moving back daughter does not want to go
Jun 24th 2007, 9:26 pm
#31
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Re: moving back daughter does not want to go
Just to let you know the reason we are going back so quickly is that I have a job to go back to.
We are hoping our daughter comes with no problem even when she is 16. We have been trying to talk (hard at the moment) we have explained that she would not be able to sport herself if she stayed on her own. We have also offered to pay for her to come back when she is 18 and finished her studdies.
At the moment we are in the quiet mode and trying to drop hints now and then
LC
We are hoping our daughter comes with no problem even when she is 16. We have been trying to talk (hard at the moment) we have explained that she would not be able to sport herself if she stayed on her own. We have also offered to pay for her to come back when she is 18 and finished her studdies.
At the moment we are in the quiet mode and trying to drop hints now and then
LC
Jun 26th 2007, 2:16 pm
#32
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Re: moving back daughter does not want to go
You're the one who brought her to Australia in the first place. Now you want her to co-operate with your plan to move back. Does the fact you will be taking her away from a place she likes not bother you in any way?
Have you thought about meeting her half-way, ie staying another year or two (allowing her to get her citizenship), and then moving back to the UK if you still want to. With or without her.
If she does feel forced to move back to the UK and doesn't like it there, you should accept that it may utterly poison her relationship with you.
Have you thought about meeting her half-way, ie staying another year or two (allowing her to get her citizenship), and then moving back to the UK if you still want to. With or without her.
If she does feel forced to move back to the UK and doesn't like it there, you should accept that it may utterly poison her relationship with you.
Jun 26th 2007, 2:20 pm
#33
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Re: moving back daughter does not want to go
Yes I agree with that!! in was in content of the sentence and anyway everyone has a choice and I think we are all a bit racist about things deep down...
Jun 26th 2007, 4:31 pm
#34
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Re: moving back daughter does not want to go
We have got citizenshipship (well ceremony in a few weeks). Yes I can understand what you are saying and yes I do want her to be happy!!! Im not forcing her to come back to UK but then again I have got two other kids I have to think about and they miss their family as well.... Yes in hingdsight you think about these things and think you will deal with them when they happen, and thats what Iam trying to do, make us all happy...... I remember she hated it here up uintil about 6 months ago!! Its really hard for all of us...
Jun 26th 2007, 5:50 pm
#35
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Re: moving back daughter does not want to go
Thanks for the comments.
Agree it is a stupid law with 14 year olds.
We would not stay for citizen ship why we do not like it here and why have all the hassel to become a citizen when we would not come back.
Agree we are trying with sitting down and discussing with her. She is 15 but immature for her age. She has a boyfriend which is making it harder.
LC
Agree it is a stupid law with 14 year olds.
We would not stay for citizen ship why we do not like it here and why have all the hassel to become a citizen when we would not come back.
Agree we are trying with sitting down and discussing with her. She is 15 but immature for her age. She has a boyfriend which is making it harder.
LC
Jun 26th 2007, 9:26 pm
#36
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Re: moving back daughter does not want to go
That's really got me thinking. I don't think I agree, but am intrigued as to why you think it to be the case.
I think racism depends on many things, mainly related to your (as in 'one', not 'you') upbringing and education. And then maybe experiences of differences, perhaps? Mine have mostly been very positive.
I think racism depends on many things, mainly related to your (as in 'one', not 'you') upbringing and education. And then maybe experiences of differences, perhaps? Mine have mostly been very positive.
Jun 27th 2007, 6:42 pm
#37
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Re: moving back daughter does not want to go
That's really got me thinking. I don't think I agree, but am intrigued as to why you think it to be the case.
I think racism depends on many things, mainly related to your (as in 'one', not 'you') upbringing and education. And then maybe experiences of differences, perhaps? Mine have mostly been very positive.
I think racism depends on many things, mainly related to your (as in 'one', not 'you') upbringing and education. And then maybe experiences of differences, perhaps? Mine have mostly been very positive.
)Anyway, referring back to my daugher she not really racists she had a coloured boyfriend, its was meant in the senario of things "i.,e. really she doesnt wanna go back cos of this that and the other!!! (You know what kids are like )
I shall leave it there, cos its very hard to explain in type and I dont for one wanna offend anyone, I was just saying about teenagers and life
Jul 4th 2007, 9:30 pm
#39
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Re: moving back daughter does not want to go
Why not try a more practical approach......
Sit down with her and work out her finances etc, in the event of her staying in Oz. Get her to look at it in a practical perspective. Cost of living etc...her future....where does she plan to stay if she remains in Oz... bla .... bla ... bla
If she shows that she has thought about her future as an adult and feels she would managage then why force her to come. I do agree with all the other posts saying you should stay to get your citizenship. It only seems fair concidering you decided to move to Oz in the first place. I'm sure one of those reasons being a better life for the kids etc... obviously your daughter thinks she has a better life in Oz so in reality you did the right thing moving.
If you support her in her plans to stay then maybe she wouldn't feel so pressured and be more open for compromise. Like someone said in a previous post, at 16yrs she will be moving out in a couple of years anyway, why not meet her half way and stay till you get your citezenship. If your coming back because you don't like were your living why not try living somewhere else in Oz.
These are only suggestions, and I'm sure you will find a way to resolve this matter so you can all be happy. It's important to remember that your daughter is nearly an adult and she will respect you a whole lot more in the long run if she feels listened to and understood. If she stays in Oz and it doesn't work out for her she could come back to the Uk. She will respect you a whole lot more for letting her make her own desision. (as long as there is no 'Told you so').
Good luck
Sit down with her and work out her finances etc, in the event of her staying in Oz. Get her to look at it in a practical perspective. Cost of living etc...her future....where does she plan to stay if she remains in Oz... bla .... bla ... bla
If she shows that she has thought about her future as an adult and feels she would managage then why force her to come. I do agree with all the other posts saying you should stay to get your citizenship. It only seems fair concidering you decided to move to Oz in the first place. I'm sure one of those reasons being a better life for the kids etc... obviously your daughter thinks she has a better life in Oz so in reality you did the right thing moving.
If you support her in her plans to stay then maybe she wouldn't feel so pressured and be more open for compromise. Like someone said in a previous post, at 16yrs she will be moving out in a couple of years anyway, why not meet her half way and stay till you get your citezenship. If your coming back because you don't like were your living why not try living somewhere else in Oz.
These are only suggestions, and I'm sure you will find a way to resolve this matter so you can all be happy. It's important to remember that your daughter is nearly an adult and she will respect you a whole lot more in the long run if she feels listened to and understood. If she stays in Oz and it doesn't work out for her she could come back to the Uk. She will respect you a whole lot more for letting her make her own desision. (as long as there is no 'Told you so').
Good luck
Jul 6th 2007, 10:22 am
#40
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Re: moving back daughter does not want to go
