I completely agree. The more i think about it, if it's nursing you have your heart set on then i think the way to go is to go and do your RN training at home. And you're not burning your bridges, you're giving yourself a skill to make you even more attractive to the immigration nazis!!

But after 3 years in England you might have one the OH over and you might both want to stay!

Best of luck with whatever you decide though petal. xxx

Aw, colly, i feel for you i really do.

I know nothing about the nursing side of things - but some people have made a few suggestions that may help. I don't know.

I am here and not particularly loving it and gave up a job that i started to get a little bored with in air traffic control but now regret leaving it hugely. It's not a readily available job (i wasn't a controller) , certainly not here in Perth and now I am skill-less it seems. I now can't even get a job as a casual in a shop. grrrrr. I am bored and lonely and came here to give it a go not because I hated UK and not because I craved living in Australia. It was an opportunity, i took it and wished i hadn't. I am hanging on desperatly for citizenship and in time my thoughts may change but i also keep going back to UK for long holidays which tags onto teh time you can get your citizenship!! haha. But luckily we squeezed in on the 2 year rule. I also go back for Christmas for 2 months. bliss.

If you could afford to study here - would you? I mean, i was thinking along the lines of birthing assistant (I have done Doula training here) and am wondering if you coudl earn some money that way, as a Doula/Birth assistant and study here. Get your qualifications, take holidays to UK to fill your heart, and see where you are in 3 years. Bloody long time i know but if you are stuck into studying, and working and your children - maybe it will go quickly.

Not having enough money and feeling useless and trapped is debilitating - well that's how i feel, so i think i can understand a little. So is having an OH who is quite happy but not seeing how desperate their partner is. My OH is the same, and he can see it a bit and tries to understand but his life, except for the landscape and names of friends hasn't changed, whereas mine has gone full circle and i am at polar with my old life. Same with you?

i wish you luck, and confidence to make the right decision for you.

Janine

Hello, my very first time on here and just been reading through threads. Just be careful bolting back to the UK. We were in NZ for 9 months and then returned to UK. Make sure you and your husband want the same thing. It never crossed our minds we would have a difference of opinion which has caused huge stresses. 18 months on we have looked to return to NZ and are currently arranging to return later this year. Give yourself time to settle down again and then make a decision once you're out of the panicky feelings. This is exactly what happened with my husband, but now he's happy to return because of the continuing changes here in the UK, which is why he wanted to go in the first place. Hope this will help. Best of luck with your decision making.
Stelor

Sounds rough at the moment but I have to ask, why on earth does your husband not know how you feel? Do you not talk to each other? Unless you feel you can't discuss it (in which case the marriage is dead in my unqualified opinion) then you sit him down after the kids are in bed and you explain completely what is going on in your head. If you play happy clappy in front of him, he's never going to twig you're unhappy - men don't tend to work that way.

How do you know he's happy? He may be bored stupid sitting on his arse all day. I assume he has an office job

If you were to go back, would it be as a family or on your own - would you leave your children or your husband behind? Where would you live? How would you support your training? It's still not cheap, regardless of where you are.

It sounds to me like there are other issues going on that you, understandably don't want to talk about or are denying. Forget the UK for the moment and concentrate on what's actually happening in your life. You may be surprised to find the answers. If not, the UK will always be there for you if you need it.

Good luck.

It does sound like there is more underlying Collybabe's position then just the job situation.
I take my hat off to people who have worked that hard - I know what its like to struggle jobwise; although I have been working the whole time I've been here, its only after 5 years that I am being recognised at the level I was at when leaving the UK.

To refer to Pen's point about why doesn't your husband know how you feel - I think its actually quite common. The husband is content, moves between the sofa and his work, avoids talking about feelings and homesickness and stuff cos its just too difficult. I think there are plenty of people out there who have no idea what the partner is really feeling about their new lives.
In my case - The Bloke knows I have struggled at work, but he has no idea of even half of the obstacles I have fought against, the opinions I've had to confront, the sheer hostility in some places - and when I do tell him some of it, he doesn't understand it all, so half the time I don't even tell him.
It's possible to relate and be close on several levels, without being close on all levels - and without understanding a lot of the things that make each person tick.

Its often so much easier not to confront your partner with issues, but if it comes down to a decision to go home or not - then you have to talk. The only way to resolve it Colly, is to actually talk openly to him about whether you go back or not. Once you have decided that, then you can work on how to resolve the rest.

Part of what has finally got me to my goal of job satisfaction is a realisation that I have to be proactive about changing what I CAN change, rather than beating my head against a well of what CAN'T be changed. In my case I've been very very lucky, a colleague and friend is doing a counselling course and he approached me as he needed a volunteer to do some practice sessions with, knowing enough about me to realise that I had plenty of issues for us to discuss. I can talk to him openly and completely in confidence and while he can't/won't give me concrete solutions, it makes everything clearer just because I am talking it through.
If you have the chance to talk to anyone who can listen and not judge, you may find the way forward just by articulating what YOU want from life. If not, keep talking it over on here.

Good luck, take it a problem at a time and it may look clearer - to start with would you be going home purely because of the job issue.....?

Totally understand where you're coming from Pol and do get the communication issues between couples - been there, done that but when I (can only speak for me) get to the point where I just can't stand something anymore then by hell it all comes out and I generally get a look of complete astonishment It definitely sounds like it's time Colly's hubby heard all about it in all it's glory, and who knows, might not be totally happy with the situation either.

Well if you do decide to head back home and you might not so take one step at a time....it's very early days for you and "us" ladies seem to not to settle as quickly as others in the family...we are usually trying to make everyone else get "sorted" then when we do it comes down to us!!!!! that's when you start to look around and think...help!!! not sure about this place....give yourself time as you seem to be thinking of coming back to Aus if you do leave in the future...if you do head back to the U.K for your Nursing Degree then you can always re-apply on a "skills" visa which would give you Permanent Residency.......as I said just take a breath.....try and figure out what things you are not "liking" and try and fix it.....if it's work cannot you find a "caring job" that is permanent rather than casual.....nursing homes are always looking for carers......then take it from there....good luck and take your time...each of us are different and leave Aus for various reasons some a lot sooner than others but we do it for our own reasons..ours..well we just feel more settled in the U.K and it has always felt more like home than Aus to us......
Good luck and you will get plenty of friendly help from people on this forum..I know we all have to look towards the future but to far and it can overwhelm you...
Take care

Hello just reading through when I found this how are you now hun
Its Niamh in Buderim as well preggy lady some of what you were saying im feeling as well so hard some times isn't it any way talk soon

Wow it sounds like you have been totally busting your arse trying to get a decent job - you must be exhausted you poor thing.

IMO it sounds like you are pushing shit uphill in Aus, and since its so much more expensive to study here than in the UK and you don't exactly love it here either I would be talking to the OH and setting a date for a return to the UK. It is not worth wasting another 2 years of your life being miserable here just to get a passport, and if you do that, this will just prolong the agony, not good for your health or your marriage.

Good luck with the conversation, but once you have made the decision you should hopefully feel better.