I expect that the set of circumstances I am about to describe is not all that unique. Apologies if this is something that has been discussed a zillion times here before.

I am a Brit and my wife is Aussie. We met in the UK and had our first child there. After a few years I really needed a career change and my wife wanted us to give life in Australia a go. So we did.

We've been here 4 years now. We've been running our own business, which is moderately successful I guess, and had a second child.

I've never really settled in Australia. It has never really felt like 'home' to me and I suspect that I could be here forever and it never really would. There's too many aspects of UK life I miss. Things that just aren't the same here. It's not a case of joining a new golf club or cricket club or shooting club and just getting stuck in. I miss the sport (which as we all should know is not the same in Australia), miss the proximity to Europe and the opportunities that provides, miss the history and ''oldness'', miss the way things tend to be done in England. Miss the northern hemisphere Christmas etc etc etc.

So, I miss the UK and my wife is getting tired of the demands of the business (as am I to some degree).

We could move back to the UK I guess in the next a year or so, if we decide to.

But should we? So many people speak so negatively and critically about the UK. I mean, I don't feel my life is better in Aus than it was in England but when you keep hearing so many people telling you how terrible Britain is and how wonderful Australia is you start to get nervous, especially where kids are concerned.

I am concerned that moving back there, uprooting the kids and so on (even though they are young) would be selfish on my part and am concerned that once the novelty of living back there has worn off I'll regret it.

VERY confused indeed.

Any advice or general words of wisdom?

It is tough mate. There's always that little voice in the back of your head reminding you about the fun you used to have with your friends and family and all those places you used to go to. If you post in this section you'll get glowing reports of how happy they are they moved back. If you post in the Aussie section you'll get all the negative aspects of living in Britain '09. At the end of the day its down to you and only you that will know how you'll handle it.

I didnt take to being back. I couldnt get my head around being in the UK doing the things that made me so mad in the first place! I still think i dreamt 7 years in Canada. Having said all that, i would be so worried if i went back to Canada now.

Can you remember what made you go to Aussie in the first place?

I think maybe stick it out for a while until this economic mare calms down. It would be hard enough moving when jobs are hard to come by.

If you are going to do it then do it whilst the kids are small as it is far easier for them to adjust.

It would also be a good idea to sit down and ask yourself what sort of lifestyle you would want in the UK, and make sure you pick the right area for it. We used to live in a London suburb, but now live in the countryside and we love it.

If weather is an issue for you, then choose areas with overall milder weather.

Firstly I'd make sure you and your wife are united in any decisions you make, as that will make things much smoother and any hurdles easier to overcome.

Don't worry about the kids, they'll hit you for loans while you're working and shove you into a home when you're not.

Ha!

Good one!

Thanks for the replies so far.

It is tough because you hear so much scare-mongering about the UK. I'm very, very tempted to believe that 90% of that is the British moaning about pretty much nothing but how can you know for sure?

I think it does hugely depend on which area you go to. Dorset or Devon is going to be very different to South East London, for example.

About making sure you make a united decision. That is SO true. When we came here, my wife was slightly pushy on the issue and I think I've resented that a little bit.

It's very important for big decisions like where you live to be made mutually. If one person isn't too sure about it then it can lead to massive problems if things don't go brilliantly in the future.

We came back to UK in April. I can honestly say that all the doom and gloom peddled about the UK has affected us very very little. OH has secured a good job and is STILL being hassled by recruiters for other jobs. So unemployment doesnt touch our radar thankfully. Not saying its like that for everyone, but to blanket the whole UK job market as gloomy is untrue. It depends what you do.
The recession is actually saving us money and giving us the opportunity to buy up new goods on the cheap!!
Bought a fabulous 40 inch full HD Samsung TV last week for less than half the price it is in Aus!

I just got back from a month in the UK and would be back there in a flash given the opportunity. The doom and gloom is a fiction created by the media and adopted by people who have never lived anywhere else so have nothing to measure it again. They don't realise how lucky they are.

I read an interesting article on this site once that advised one to consider the reason one left in the first place before considering a return. Do these reasons still apply? If so, then it's highly unlikely that going back is the answer. If they don't then seriously consider it.

For us the reasons for leaving was for my husband to find a new job in his field and to be able to afford to buy a house. We couldn't consider going back until these are resolved no matter how much we miss it. But our day will come and then we'll be back faster than you can say 'cup-a-tea and a slice of cake'.

You are the creator of your own reality!Some people reside in the UK and only notice the negative crap.Yes of course there is some but why only dwell on the negatives?I had a good life in Oz but my life got better when I moved back to the UK.I moved to Oz as a young child so had no say in the matter.From my own experience,where I live is absolutely fine,otherwise I would'nt of decided to stay here.(OH had applied for a spousal visa,we returned to Oz last May to validate but then decided to stay in the UK).Don't believe everything you read/hear.But I will say,if you're unsure what to do,its probably a good idea to stay where you are until you are sure.Its a big move!Good luck with whatever you decide but most importantly I hope you find some happiness wherever that happens to be!

This is a tricky one. I think if you and your wife are happy and settled, there is a good chance the kids will be too, where ever you are. As for the UK, I see nothing that would put me off returning if I was unhappy here. I was back recently to visit relatives and in spite of all the doom and gloom stories and the fact a recession was in full swing, the place was in good shape and all my friends and family were flourishing.
You do seem very unsettled here, so possibly planning to go back when feasible would give you a target and then you could try to milk the best out of life here meantime.
Good luck!

This is so true....I was back in July and thought the place was wonderful (SE & SW England only) and I like where I am in NZ too...but I never wanted to leave UK in the first place...I think if you left for reasons other than hating the place, it makes it much easier to settle back. BUT if you emigrated because you read the Daily Fail too much and lived in a drossy area with obvious social problems, then you may well wonder why you should return since the major downside is of course the weather....

Reading through your backposts it seems you have already made up your mind, but if it were me I would try and look at the long-term as well as what might be immediately satisfying for you right now. Do you and your family all have Australian citizenship? Long-term outlook for the UK is not good, so in the future you might want to return to Aus, especially in retirement for the better weather, etc. If you don't have Aus citizenship, is it realistic to wait for it? Then you keep your options open for life.

On the basis of...?

Kidding, right? Currency being devalued to nothing, manufacturing base dwindling, no natural resources, limited self-determination, imminent power black-outs due to underfunded utilities, severely overpopulated, reputation as financial centre in ruins, biggest per capita government debt of first world. It's a basket case.

This should be good....

That's a good rate for returners