3 go mad in Adelaide

I am so glad that I have found this site and this forum in particular. I am not an 'Aussie Basher' - I actually have aussie family and lived and went to school here in my teens. I have seen some wonderful places and met some great people since being here this time around and in my first bout of living here in the eighties. But for all that, I am not happy here (as I have talked about in previous posts, so won't go too far into it) it's a beautiful country (Tasmania for one has a view to gasp over around every corner) and certainly I have some better days than others - like stopping at the park on the way home from school on sunny days and watching my daughter play whilst I sit on a bench with a good book (although we seem to be the only people who every actually use this park, which I find quite bizarre!). Although I can find positives in Aus, living here day to day is just not for us - we know this and are prepared to do something about it (ie: go home!).

My point is that I have been using certain sites since we made the choice to come here and although at times they have been very helpful, I have found that now we are actually experiencing living here and not exactly enjoying it, I have found that trying to express my views has led to me feeling quite vilified at times.

I have never been rude, condesending or personal to anyone on any forum (certainly not knowingly anyway) but at times a have felt rather personally attacked for my views (which I usually express in a cathartic way). I have been told that I should not be trying to put a downer on other people trying to make the move here (I'm not) to being patronisingly told to 'give it more time, you'll get used to it (argh!) I have also felt that some people have eluded to the fact that that I am not trying hard enough (wtf?) and been made to feel like a failure, whilst they all crow on about how fab their lives are!

I have given up on a couple of other sites after getting some rather rude replies to my comments and have at times sat here thinking 'omg, it IS just me - what am I doing wrong?' But then I found this forum and now realise that I am not alone, that it is possible to appreciate Australia but know that it is not the place you wish to spend the rest of your days and to know that life is just too short to be unhappy anywhere. So thank you all for restoring my faith in myself, know that I am not just a 'wingeing pom' and to know that there is a little corner of the 'world wide web' that I can call my little haven when I do need to have a little 'blowout'!

Thanks again guys - you make me feel human.

Bijilo123

If people are being rude to you then you shold not construe this as a sign of any failings in your personna or character. It is actually quite common and some of the repartee, whilst rude, is actually quite funny. Personal attacks are more obvious and can be ignored.

This sort of forum and others does have a personality but it is not the real world - I mean we make up names and identities and sometimes histories too - so please don't take it too seriously - but equally do coninue to sound off if you want.

quoll

Join the gang, sweetie, I know just how you feel. I open my mouth to change feet on a regular basis on this and other boards with a similar response - why am I raining on their parade? (personally couldnt give a stuff if they came here or not but they ask questions and I figure they want opinions/answers and, if not, why ask in the first place?)

I know that this forum has been a haven for me too - I dont vent IRL, I have given up earbashing the DH, he knows how I feel. I think it is wonderful to have people who actually understand what it is to feel like that you dont belong in a place even if it is paradise. I think of many of you on this part of the board as friends because you can understand where I am coming from.

So meanwhile, vent away, we will "get it"!

3 go mad in Adelaide

You are an absolute star, Quoll!

islandergirl

I know exactly what you mean, I have been "zipping it" and "making the best of it" and worse "being positive" for years so it was great to find this site.

I have only posted on the Australia forum a couple of times, as there are some shockers on there and I too can do without the abuse and vilification (again when people have asked questions and I have posted an honest reponse this has not gone down well, not with the OP but with other individuals on the site).

What I also don't get is when we post stuff on the MBTTUK forum and some loser posts comments like 3 go mad has quoted, or worse abuses the OP and talks trash about the UK. That IMO is the sign of a person with little to live for IRL that they have to be a keyboard warrior and go looking for a fight.

So vent away, I don't hate Aus either but I quite enjoy having a few humorous jibes at the country and the people, they are certainly quick to bag our country so let's vent on!

Merseygirl

I know exactly were you are coming from '3 go mad in Adelaide'. I also live in Adelaide and have been here for the past 13 yrs. Yes, it is a pleasant enough place in it own way-but I find day to day living here rather dull in the long term and it has never felt quite like 'home' in the true sense of the word. Yet other people love it for the very reasons I don't. We are all different. But there are plenty of people on this forum who feel the same way as you do, so feel free to express how you feel, we all understand.

ellie10990

yes

Im in Adelaide too and like you I can see some of the positives but it doesnt feel right for me either .There are far more things that I dont like and overall I feel the life I had back in the Uk was much better.

I also have given up posting on some of the adelaide expat sites as when I gave my personal opinion,if it was less than glowing about the place I was subject to personal attack.

So you are definately not alone and theres probably many more like us who just keep their mouth shut and pretend everything is fab.

3 go mad in Adelaide

Hey Ellie, where abouts are you in Adelaide (or Oddelaide as you so wonderfully put it! ) how long have you been here?

ellie10990

Im in flagstaff hill and we have been here 18 months now and counting

Desire

Hey it must be something to do with Adelaide
I have been here 3 and a half years, thats been difficult for me...... can't believe Merseygirl has been here for 13 years and still struggles
That just sounds like a life sentence
I feel i am just going through the motions of day to day life and yet feel i have died inside some where along the way!
Going back to thr Uk for our first visit xmas and New Year, just hope it helps cement where i want to be The rest of my family are quite happy here.

3 go mad in Adelaide

Mmmmmm, yes I think Adelaide may have something to do with it I think 3 1/2 years sounds like a killer personally!

Hope you enjoy your trip back at Christmas at that it brings some kind of resolution for you, I really feel for you, that feeling of losing yourself (as I am starting to feel) is just awful, isn't it?

TraceyW

I gave up posting anwhere other than on this part of the forum a long time ago.There is absolutely no point whatsoever in trying to argue your opinions to a bunch of people who either love it here (and good luck to 'em I say) or haven't even got here but they're convinced it will be soooo much better than the UK

At least on this part of the site people get what I'm saying and I never feel worried about voicing my opinions.

This section has been a Godsend to me over the years and I will always be grateful to all the peeps who've offered me an ear to bend and a shoulder to cry on.

backagen

I've been here 19 years and still struggle! I'm determined it won't be a life sentence though. I'm off back home asap!

Glasgowlass

Hello

I'm coming up for my 18 year anniversary in Adelaide and can relate to all that you are saying. Sending best wishes to you and others who can get out while they can. Adelaide is a lovely place...for a holiday.

Merseygirl

Hey Elllie, I'm in Flagstaff Hill too! Nice suburb, but like much of Adelaide, not much happens.....