ohdearydear

Completely random but I'm interested to know if people have returned to the UK after being in NZ. Also, has anyone returned with pets? How easy was it? I'm led to believe that it's much easier getting dogs home than it is getting them here. I hear of so many people coming here and then not being able to afford to return or not wanting to return because they love it so much - it'd just be interesting to know if anyone gets back and if they regret it?

We (Mr O and Miss O) moved to NZ in January 2012 and I just can't feel settled - I appreciate that I should give it more time. I've made a friend (move 12,000 miles and make friends with a British woman!) but am finding it hard to meet people - kiwi's aren't as approachable as I first thought - and perhaps I'm not all that eager to get out either so I'm as much to blame.

Our reasoning to come here was for a better family life in the hope that my husband would be working less hours but that has backfired and he's still getting home late most of the time and during those times he also works weekends. It just feels as though I've left behind my family and have nothing to show for it. My daughter was always a very happy little girl - still is. I don't think it'd make any difference where we were in the world for her as long as she's got us. I feel guilt every time we speak to either set of parents on skype as they are clearly missing her. I'm also pregnant with our second child.

We're living in a nice house - too bad that it's not insulated, has no double glazing and no central heating. Stupidly, I never expected it to be so cold here! We wake up every morning to condensation dripping down the windows - makes no difference if I open them all day or not. We've got ourselves a few heaters now which have been a Godsend - but I pretty much have them on all the time which makes my husband mutter about the electricity bill. Realistically though, watching the Jubilee celebrations on TV, we had better weather than them so I can't complain too much.

I'm torn though. My husband likes it. He likes the fact that the country is so beautiful and he thinks that the people are friendlier (I'm yet to evidence this). He likes that within 10 minutes drive we can be somewhere completely different, be it hills, lakes or beach.

Personally - I never thought England wasn't beautiful, you just need to look in the right places from a different angle sometimes. I also don't think you can compare the two countries - they are completely different. I miss my morning walks with the dogs down the fields - not on a flippin' hill like now (they have travelled all this way too) and I miss the convenience and affordability of everything. The supermarkets have a wonderful selection of products at affordable prices and I took it for granted when I was there - it's only when I look at the price of tomatoes here that i realise!

I know this will sound completely wierd but I also miss the fact that England has tradition and history. NZ seems to be lacking in this dept - London is full of historical places, and Oxford, and Bath, and...the list goes on. This paragraph hasn't been added to get lots of comments from people explaining the traditions and culture in NZ - it's simply how I feel.

I see a lot of people in this section are moving back from the States, Canada and Oz but can't find any from NZ. Are you out there?!! How did you find the move? I'd be interested to hear your stories.

We have 2 year work visas and know that we'll be staying for the duration - even if I don't want to. It cost thousands getting us here (we had some of it reimbursed by my husband's job) but it'll cost us to return so I don't want to rush into anything. My husband and I have an agreement that if one of us is ever unhappy we have to talk about it and possibly return but it's hard when he's much happier. It's only been 6 months - I know I should give it longer - hard though when your heart's not in it. Perhaps I'll change my mind this time next year....

Spacecake799

Hi,
Yes Im in NZ, been here 5 & half years. We came for a better quality of life etc just as you said. We bought our kids here and thought we would all love it. I think often the husband is more settled as they are busy at work all day.
I think I realised early on I didn't want to live here for ever. It has taken a long time for various reasons but finally we are leaving next month.

ohdearydear

Thank you for your response Spacecake799. Do you mind me asking if you've always felt like it? Is it worse in the winter for example?! I think you're dead right about it being different for husbands if they are at work...warmer for a start!

Are you sending your belongings back too? Out of interest which removal co. are you using if at all? Best to have this info handy in case I need it in a year! I've already found dog relocation specialists in Wellington if I need them too.

I look forward to hearing how your move goes and how you're settling back in to Blighty. I hope everything works out for you.

Bo-Jangles

I think 'Deary' that this country just suits the matey / blokey psyche much more. It is a very much more hostie and male orientated environment. Most blokes are like labradors and can get through the day knowing there's food, a little bit of loving and somewhere to sleep, they don't want for much else.

Don't envy him his job!! I work full time and for me it's without a doubt the worst aspect of living here. It's absolutely soul destroying and I have had five jobs since being here. The bar is set so very low that total twonks get elevated by their mates through the ranks into positions way beyond their capability.

If I could stay home and just do gardening and pottering about making jam and cakes I would be a whole lot happier and that's saying something. For me NZ just sucked all of the joy out of my work and I simply never get to reap any of the rewards or satisfaction in seeing a job well done.

Wherever I worked in the UK I felt I was among friends but here I just seem to be in the company of incompetent, hard nosed bullies, bitchy prima donnas and nasty folks, who I would otherwise choose not to be around.

Lord knows what we were thinking; somehow we fell for that old story of how the nice scenery and lifestyle would somehow compensate for working more hours for less pay and less holidays.

Stormer999

Hi there,
We are the other way round wife works full time and I stay at home! Yes all you are complaining about with your house, insulation, double glazing, condensation is true.....goes to show how we had been spoilt back in the UK over the last couple of centuries! Before we left the UK I made a like and dislike list and highlighted the reasons for leaving as I knew within a short time of landing that time would work tricks on my memory. When I get doubts I pull up that list to re assure myself because it hasn't changed. I find that the Kiwi people are exactly the same as brits....you have to get to know them as they won't be forming a queue at your door and yes your hubby is right about a short drive and you are in peace and tranquility, get out and try it. The best thing about NZ for this 3 months of the year is it's colder inside than out!
I was told quite straight if you can't make your own entertainment then don't come to NZ. I try to go by that and find it helps.
Perhaps you came from a part of England that was utopia we came from congested midlands where the traffic controlled what time you left the house and the weather made sure you didn't enjoy it.
Don't go down the miserable path of hate the country like some ex Brits that write on here, stop comparing what you had to what youv'e got but look at the plus side of living here and get out change your mindset and talk to people.

Choccie

Hi

One piece of advice I would give you is please don;t stay too long if you are not happy. I feel that that is what has happened to us - we are now in a situation where our eldest daugher wants to stay here. Our son would probably struggle going back into UK school system.

We came for an adventure and to some part we have had that. I do not regret coming here but do regret waiting so long for it to improve.

My hubby has a good job for which we are very grateful and we have a nice house. This however to me does not make for a fulfilling life.

I have very little chance of getting a job. I'm always surprised by the nepotism that exists here.

With regards to pets - they do not now have to go in quarantine when you gat back to the UK so that's some comfort as we would be taking 2 dogs back with us.

It's very isolating here and I really miss being able to go to a show/have a day out. (I know you can have days out but after a while the scenery is not enough!)

luvwelly

I've just returned to UK after 5 years in NZ. To be fair it was never meant to be permanent for us - more of a posting - we always rented never bought and kept our old house in UK rented out.
I've been back 3 weeks in a new part of UK (also OH's job driving this) and have only had 5 good days of weather in that time BUT I am so relieved to be home on so many levels but the main one being access to friends and family, overwhelming choice in supermarkets. My Mum phones me frequently - the time zone was always an issue for us before.

All I am going to miss - I can tell this now - is the weather and the coffee....I can get the scenery here as you say.

I am also drinking in the history all around which was so lacking in NZ architecturally. I never actually wanted to leave UK it was driven by OH's job but I wasn't unhappy in NZ really as we didn't struggle financially as most do, but although I was happy to spend some time there, I'm glad it's now over and we can all put some UK roots back down. I am really really glad also not to have to worry about earthquakes anymore.

Good luck - being pregnant won't make it easy for you. Maybe give it a year at least and try to return with jobs already arranged to take stress away a bit, if you do go down that route.

luvwelly

OH's company paid for it all and organised it but they sent Grace Removals and we have just been told container should arrive mid July so that's only 6 weeks.

No pets but I did export two old cars to UK and have no idea whether that will prove to be sth we regret. If there are any learnings, I'll post them in due course. The rollon roll off ferry for cars takes 3 months Wellington to Southampton.

luvwelly

My main beef with NZ after about a year was that I was stuck in one place for 10 months of the year because of the long drive times/distances between places. In the UK, and I have proved this already, you can visit 3 different towns easily in one day. No need to stay overnight to see friends relatives who live an hour's drive away.

Spacecake799

Luvwelly I could'nt agree more with what you have said.

We did our research, didn't hate the UK but I guess felt we could do better. We sold our house and came as tourists. My husband got his job we all got visas then residency.
It was all great when we first arrived, lovely weather, lots of space, amazing scenery, and no crowds. I soon realised that our finances would never allow us to take return trips to the UK, that we would never go to Europe again and with each passing year that we probably wouldn't see our families again either.
Stormer, you have been here a few short months, I really am glad you love it and maybe you always will. We also come from the midlands, my oh commuted by train to Birmingham each day. You may like the quiet etc, I however feel like I am retired, the scenery is not paying my bills, I hate sunny christmas and want to start my life again. I feel my life is on hold waiting for something more.
Also, why should I mould myself to fit in here, get out there and make friends. I have done that but as I said I don't intend making myself stay here just because England was not perfect. I love everything to do with christmas and have hated every one since I have been here. I don't like the school system here my list could go on.
Honestly, Im not sure what I have gained from being here other than new friends and an insight into another country.
This is all my opinion, but I really am looking forward to going home, for christmas to where my heart is.
Choccie, you are not alone re your daughter. Follow your heart.
Luvwelly, thanks for posting how you are finding it back in England.

Spacecake799

Hi,
I didn't used to want to go home so much. That has got much stronger with time. Strangely whilst I don't like the winter I find christmas the hardest. Its just not the same, I don't want the sun at christmas.
We have sold a lot of our things and will be sending the rest back, we are either usin Allied Pickfords or Transworld. We bought a dog here and are usin Southern comfort kennels in Auckland.
Feel free to ask anything, sadly my husband and son go in July but Im here until November.

Choccie

Spacecake

I know EXACTLY what you mean when you say you feel you have retired. It is something I have found myself saying more and more frequently recently.

Christmas has been a non event since we came too - there just doesn't seem to be anything to look forward to!

nelsonpom

Hi we are another couple not completely happy here. Been in NZ almost 7 years but probably heading back to UK very soon. But have many doubts about the UK as well .....

Tr1boy

I know NZ can be somewhat behind the times but f**k me

Spacecake799

Ha ha ha, I see what I did there! Ok, we brought our kids over with us! Were not quite that far behind.

Thanks for the laugh