Negative Attitude
 

Is this the same for you wherever you are moving from?

When I tell other Brits here in the Middle East that I'm moving back to the UK, they feel the need to tell me I'm crazy and list the reasons why I shouldn't go like the weather, no jobs, financial crisis, yobs etc. etc.

It's not like I'm trying to make a decision and I'm asking their opinion. I'm teling them that this is what I'm doing and I find it very thoughtless of them to say these things. Does anyone else experience this? Why do they do it?? It's obviously not for my benefit.

I'd like to clarify that these people aren't my friends, who have been genuinely supportive here, but just acquaintances and friends of friends.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

It's a common response, and I think there's something typically British about it. They just can't help themselves.

Don't let it bother you.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

We are moving from Dubai and the attitude is exactly the same I do wonder if people think before they speak. Do they think we will change our minds because they point out how bad it will be That said, for quite few years we did say we would never mover back. Now I am counting the days (9 weeks today).

I was back for a week over easter and I have to say people were so friendly and chatty. I will miss my maid and the sunshine but I'm ready to go.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

I was expecting the same, but just let some of my face book friends in UK know I'm ready to move back and they are all happy and think it's about time. The US friends are just a bit confused, not sure why I'd want to move but understand it's home I'm heading too.
It's hard to ignore the negative, we got that from family years back when we decided to move, This time I'll not say much to those who were so negative last time around.
I suppose at least you'll know who your friends really are after this, they'll be the ones supporting you in the decision thats right for you.
Some take it as some sort of slight on them that you aren't staying.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

One of the traits I loathe more than anything else about British people is their ability to be negative, pessimistic and to complain about anything and everything. The "whinging pom" title is much deserved.

I've no advice for you, other than to just nod, smile and walk away. Or to perhaps tell them you love being in the company of chavs, dog poo, and hoodies, so you're are moving back to the UK?
Or on a more serious note, if you feel you could do it, you could always tell them that their opinion on your life choices is neither invited nor required.

from my experience, the response from every Brit who hasn't ever lived abroad is always, ALWAYS, "What do you wanna come back here for?"
I find it very tiresome.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

You have to question where these people came from in the UK. Let's face it, the back streets of Middlesborough are much different to the Sussex or Dorset coast. Check out the crime stats for an area before you buy, you will soon get a reasonable picture.

http://www.upmystreet.com/local/crime-in-uk.html

Re: Negative Attitude
 

However, many would prefer Middlesbrough to the Sussex or Dorset coast, if that is where friends, family and childhood associations etc. are. And some of the nicest places in England are within easy reach of Middlesbrough.. Teesdale, Saltburn-by-the-Sea, the Cleveland Way for walking...

Re: Negative Attitude
 

Yes, i spent most of my life in Surrey/ East Sussex, before 4 years in Aus and 6 years in Denmark then Singapore, and have just returned to live in Darlington, where most of my family now live, a stones throw from Middlesbrough, and I love it here!

I never thought I'd say it but now that I'm here I am far happier calling the North East and Co. Durham home than I ever was in Surrey/ East Sussex.

You get chav's and crime everywhere, but it's more to do with your neighbourhood than your city or region.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

I would love to move to the North East. Unfortunately my wife would not agree as she doesn't like the cold/damp, so we are looking at South Devon. My family are originally from South Shields, and until recently I had family in Darlington... it sounds like a really nice town, and of course the railway connections make it an attractive proposition. Our son went to Durham University for his masters degree and he loved it there.. he cycled & walked extensively in County Durham and Northumberland, and went somewhere for a football match; Stockton, maybe? Quite an eye-opener for a lad brought up in rural New York, he hasn't been back to America since except for family visits!!

Re: Negative Attitude
 

I'm kind of with Sarah on this one. I would just nod, smile and ignore it. I'm interested to know if these people are originally from the UK or not. Yes, I think there are bad points about the UK but at the end of the day, there's bad points everywhere you decide to call home. If the pull of home is such that you think it's time to move back, you go with your instincts. I love the US, even though it's been a tough move, but I cannot say at this point that we will be here forever. I miss a lot about "home" and I certainly miss my family. And to be honest, if I did decide to go back and got the same attitude you've encountered, I really wouldn't let it bother me. This is your life, your choice and I wish you all the best for your future :thumbsup:

Re: Negative Attitude
 

Some Brits who live here have set themselves up as Lord and Lady Muck and the fact they would be nothing back in the UK colours their attitudes.

We were seriously considering a move back last year, I have to say that friends and family back in England were very positive about it and no-one asked why we'd want to.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

When we did inform our "friends" we were heading home we did get mix responses...I was expecting it though as that's human nature but I still found it unsettling....and I have to say our friends were from all over the globe and we still had negative remarks even from friends who had never been to the UK..luckily my OH is very down to earth and use to say "people judge from their own persective and how they lead their own lives" which and was nothing like our own experiences etc and what we did find was 90% of people who did say we were mad usually came from not so nice areas and jobs etc ....so just do what you think is right..yes it is unsettling to hear comments like you have but it's for a short period until you make your move home..good luck

Re: Negative Attitude
 

I don't think it's a negative attitude to point out some of the problems in society. For example, there does seem to be a housing problem in Britain. According to TV's Panorama program nearly five million people are on a waiting list for social housing that most of them will not receive. Many families, especially in Sheffield, are living in cramped, appalling conditons. This does not bode well for society as a whole.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

Very good point re the Lord / Lady muck, I found that was quite common when I lived in the Middle east

Re: Negative Attitude
 

It's true. People actually do sometimes 're-invent' themselves. They would probably be horrified if their fellow expats really knew the truth about their backgrounds :blink:

Re: Negative Attitude
 

It isn't a problem or a failing to recognise where society is perhaps failing its citizens or where there are problems that need addressing. But to be fair, it needs a balance. I don't find that many Brits sing quite as loudly about some of the countries good points as they do about the bad.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

LOL @ Lord and Lady Muck, ahhh british people.

You've got some good friends! My close friends have also been supportive about my desire to go home, my family and acquaintances think I'm insane.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

Oh i wouldn't worry about it, there's always someone that has that sort of opinion. Usually it's the people that have never moved anywhere in their life. The typical why do you want to leave the nice weather and return to the cold, why give up all the luxuries of the middle east. I know, i lived in Jordan on and off for year while my husband worked there. I hated it. I think the british women out there put up with it because the money is good and they get to have nanny's/maids. That just wasn't me and i let everyone know. We will be returning to the UK at the end of the year from Perth WA, people are quite happy that we are going back but we still do get the negative things said to us about work in the UK. I think it's just the british way and also the british newspapers. Well, we'll soon find out!

Re: Negative Attitude
 

Thanks for the comments and support :) I haven't let it bother me too much I just found it quite inconsiderate.

They were British born and mostly lived in parts of London I think, so I agree that perhaps when they think of the UK they summon up worse memories / experiences than I maybe because of their area.

I also agree that people might see it as a 'slight' on them that I'm choosing to move away from where they're happy. Perhaps they feel like they have to defend their choice to stay??

Odd, but each to their own & all that!

Re: Negative Attitude
 

I bet the people who are all doom and gloom about you moving back we're probably the same way when you told them you were leaving in the first place .." What d'you want to do that for ", " Oh big mistake that" etc, etc.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

Indeed, they are generally not the type to look on the bright side of life!

Re: Negative Attitude
 

agree entirely , the negative british public and institution and ermmm perceived self imposed class system does grate on someone who has lived overseas for donkeys years . Its bloody hard to ignore too ,i knw i just want to say ''shut the f@@k up''

Re: Negative Attitude
 

Of course the upside is we don't trumpet our own horns, we have the best sense of humour in the world and we find pleasure in the smallest things - my American wife found it puzzling at first that I could get so excited about " Having a lovely cuppa and a chocy bikky" .:)

Re: Negative Attitude
 

They're not the products of being a nation of complainers though.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

Actually, I find the the attitudes in the UK quite open and refreshing after living in North America for 23 years where everything is rah-rah, rainbows and lollipops.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

Even the Conservative government has stated that house prices are too high and must come down. Expensive housing was a product of the cheap and easy credit made available by the former socialist government. And a few others, including the people themselves who took on all of this debt.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

Do you really think the prior government was socialist? Left of centre, yes, but socialist? I mean perhaps they were, I'm not a political science student, and for the tail end of their government I didn't live in the country.

House prices have been out of the average persons reach since the housing boom at the end of the 80s IMO, when house prices doubled and tripled but wages did not. Which was under a conservative government btw.
But yes house prices are ridiculous. Owning your own home has become a dream for many of the kids born in the 70s and 80s. Here in the US its no better, believe me.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

Okay, left of centre is more accurate. I don't know what's going to happen either. Like I said on another thread, when I left the UK in 1982, my house was worth three times my salary. Today it would cost 8 to 9 times my salary (in the same job). The government certainly don't want a housing crash with people walking away from their homes. That would really put a strain on the banks. My guess is that the market will more or less flat line (give or take a few fluctuations) until inflation catches up but I have been wrong before. Even some the financial institutions are negative on house prices now after talking the market up for years. I am sure that for those in negative equity, they will have a sound investment in the long term. At my age, I have lived through numerous housing booms and crashes. It is a fact of life. Houses always go up faster than salaries and then pull back somewhat.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

ohhhhhhh Mr Kong are you still in Aus or back in Blighty? Skeggy beach is waiting......

Re: Negative Attitude
 

You're making me homesick. Take your wife to Durham / Northumberland for a visit - it's not always cold / damp and there is so much on offer (if she likes shopping go to Newcastle and the Metro Centre!!) - she may just change her mind ;)

Re: Negative Attitude
 

Actually she & I had a week in Durham in April 2007, the year our son was at the University. The high point of the trip was a fish & chip lunch at Colmans in South Shields. And we found two or three very pleasant pubs in Durham and vicinity. The weather was cold but that was to be expected in April... the year before, I had an excellent week in Alnwick with my sister. I really love the coast in Northumberland, we also visited Chillingham Castle which was excellent; somewhat quirky and decrepit, but full of interesting stuff. Very good used bookshop in Alnwick.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

I wouldn't be concerned about what others say. I am moving back to London after nearly 6 years in Vancouver and can't wait! I have been met with the same negative reponses from Brits and Canadians alike. However, home is home.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

Yes, there will always be those who disagree with our choices and it can be upsetting but I think our challenge is to be confident in our own choices and not sink into judging those who disagree with us. Everyone has their own reasons for the choices that they make. If you are talking to Brits who are staying where you are now then they obviously have to justify staying.
Perhaps they are avid Daily Mail readers. :sneaky:
Until we have walked a mile in their shoes.....

Re: Negative Attitude
 

I too am moving back from Vancouver to Glasgow after 4 1/2 years, I've been pretty lucky in that I've had almost no negative comments other than someone at my kids school whom I barely know came up to me and uninvited by me listed all the reasons she couldn't move back, eg all the things that were wrong with the UK and how I'd better be sure of what I was doing as it was financial suicide to move back again etc etc. Like someone else has said I think with some people it touches a nerve and they have to justify their decision to stay even if you haven't asked them to.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

Yes, some places, such as Whitby, are worth visiting for the fish and chips alone. Good fish and chip shops are worthy of a seperate thread. When it comes to good fish and chips, the north seems to have the edge but I am sure someone could prove me wrong. I recently came across these people in the Bradford area and I can honestly say they were the best I have had anywhere (no, I am not the owner):

http://www.webstersfishandchips.co.uk/

Re: Negative Attitude
 

People may also be jealous because they don't have the determination to do what you have done. I notice that even when we go on holiday, people come up with a hundred reasons why we should not go where we have chosen to go. Seems to be human nature.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

We have had very mixed reactions since telling people we are heading back to the UK. Most people here in Australia think it will be a big adventure for the kids and understand totally as do most of our friends in England but some do say 'why are you coming back here ?' They are the sort that think the UK is on a downward spiral and gone to the dogs etc. They quite honestly think the problems affecting the UK are confined to the UK, we have ALL the same problems here, crime, drugs, kids hanging around etc.
We know where we are going is a nice place and we will be happy so that's all that matters really.

Re: Negative Attitude
 

Sounds like the typical "Daily Mail" reading expat response

Re: Negative Attitude
 

I thought I was re-reading my own post about the UK then. :rofl:

Something I just put down on another thread about that particularly British trait of working so hard at being miserable. :cool:

Re: Negative Attitude
 

True but are we whinging about the whingers? :rofl: