Originally Posted by trottytrue (Post 10815584)

This is part of an email I received from my friend who returned to the UK two years ago. This is what I would love to be doing........:)
.................................................. .................................................. .......

The village fete went off very well and amazingly we raised about £1100 for the village hall fund. Lots of English things like Guess the weight of the Cake, Lucky Dip, Bric-a-brac, Animals made out of Vegetables (judged by the vicar), crafts in the church, cake competition etc. My Victoria sandwich didn’t come anywhere!!

Originally Posted by islandwoman120 (Post 10815474)

New topic: and not everyone can relate but if you do, I would be interested in hearing your comments. This is a precised version of the last 9 weeks:

A few months ago I met an British man who is married to an American woman from the big city NY. We made friends and she was a breath of fresh air. But whilst they were away in the US for 7 weeks there was an accident at their flat and I was asked to intervene on their behalf which I gladly did. To say it was chaos was a understatement. But the fact is that the man did not want his wife to know about the situation over here, which made life very difficult for me as she was emailing about regular things and he was emailing and phoning on the accident front. He said he did not want to worry her by telling her. I say she has a temper and a terse attitude and he wanted a peaceful life at his end for as long as possible. I took him to task on that many times, and just before they left to return home, he told her - and only because I impressed on him that the flat was still in a mess and she needed to know before coming home. Then I got very annoyed at the fact that he was protecting her from the realities of life and we argued about that, and still are doing so. I decided to not continue the friendship as I have enough going on to not have another problem to deal with, and he is very annoyed with me as I say: no couples for friends, singles only. When you are upset with one half of the couple, that causes ill feeling all round and believe me, I have had enough ill feeling to last me a lifetime. He won't give up and is still emailing me, now adding that I am childish. I agreed to that to shut him up - he will no doubt have the last word and I will put it into the spam filter soon. No wonder people 'keep themselves to themselves' - I answered my previous posting!

In a nutshell: do singles think the same as I do - having couples for friends can be a problem if you don't get on with one of the couple. And am I totally wrong for ending a friendship which had just started and which is materially unbalanced - I am on the non-material end, they are just the opposite. As it stands there is no going back now that he has done his protective husband bit - I think even less of a woman who can't stand on her own and lets a man do her defending - it's not exactly war time. Or maybe it is. She hates it here in the UK, is only here because of him - I told him to take her home to the US.

Originally Posted by trottytrue (Post 10815576)

Talking about friendship and how they work or not....Today I went out for lunch with two ladies I met last year at the hospital. They are very nice but I found myself bored and not interested in what they were talking about. It made me remember back to other times I have tried to make friends, it never really clicks something is missing. Then I realised what it is. When I talk to my friends in England we have so much history together whether its childhood, work related or family. We have a great deal in common we can chat for hours but thats whats lacking with these new friends we lack that link. We dont think the same way. They have very different views on the UK and I could spend hours putting them right but find I cannot be bothered.

I am sure to a certain extent its the same for those of you returning to the UK finding new friends can be hard but at least you do have something in common. Here I find I am swimming upstream most of the time.
Dunroving mentioned how when he lived in the US he was drawn to people from the UK. I think its because we feel at ease. I do find that when I meet someone from the UK I feel a desire to not let go of them or in supermarket you hear someone talking English and I have an urge to rush up and hug them. Course my English reserve doesnt let me:)..... Dunroving might find some people with his interests in another part of the UK I would not recomend him moving back to the US.

I have also met many Ex-Pat who would never return to the UK nor do they have nice things to say about it.

When my friend left to move back to the UK I missed her terribly because we have the same sense of humour and laugh about the same things. I can tell a silly English joke here and it will fall flat. I end up laughing at my own jokes.

Originally Posted by islandwoman120 (Post 10816249)

Interesting comments from all - and thanks for agreeing that I should not have been put in the middle of a couple. The end came - at least I hope it is the end! - last night about midnight when I received two emails, one from each person. Now I am properly put in my place and my Christmas card list is lighter.

I am going to enter into a hermit like existence and see how that works out for me. I live in a beautiful place that I can afford, have birds to feed and plants to tend, and my cat for company. And my camera to capture whatever I wish to be captured.

Thanks again. :)

Originally Posted by islandwoman120 (Post 10816249)

Interesting comments from all - and thanks for agreeing that I should not have been put in the middle of a couple. The end came - at least I hope it is the end! - last night about midnight when I received two emails, one from each person. Now I am properly put in my place and my Christmas card list is lighter.

I am going to enter into a hermit like existence and see how that works out for me. I live in a beautiful place that I can afford, have birds to feed and plants to tend, and my cat for company. And my camera to capture whatever I wish to be captured.

Thanks again. :)

Originally Posted by aries (Post 10816463)

I knew someone in Melbourne who became a hermit, but she has a serious problem being with people. Her life exists with a cat in her flat, plus her computer, she's a geek. Some years ago I bought her a camera to encourage her to get out, but it had become a very real problem for her to go outside. She orders food on the internet and phones for home delivered pizzas etc, and ended up seldom doing any cleaning. Even her mother wouldn't use the bathroom!! :thumbdown:

Originally Posted by curleytops (Post 10816497)

Sorry to hear they've caused you so much grief. FWIW they sound like a pair of right plonkers looking for a kind-hearted scapegoat to take the fall for whatever's wrong between themselves - you're well rid. I see a lovely gentle soul here who in time will have a nice circle of new friends she can enjoy being with and who in turn enjoy her company because of the person she is. Have faith :starsmile:

Originally Posted by islandwoman120 (Post 10816711)

Yes, I think you hit the nail on the head - I ended up phoning a friend last night and she immediately came to the conclusion that I was the scapegoat for other issues in their lives - and I took the time today to re-read a mass of emails from both of them and think I found the problems. But I am laying low today - emotions drain me. I am well rid, though the kind part of me is sad... this too shall pass.:)

Originally Posted by aries (Post 10814861)

Thus we never know how a situation will unfold until we step in and find out.

Originally Posted by cheers (Post 10818667)

Mommy I see you are moving to Wales. May I ask where in Wales?

Don, I hope you had a nice birthday:)

Some of you may have missed on another thread that Elizabeth is back in England.

Also on another thread Charleygirl loves living in England more and more but she is struggling being separated from her children.

Cheers

Originally Posted by cheers (Post 10818730)

I've been home a week and I'm having nightmares about our experience passing through Heathrow. I think the correct name should be London Chaotic Airport (LCA).

As I have mentioned I went a little bezirk to the point of shouting out loud in the security area of the terminal. I can't remember doing that before and I think it was due to a combination of lack of sleep and frustration.

A little part of the frustration was because I have, to my recollection, never been searched arriving at an airport, only before boarding a plane. One thing here, they make you remove your belt or suspenders and then you have to hold your hands in the air. Well you should expect your pants to fall to your ankles, right? Can they be sued for public embarrassment and humiliation?

So if this trip was to explore, it turned out to be a positive experience. I want more:thumbsup: People were so pleasant.

We write sometimes about shop assistance being uninterested but we found the opposite. ALL were very helpful and pleasant.

Even at LCA we met some nice airline employees its just that they have bad managers.

Some on here have mentioned there being so many people, crowds, but maybe thats because so many people like to be out and about.

Cheers

Originally Posted by dunroving (Post 10818740)

Were you searched because you were in transit? (Did you leave the security area in order to then re-enter a different terminal?) That's the only reason I have ever been searched in this situation - though you aren't really being searched on arrival, but on re-entry to the security area.

Originally Posted by cheers (Post 10818763)

I was searched in terminal 1 and really didn't leave that terminal until I went to the hotel.
It looked like I was being searched in order to contact the airline people.

Originally Posted by Mummy in the foothills (Post 10818675)

North. Near Conwy

Originally Posted by dunroving (Post 10818770)

That is bizarre - maybe you had left the security area, and needed to re-enter the security area to meet with the airline people? I can't think of any other reason why someone would be searched on arrival at an airport.

Originally Posted by trottytrue (Post 10815576)

Talking about friendship and how they work or not....Today I went out for lunch with two ladies I met last year at the hospital. They are very nice but I found myself bored and not interested in what they were talking about. It made me remember back to other times I have tried to make friends, it never really clicks something is missing. Then I realised what it is. When I talk to my friends in England we have so much history together whether its childhood, work related or family. We have a great deal in common we can chat for hours but thats whats lacking with these new friends we lack that link. We dont think the same way.

Originally Posted by jasper123 (Post 10818843)

Avril, this what you say here is very interesting, I feel the same way as you --- but in reverse!!! as you know I lived in US for a long time just like you, and in all those years I had not one British friend, I never came across any that actually lived there ----- only tourists, and I would talk to them briefly on ocacasins but I had nothing really in common with them really, mostly cause I had lived in US for so long and only knew Americans, and although I had few friends over the years, the ones I did have were real friends to me, and now Im back home in UK I still keep in touch with two of my long time dearest and best friends Ive ever had in my life, and thetr both American, one was born and raised in New York and the other California,
And the US was where I spent most of my working life so I was used to the wonderful social aspect of just how americans are when they are at work, I had a lot of work friends that were great to be around, mostly the friendships would stay at work ---- with some exceptions, but that good too,
Now Im back home I find it difficult to speak to English people at any lengh, I find that I have very little if anything in common with them,
where in America I could talk to my friends there for hours and hours and never run out of things to talk about, mainly I think cause ----- like you say about your English friends, you have some history, and things in common with them ---- well with me its the oppisite you see, just about all the history that I can remember has been in America with American people, and I have lots in common with them, and in a lot of ways I still think like Americans.

Originally Posted by dunroving (Post 10818917)

.......
However, I have similar experiences to you here - my 20+ years in the US sometimes mean that I am culturally ignorant (I often have to ask who someone is - besides knowing the Spice Girls and David Beckham, my knowledge and experience of popular culture and British current affairs 1983-2006 is largely non-existent). I also don't want to become a bore by constantly referring to the US ...

Originally Posted by J.JsOH (Post 10819291)

+1
We go out ocasionally with friends that we knew before USA + their friends. Their hobbies are sport and pub quizzes about which I know zilch and in avoiding talk of USA myself I am often left looking blank and with nowt to say on any subject.
I must try to bone up beforehand on some questions I can put to them to keep them talking. DW is good at questioning so I let her lead.

Originally Posted by dunroving (Post 10818917)

I was friends in the US with a British couple and always enjoyed catching up with them, because there were things we could talk about that an American would never get - we had a shared history of growing up in the UK. But that just meant I had a different relationship with them and a different way of interacting. I never had any problem talking with my US friends.

However, I have similar experiences to you here - my 20+ years in the US sometimes mean that I am culturally ignorant (I often have to ask who someone is - besides knowing the Spice Girls and David Beckham, my knowledge and experience of popular culture and British current affairs 1983-2006 is largely non-existent). I also don't want to become a bore by constantly referring to the US ...

Originally Posted by cheers (Post 10820673)

Well its luvley here with clear blue skies and nice and warm.;)

Originally Posted by trottytrue (Post 10820776)

Its nasty here in New Hampshire raining and windy. But better than the humidity. At least I dont feel like a wet blanket.:frown:

Here's a question...I have a jar of Horlicks which had gone rock solid so I thought I would dry it out in the Microwave....Not the thing to do now I have a big blob of horlicks. Anyone any idea how to dry it out and does anyone have any ideas what to do with a big blob of Horlicks.......:frown: