Re: Moving Back As a Single Parent
 

Enjoy yourself when you are back as well and try to imagine your life being back on a full time basis. As for child support, if you contact your county child support department and start a case they can use your divorce agreement to set up an income with holding order so that your child support is deducted by your soon to be ex employer paid to the county who will in turn pay you. Depending on the county I have heard that some will transfer the support to a foreign bank. Check into it when you return it makes life so much easier. In my case they assess a cost of living adjustment every 2 years and they will take your ex back to court whenever there is a change in circumstances. I have to say the child support departments stateside are much better than the UK CSA.

Re: Moving Back As a Single Parent
 

Well been back just over a week and I actually cried as we took off from Gatwick to return, I now know that for all it's faults the UK will be better for us in the long term. To be supported by family and friends and get our lives back together.

So now I have to start the formal seperation agreement and get him to sign on the dotted line.

Wish me luck.

Re: Moving Back As a Single Parent
 

Fifteen years ago when I was back in the UK - actually its longer than that - I cried at the airport before my return flight to the USA. At the time, I thought there was something wrong with me for feeling that way but here in this forum, I have read that many have done that. Those tears are a strong message and I wish I had listened to them then. I think you are doing the right thing in going back.

Re: Moving Back As a Single Parent
 

:fingerscrossed::fingerscrossed:

Re: Moving Back As a Single Parent
 

Glad you were able to confirm in your own mind what you now need to do. It can be tough being a single parent but if I had a choice between staying and having to cope with dealing with my ex I'd choose to do it on my own every time. If you need any help just shout:)

Re: Moving Back As a Single Parent
 

Glad you gave it a go your tears are a sign & sure you will fulfill your decision. I was willing to return to UK last year after a bad patch in my marriage. I felt torn as had my eldest child in UK (returned to be with his father) I am currently in UK setting up a few things whilst on maternity leave i am happier now & hubby has now decided to return permanently by the end of this year.
In your situation it is better to be near close family & friends & get the support, it will be hard to sort the legalities (divorce, custody) etc. But you will get through it

Re: Moving Back As a Single Parent
 

Thanks for the kind words everyone. As a British Citizen I can divorce him from the UK after 2 years of seperation, it's the permission I now need to leave with my daughter that will be the hardest thing to get although he did promise that if that is what she wanted and I could make a go of things that he would sign her over. :fingerscrossed:

I will need lots of positive vibes from my Expats in the coming weeks and months.

Back2Blighty

Re: Moving Back As a Single Parent
 

I agree. The last time I spent any time in the UK I actually walked off my flight before it took off when it was time to catch the return flight. Nothing to do with not liking flying but clearly I did not want to go back. Then ensued several days and much expense righting that decision as I had responsibilities - job etc....

I vowed then that when I made the final decision to go back to the UK it would be on a one way ticket as symbolism.

Re: Moving Back As a Single Parent
 

I've had to work at receiving such permission from my ex and my advice is to make it as easy on him as possible. Draw up the letter yourself, help him with figuring out notaries, let him know seeing his daughter whenever he wants won't be a problem. I don't know your daughter's age but maybe she could draft up a note to him stating she wants this and why. I'd also suggest doing it (the move) before the divorce gets to the child custody stage as that will make things more difficult.

Best of luck to you in this!

Re: Moving Back As a Single Parent
 

Just an update. My daughter and I are due to fly home on May 25, it has been a very stressful few months trying to tie up loose ends, quit my job :eek:, all personal possessions either sold, donated or dumped, photos scanned, pared down our lives to 4 suitcases, basically leaving with what we can carry and the cat, a sad end to our Canadian adventure but looking forward to starting a new one back in the UK with family and friends.

I will update you all again in the weeks to come.

Back2Blighty

Re: Moving Back As a Single Parent
 

Good luck to you both, its stressful just moving "down the road" let alone overseas and even more so when your doing all the work on your own....so a big pat on the back to you, if you can get through that you can get through anything, it will be a new and fresh start for you both. Best wishes

Re: Moving Back As a Single Parent
 

Glad you made it so far...sure you won't have any regrets when settle here, its gonna feel a bit daunting but you won't be the first & definitely won't be the last!
I've returned & no regrets, good luck keep us posted :)

Re: Moving Back As a Single Parent
 

Wishing you lots of luck, I can imagine how stressful and sad this must all have been. Hopefully it won't take too long for things to fall into place for you in the UK so you can start a new chapter in your lives.

Please keep updating us so we know how you are doing.

Re: Moving Back As a Single Parent
 

Oh, it's so close now. I know the last few months have been so hard and it's all been so stressful and the uncertainty adds a huge amount of stress but you are well on your way to getting your lives on track, a bright new start. I know it's sad, but try to look to the positives and focus on the good that is to come.

Re: Moving Back As a Single Parent
 

There is an organisation for single parents in the UK called GingerBread that you can join for free and they offer support, advice and some really good offers. You can also network with other single parents and be kept up to date with any legislation that effects single parents.