail ticket just to get them to work even if they only live somewhere in the south of England and there work is in London, a lot of people prefer working in the big city cause there salaries are higher, ---- well all I can say is they must be pretty darn high to be able to afford those high train prices just to get to work!!!!
American Capitalism or British Capitalism---- Hmmm hard to tell the difference these days ----- just saying!!!!
make a turn without someone over here trying to con you in some way,
I can see that the U.S. has been a very big influence over the decades since I have been away, you see it in every aspect, every day, the UK banks have learned how to truly screw everyone they can, the utility companies ---- all of them have for many years developed the american corporate greed affect, and how to be really dishonest and darn right ruthless in 10 easy lessons, the railway companies have just raised the train fares again by 4 to 6% this year they did the same last year and the year before, people are paying between
£5,000 to £7,500 per year for there annual rail ticket just to get them to work even if they only live somewhere in the south of England and there work is in London, a lot of people prefer working in the big city cause there salaries are higher, ---- well all I can say is they must be pretty darn high to be able to afford those high train prices just to get to work!!!!
American Capitalism or British Capitalism---- Hmmm hard to tell the difference these days ----- just saying!!!!
Dont worry about those train fares too much, Im sure those travelling to London to work have it all figured out, 4-6% isnt that bad although I know you hate it.
I get peeved about travel costs and how things are over here, I drive a van that gets 17mpg and relatives in the UK have Vans of same size getting well over 30 mpg, it makes no sense for us to be so wastful but thats America for you, I just wish the makers here would wake up.
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
I try to remember to do that...but I usually forget.
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Someone has just sent me a private message which has made me contemplate how trivial my concerns about money are. It's only this morning with some positive mental attitude that I figured out that instead of cars we could scrape money together for a deposit and then subsequently realised how lucky that actually makes us. We can go home, we can own a home - maybe not a car though although will live within walking distance everywhere- we can go back to our friends and loved ones- and that makes us immeasurably lucky.....
I'm going to quit moaning....and hopefully chalk this up as a positive experience. Many thanks for those that have commented including my messages. Sometimes a little support is all you need!
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Ah thanks anyhow... My husband gets taxed to death in the UK anyhow...I still don't care. It's still worth it!
Someone has just sent me a private message which has made me contemplate how trivial my concerns about money are. It's only this morning with some positive mental attitude that I figured out that instead of cars we could scrape money together for a deposit and then subsequently realised how lucky that actually makes us. We can go home, we can own a home - maybe not a car though although will live within walking distance everywhere- we can go back to our friends and loved ones- and that makes us immeasurably lucky.....
I'm going to quit moaning....and hopefully chalk this up as a positive experience. Many thanks for those that have commented including my messages. Sometimes a little support is all you need!
Someone has just sent me a private message which has made me contemplate how trivial my concerns about money are. It's only this morning with some positive mental attitude that I figured out that instead of cars we could scrape money together for a deposit and then subsequently realised how lucky that actually makes us. We can go home, we can own a home - maybe not a car though although will live within walking distance everywhere- we can go back to our friends and loved ones- and that makes us immeasurably lucky.....
I'm going to quit moaning....and hopefully chalk this up as a positive experience. Many thanks for those that have commented including my messages. Sometimes a little support is all you need!
The main thing is that you are all healthy and that you have all agreed to move back home. All too often we hear about people who want to return to the UK but the spouse doesn't and will not agree to the children moving back. That's a scenario that many don't consider when they are thinking about leaving the UK.
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Hey I moan...although I realise I am very lucky. It's only natural to moan...especially if you are British.
The main thing is that you are all healthy and that you have all agreed to move back home. All too often we hear about people who want to return to the UK but the spouse doesn't and will not agree to the children moving back. That's a scenario that many don't consider when they are thinking about leaving the UK.
The main thing is that you are all healthy and that you have all agreed to move back home. All too often we hear about people who want to return to the UK but the spouse doesn't and will not agree to the children moving back. That's a scenario that many don't consider when they are thinking about leaving the UK.
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Tirytory....I think you are making a very wise decision to go home now. Sometimes it doesn't matter how long you stay the feeling of homesickness and not belonging never goes away. It is more difficult to make that move if you are married to a resident of the country you have moved to, they are very happy to be home and not likely to want to return to a country they were not happy in, so
those people have an uphill battle than many times never gets resolved. You end up waiting and waiting for the right opportunity and it never comes, some are lucky as they don't have children to consider but for those who do it's a very difficult situation even if they are fortunate enough to go home they are then split in two never complete the very thing they desired all those years of having family around them is out of reach because they left behind family, so just enjoy the few months you have left in Canada and look forward to returning home.
those people have an uphill battle than many times never gets resolved. You end up waiting and waiting for the right opportunity and it never comes, some are lucky as they don't have children to consider but for those who do it's a very difficult situation even if they are fortunate enough to go home they are then split in two never complete the very thing they desired all those years of having family around them is out of reach because they left behind family, so just enjoy the few months you have left in Canada and look forward to returning home.
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Hope all is well with the rest of you, I have been away for a while I am afraid I had a bad reaction to the cataract op on my left eye. I am now blind in it, the specialist said that this has only happened to him once in his 25 years. I have edema in it that will not go away. I have to wait 2 months put drops in4 times a day and cross my fingers that it works because if it doesn't the alternative is corneal transplant.
I really cannot understand why these things happen to me must be something to do with being conceived during the war. Mother must not have drunk enough milk or my Dad working at the ammunition factory had something to do with it
I really cannot understand why these things happen to me must be something to do with being conceived during the war. Mother must not have drunk enough milk or my Dad working at the ammunition factory had something to do with it