windsong

I can really relate to your story even though my circumstances are a bit different.

I lived in the Midwest for 30 years and have always wanted to go home but the desire has to much stronger over the last six years. I stayed in the Midwest hoping I could find a decent job but could only find temp and short-term contract jobs for the last four years. For those four years, my goal was to go home but I began to lose hope. I needed a job to save in order to make it happen.

Well, a month ago I made a drastic move - sold everything and moved to CO where there are many more jobs. The only way I could make mysel do it was to see it as the first step in going home to the UK - selling everything! I am interviewing and things look hopeful or going home fairly soon.

When I was in the Midwest, I was prepared to save only the minimum to get me into the UK. I planned to stay with my half-sister with my pets until I could save enough to get settled on my own.

Now that I am in CO, if I get a job soon, I could get back with the bare minimum funds by early summer I think. However, I came to CO with minimum funds and am living with a friend until I get a job and my own place here. This was enough of a lesson to make me rethink going home to the UK with only my airfare and little in my pocket. The good thing is that even if I delay to the end of the summer/fall, I should be able to have a small savings - enough to get settled in the UK when I find a job there - to take back with me. Fingers crossed . . . I am interviewing for a fabulous job and, if I get it, I can turn my life around very quickly!

I just read my own message back People here are suggesting I stay in CO long enough to take back considerable funds to the UK. Isn't that always the case? We get swayed by external circumstances or people rather than listen to our own hearts. My heart has told me for YEARS to go back home so the big question now is will I go as per my original plan (minimum funds) or stay a little longer to take more money? I am 61 - I have waited way too many years to delay! My heart wants to go by yesterday but my head tells me wait a little longer. At least in my case, we are only talking of a difference of about five months. It's not an eternity.

Now, whenever I go back, it is only flights that are involved and the mailing of a few possessions. I no longer have to get rid of a house full of "stuff". It's already done.

Englishmaple

Thanks for posting this Windsong - I'm in awe of you!

I did think about moving to Edmonton/Alberta and working there for a while before I moved back to the UK to get a job and more money - but when I realised what Winter would be like there, I decided not to - and my heart really wasn't in it either.

I think that's the big lesson that I've taken from all this - to listen to my heart. The day after I made the decision to definitely leave Canada, I physically felt the tension around my heart ease - I hadn't been aware of how much physical tension was there until I felt that part of my body physically relax and I was stunned. I think it's not until you experience that, that you realise what the emotional costs are with living somewhere that you are not happy in. And all the naysayers are quick to judge but usually haven't experienced what that's like.

I also hear you about the money - but I'm realising more and more how much I spend which is related to my unhappiness - even if it's only small amounts (like Starbucks) - but on a regular basis it adds up and I realise the many tiny ways I try to cheer myself up by spending bits of money. I really feel I won't do this in the UK because I will be that much happier.

For instance, when I last went back for a visit (in 2012 after a gap of 7 years) I remember standing in the countryside and thinking how beautiful the landscape was and being broken open by its beauty and the contrast between where I'd been living in Canada and what I'd left behind in England ... and things like that, you can't put a price on.

I know I'm going to be lot poorer in the UK compared to the lifestyle I have now but I think I will be more at peace with myself ... and if I'm not, well, nothing is set in stone and I will change things up again. Being an expat has definitely made me more resilient and going through the current process of moving has made me more aware of this too.

I've ditched more books since I last wrote! - I'm down to about 50 now! I would love to get rid of more but I'm down to the kind of reference books that I will need for work - so until I've got some secure employment I'm keeping them! Letting go of stuff is definitely a process - it's got easier for me as I've gone along. I'd like to let go of more stuff but I think I'm down to bare bones now - probably 12 to 15 boxes total. It may still be too much for my tiny bedroom in the UK! - but I'll manage somehow.

Good luck Windsong - keep listening to your heart.

Englishmaple

Quick update - I submitted my tax paperwork yesterday. And today is the first day of March and the last full month I spend in Canada. I cannot believe how many changes have happened the last few months but I feel so much lighter and happier in myself even as I realise there are things I'm going to miss here too - but I'm so looking forward to returning to the UK as well. Bittersweet.

Englishmaple

Quick question about flights - so I looked up some and am finding that a one way ticket seems to cost a lot more than a return ticket .. which surprises me! Does anyone have advice about the best way to purchase a fairly cheap ticket to the UK - is it better to buy a return and not use the return portion?

BTW ideally I would like to get a day flight so that I arrive in the UK in the evening as I don't travel well and this is the best arrangement for me with respect to my well being. However most of the one way flights during the day are astronomical prices - around 1500 dollars.

Any suggestions appreciated - I am looking around the mid April period which I know coincides with Easter - I'm hoping to come back just before Easter but can be flexible with my dates.

islandwoman120

I found the same thing about ticket prices, and I think many others on BE will echo that. I ended up buying a return, and not using the return portion. I believe others were able to get a refund for the unused portion, but I left it too late to do that as I was undecided about staying v returning to the US for the first few months of my UK life.

lf1

I'd get a return if it is cheaper. Where are flying from and to? sorry if you have already posted this info. I know that flying out of Calgary to the UK the scheduled flights are overnight. Not sure about the charter flights. If you can't find a day flight from your location you could consider connecting through another city. I think there used to be daytime flight out of Toronto, but not sure if that is still the case. Best of luck

Englishmaple

I'm going to fly out of Toronto - and yes there are day flights out of there - but the prices are astronomical. I think I will get a return and just not use the return portion - it seems crazy but it definitely looks cheaper.

Dashie

Cheapest from Toronto that I know of are Air Transat or Iceland Air. Iceland Air also give double the baggage allowance of anyone else that I'm aware of.

Englishmaple

Thanks - I'll look into that. When I looked up on expedia, the only day flights that came up were aircanada though.

I have an xe.com query - I'm going to open an account with them but I'm just wondering - I won't have a UK account to transfer money to until I get to the UK - is it still possible to open an xe account if one doesn't have a UK account? (I'll have the canadian account details though).

Dashie

Air Canada is your most expensive flight option. Depends whether flying in the day is worth the extra money to you I guess

Englishmaple

I've never done a night flight (altho' I did get on an overnight coach from Newcastle to London once which was horrendous - no sleep at all) - but even with day flights I find it takes me at least a week to feel like I can function - I travel really really badly and it throws out my sleep something rotten. At least doing a return ticket on a day flight will work out cheaper than one way.

merciacanuk

the key words you used are "live" in the Uk and "die" in Canada so that should help you make your mind up. Just don't expect to live like a Canadian in the UK.My friends are always whinning over there but they still go to exotic places for vacation and purchase the latest Tv's cars etc so I would not let that influence you. I've been in Ontario for 25 years and all my friends here are immigrants! Hopefully homebound in the next 2 years! good luck.

islandwoman120

I think you have hit the nail on the head with this comment, The first year back you tend to make many comparisons between the two countries (in my case it was the US) and it is painful. Material goods often cost more here, and are not always the same - and the UK is Metric whereas the US is Imperial in sizes of items. Not always possible to compare 'apples with apples'. But once you get past the first year or so, and start getting money in GBP and not having to continuously convert US dollars, life gets better. Coming from Canada it should not be such a culture shock, and you will be accustomed to Nationalised medicine. Whereas coming from the US with no national health care system, being accustomed to either paying for all your care or having none at all in many situations (mine included) the fact that you have access to medical personnel and facilities without having to provide an insurance card and co-payments is a wonderful relief. Swings and roundabouts.

Pistolpete2

I accept the night flight / day flight issue but Dashie has said that Air Transat happens to be the cheapest from Toronto and I concur as we were on this case somewhere else this week. Perhaps Dashie should have added that they sell one way tickets as a 'speciality' meaning that they are NOT more expensive than round-trip, more like Half a round-trip ticket.

Therefore you don't have to worry about the possibility of recovering some of the costs associated with the unused portion of your overall ticket to make financial sense of it all.

There are times of year and specific dates when Icelandair are a bit cheaper but I think the layover in Reykjavik would do you in if you suffer from exaggerated jet-lag conditions.

Dashie

Maybe Dashie thought she could look that up herself? All I know is that they're cheaper, not what each airline specialises in.

IcelandAir is a longer trip, but might be worth looking into due to the doubled baggage allowance and possibility for daytime travel. Again, I haven't looked at that element of it myself.