Making A Final Decision
Dec 12th 2011, 8:13 pm
#31
Just Joined
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 16
Re: Making A Final Decision
Hi Guys,
Am back at the point where I need to decide if I want to stay in Oz but just cant make my mind up as its like a pendulum. Staying in Oz professionally and financially is the sensible option. Well paid, lots of opportunities and able to save a lot of money. However like others I feel like a square peg in a round hole. Hate having to repeat myself all the time due to the Scottish accent, Hate having the feeling of not belonging and worried about living here in the long term alone with out family and the security of things in the UK.
Love Oz for the lifestyle, work and weather.....is it enough?
Not sure I really miss home or family to be honest. However I know when I am at home am happy with my lot in life. In Oz I still check the local news, BBc news, think about home. However am getting to the age where I want to settle, buy a house etc. But I keep wondering if I will regret going back to Scotland and settling there. The other factor is I still have my job back in Scotland and well if I give it up, I dont see any jobs in my speciality coming up for good five years due to the GEC.
I kind of thing I should go home, settle and if after a few years am feeling dissatisfied at home, I can always return to Oz. So people any advice to make my decision final. You experience would be great.
Regards
Scottie x
Am back at the point where I need to decide if I want to stay in Oz but just cant make my mind up as its like a pendulum. Staying in Oz professionally and financially is the sensible option. Well paid, lots of opportunities and able to save a lot of money. However like others I feel like a square peg in a round hole. Hate having to repeat myself all the time due to the Scottish accent, Hate having the feeling of not belonging and worried about living here in the long term alone with out family and the security of things in the UK.
Love Oz for the lifestyle, work and weather.....is it enough?
Not sure I really miss home or family to be honest. However I know when I am at home am happy with my lot in life. In Oz I still check the local news, BBc news, think about home. However am getting to the age where I want to settle, buy a house etc. But I keep wondering if I will regret going back to Scotland and settling there. The other factor is I still have my job back in Scotland and well if I give it up, I dont see any jobs in my speciality coming up for good five years due to the GEC.
I kind of thing I should go home, settle and if after a few years am feeling dissatisfied at home, I can always return to Oz. So people any advice to make my decision final. You experience would be great.
Regards
Scottie x
Hi Scott,
I have returned to the UK just over three months ago, after 17 years of living overseas, I felt the same as you do now, but in the end I decided that if I didn't try I would never know! On hindsight I should have stayed where I was, I had a good job, friends, nice weather an easier way of life. None of which I have back here! I thought that it would be nice to be near family, hook back up with old friends, make new ones, find a great job! But its not like that when you get here. I would say to you if you are happy where you are the majority of the time, then stay where you are, if you have a good job, friends etc, then don't rush back! Maybe look at returning when you really can't stand it anymore.
Good Luck!
Dec 12th 2011, 10:31 pm
#32
Finally Home!
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Used to be New York, now North Yorkshire
Posts: 3,610
Re: Making A Final Decision
For me a job isn't an issue and all my friends are in the UK. I am leaving behind a nice house and sunshine but you can't live on those things. I need to be back with my friends and family and luckily we are still close.
I think everyone has to analyze the pluses and minuses - with a REALISTIC perspective on how things will be - and only make the move if it makes sense.
And one of the most important things to consider is whether you have fully thought through the upheaval you're about to experience. No, you won't easily walk into a great job. And no, your friends won't be just as you left them. You'll have to work at building a life and it will take 2-3 years before you really feel things are back on an even keel. If you're not prepared to work at it and give it a good long time, don't go back. Because you'll just cost yourself a lot of money!
Dec 14th 2011, 7:52 pm
#33
Sidecar Falcon
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,504
Re: Making A Final Decision
I wouldn't take that as given. All countries have the same problem -- people living longer and fewer younger workers to pay for their pensions. Most pension plans are not fund based -- ie the money we pay each month goes into investments that eventually pay the pension. Instead they're pyramid plans where those working pay the pensions of the retired. There used to be many workers for each retiree, but now it's few.
I don't see how places like Australia, the US, and Canada can avoid going the same way.
Bev
I don't see how places like Australia, the US, and Canada can avoid going the same way.
Bev
Last edited by DigitalGhost; Dec 14th 2011 at 7:55 pm.
Dec 14th 2011, 7:54 pm
#34
Sidecar Falcon
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,504
Re: Making A Final Decision
This is a decision that we are just going through at the moment though, we have been in Canada for nearly a year now but I definitely feel like a bit of a square peg even though I managed to find a pretty decent job with almost no difficulty which actually pays more than I earned back at home.
My OH on the other hand hates it here and pines for Europe again, even though she was the one who was pushing for us to move out here in the first place.
My OH on the other hand hates it here and pines for Europe again, even though she was the one who was pushing for us to move out here in the first place.
Dec 15th 2011, 2:59 am
#35
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2010
Location: The sunshine state
Posts: 1,358
Re: Making A Final Decision
Have you ever lived abroad for any length of time? I suspect not because if you had, you would understand what people mean and not be so quick to dismiss peoples' feelings just because you can't imagine them.
For me here in the US, feeling like an outsider is ...
Those are just a few and I'm sure everyone has their own list, but the point is that it's not something you can understand until you've spent a few years in another country. For some people, their new lives are so enjoyable that the good outweighs the things they miss. But for some of us, it's not that way - especially as you get older and your priorities change.
As for the UK having "gone down the swanee," that's not the experience of either my friends or my family members, so perhaps it all depends on where you live and how you look at life
For me here in the US, feeling like an outsider is ...
- Sitting around like piffy while people talk passionately about American football when you think it's the stupidest thing you've ever seen.
- Having random strangers say "I'll pray for you" any time something bad happens instead of "sorry to hear that, mate."
- Making a sarky joke and then realizing everyone thought you were being cruel.
- Watching a Republican Presidential debate for more than 1 minute and wondering if the whole place has gone mad.
- Living in a country where the governor of a major state thinks an appropriate response to a drought is a "national day of prayer."
- Seeing people carry guns as if they were toys.
- Smiling politely and pretending that you think Saturday Night Live is even remotely amusing.
- Sitting around with work colleagues talking about 'the good old days' and realizing you don't share any experiences or memories.
- Trying to make friends - and sometimes succeeding - but never quite connecting all the way.
- Talking to people who think it's perfectly reasonable to have fighter jets fly over every time the national anthem is sung at a sports event.
- Watching the world cup but then having no one to discuss it with afterwards.
- Wanting fish and chips and only being able to get McDonalds or Wendy's
- Asking for a cup of tea and getting some weak brown water with a slice of lemon
- Having every stranger who meets you think you love the royal family (or know them personally!) just because you're a Brit
Those are just a few and I'm sure everyone has their own list, but the point is that it's not something you can understand until you've spent a few years in another country. For some people, their new lives are so enjoyable that the good outweighs the things they miss. But for some of us, it's not that way - especially as you get older and your priorities change.
As for the UK having "gone down the swanee," that's not the experience of either my friends or my family members, so perhaps it all depends on where you live and how you look at life
Going into a pub and trying to have a conversation and fighting with the distraction of a score of televisions.
Trying to lip sync the pledge of allegiance or the national anthem at meetings /sporting events. aka John Redwood and the welsh national anthem.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIwBvjoLyZc
Dec 20th 2011, 2:56 pm
#36
Just Joined
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 9
Re: Making A Final Decision
It is not easy making that decision to want to go back to where you call home.
I have been in Sydney now for 13 years and have reached a stage where I have decided to move back to the UK. I have based this on the fact that I am getting old (46) and miss people back in the UK.
I have a nice lifestyle here, very nice, but I find that I am working to save up to travel back to the UK each year to see everyone and that all my holidays are dedicated to going back to see family and friends.
I too face the trauma on a daily basis of asking if I am doing the right thing. I worry about finding a job, somewhere to live and if I will be able to fit back into a UK lifestyle. Here in Sydney I have security, an apartment, and as I say a nice lifestyle, but what worries me is that as I do get older I worry about how I will be able to continue to save and travel back and forth. Apart from my English partner here we have no family.
Our decision to move back now is based on us being in our late 40's and feeling that if we are to find work then we need to do it now while we are young enough to do it and not to leave it until we are too old and harder to find work. But of course work is not going to be easy to find in the current climate. And yes, that frightens me. But each year we put it off we get older and the prospect of returning seems harder to do.
So I guess the moral is to work out why you want to go back and to really thrash it out. Our friends here do not want us to go and it is going to be hard to leave them behind, but we really do find it hard to see us retiring here.
It is odd because when we first arrived it took a couple of years to settle. We would only go back to the UK every three years. Now it is every year. And each time we do we love it. Of course holidays are not the same as living there but there is always that homely feel about it. But moving back was never a thought then.
I have been in Sydney now for 13 years and have reached a stage where I have decided to move back to the UK. I have based this on the fact that I am getting old (46) and miss people back in the UK.
I have a nice lifestyle here, very nice, but I find that I am working to save up to travel back to the UK each year to see everyone and that all my holidays are dedicated to going back to see family and friends.
I too face the trauma on a daily basis of asking if I am doing the right thing. I worry about finding a job, somewhere to live and if I will be able to fit back into a UK lifestyle. Here in Sydney I have security, an apartment, and as I say a nice lifestyle, but what worries me is that as I do get older I worry about how I will be able to continue to save and travel back and forth. Apart from my English partner here we have no family.
Our decision to move back now is based on us being in our late 40's and feeling that if we are to find work then we need to do it now while we are young enough to do it and not to leave it until we are too old and harder to find work. But of course work is not going to be easy to find in the current climate. And yes, that frightens me. But each year we put it off we get older and the prospect of returning seems harder to do.
So I guess the moral is to work out why you want to go back and to really thrash it out. Our friends here do not want us to go and it is going to be hard to leave them behind, but we really do find it hard to see us retiring here.
It is odd because when we first arrived it took a couple of years to settle. We would only go back to the UK every three years. Now it is every year. And each time we do we love it. Of course holidays are not the same as living there but there is always that homely feel about it. But moving back was never a thought then.
Dec 24th 2011, 12:29 am
#37
Practical Paramedic
Joined: Dec 2011
Location: The Beautiful South, UK
Posts: 931
Re: Making A Final Decision
I too am at that stage and wondering whether to stay or go. Been in Oz for nearly 4 years now and just waiting to apply for citizenship in a few months.
I went back to the UK a few months ago and it nearly killed me to return here, I cried all the way back. Like a lot of people here I am close to my family and my parents aren't getting any younger.
The health system in Oz worries me a lot, if I got ill or injured I would probably struggle. In the UK I'd be entitled to 6 months with full pay and 6 months at half pay, here in Oz I have to EARN my sick leave and its only 90 hours a year. Sometimes when I have been ill like had a chest infection or a migraine I've gone into work anyways as I don't want to 'waste' my sick leave.
I would give up a nice house and great weather but I own my own property in the UK, I'd be near my family and, as I have taken a 5 year sabbatical from my job, I'd have that to go back to. I preferred my job in the UK as well, here I hate my arrogant rude Aussie boss who just loves to put me down all the time both personally and professionally on a daily basis and, of course, if I fight back I get "well go back home ya whinging Pom" - nice!
I have decided to leave it up to the Gods for now. I have put in for a another job but it is a long drawn out process and I am applying for citizenship in March. Whatever comes through first I will take but its my 4th Xmas here alone and I am pretty much over it. Good luck with your decision but like others have said before, nothing is permanent, you can always come back if you feel you have made a mistake!
I went back to the UK a few months ago and it nearly killed me to return here, I cried all the way back. Like a lot of people here I am close to my family and my parents aren't getting any younger.
The health system in Oz worries me a lot, if I got ill or injured I would probably struggle. In the UK I'd be entitled to 6 months with full pay and 6 months at half pay, here in Oz I have to EARN my sick leave and its only 90 hours a year. Sometimes when I have been ill like had a chest infection or a migraine I've gone into work anyways as I don't want to 'waste' my sick leave.
I would give up a nice house and great weather but I own my own property in the UK, I'd be near my family and, as I have taken a 5 year sabbatical from my job, I'd have that to go back to. I preferred my job in the UK as well, here I hate my arrogant rude Aussie boss who just loves to put me down all the time both personally and professionally on a daily basis and, of course, if I fight back I get "well go back home ya whinging Pom" - nice!
I have decided to leave it up to the Gods for now. I have put in for a another job but it is a long drawn out process and I am applying for citizenship in March. Whatever comes through first I will take but its my 4th Xmas here alone and I am pretty much over it. Good luck with your decision but like others have said before, nothing is permanent, you can always come back if you feel you have made a mistake!
Dec 24th 2011, 12:35 pm
#38
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Lincolnshire
Posts: 291
Re: Making A Final Decision
I have been in Canada three years and am giving it another year before a final decision. I can apply for citizenship next month and will probably put in an application because I am trying to keep my options open although I am leaning towards a return.
I still have a house in the UK which is rented out and I still have a bank and credit card accounts; I receive a local government pension which will cover the essentials of daily living, if I am careful.
Finding work has been tough for me here; I was laid off in April and after 6 months managed to find another job - I had to return to office/clerical work to get anything at all.
I haven't made that many new friends and find it hard to connect with people - they all seem to have their own social circles with friends and family. In England I had moved around a fair bit with work and made a number of friends along the way not just from work but by joining in local groups.
For me, there are just not sufficient anchors here at the moment to keep me, so I am thinking of returning in Spring 2013, when I can hopefully afford to return (with 4 animals this time - OMG and I promised the cat she would never have to fly again!). I miss my friends and I know it may take time to find work in the UK, but the longer I leave it, the harder it will be to establish myself again.
Like a previous poster, I could not see myself retired here ...
I have had some great experiences and if I hadn't emigrated, I would have had regrets, because it was something I always wanted to do.
There is no shame in trying something new and deciding 'it's not for me' - it takes guts and determination to uproot yourself and move to a new country, so for anyone considering returning home, hold your head up high. You gave it a shot!
I still have a house in the UK which is rented out and I still have a bank and credit card accounts; I receive a local government pension which will cover the essentials of daily living, if I am careful.
Finding work has been tough for me here; I was laid off in April and after 6 months managed to find another job - I had to return to office/clerical work to get anything at all.
I haven't made that many new friends and find it hard to connect with people - they all seem to have their own social circles with friends and family. In England I had moved around a fair bit with work and made a number of friends along the way not just from work but by joining in local groups.
For me, there are just not sufficient anchors here at the moment to keep me, so I am thinking of returning in Spring 2013, when I can hopefully afford to return (with 4 animals this time - OMG and I promised the cat she would never have to fly again!). I miss my friends and I know it may take time to find work in the UK, but the longer I leave it, the harder it will be to establish myself again.
Like a previous poster, I could not see myself retired here ...
I have had some great experiences and if I hadn't emigrated, I would have had regrets, because it was something I always wanted to do.
There is no shame in trying something new and deciding 'it's not for me' - it takes guts and determination to uproot yourself and move to a new country, so for anyone considering returning home, hold your head up high. You gave it a shot!
Dec 25th 2011, 1:22 am
#39
Practical Paramedic
Joined: Dec 2011
Location: The Beautiful South, UK
Posts: 931
Re: Making A Final Decision
I have been in Canada three years and am giving it another year before a final decision. I can apply for citizenship next month and will probably put in an application because I am trying to keep my options open although I am leaning towards a return.
I still have a house in the UK which is rented out and I still have a bank and credit card accounts; I receive a local government pension which will cover the essentials of daily living, if I am careful.
Finding work has been tough for me here; I was laid off in April and after 6 months managed to find another job - I had to return to office/clerical work to get anything at all.
I haven't made that many new friends and find it hard to connect with people - they all seem to have their own social circles with friends and family. In England I had moved around a fair bit with work and made a number of friends along the way not just from work but by joining in local groups.
For me, there are just not sufficient anchors here at the moment to keep me, so I am thinking of returning in Spring 2013, when I can hopefully afford to return (with 4 animals this time - OMG and I promised the cat she would never have to fly again!). I miss my friends and I know it may take time to find work in the UK, but the longer I leave it, the harder it will be to establish myself again.
Like a previous poster, I could not see myself retired here ...
I have had some great experiences and if I hadn't emigrated, I would have had regrets, because it was something I always wanted to do.
There is no shame in trying something new and deciding 'it's not for me' - it takes guts and determination to uproot yourself and move to a new country, so for anyone considering returning home, hold your head up high. You gave it a shot!
I still have a house in the UK which is rented out and I still have a bank and credit card accounts; I receive a local government pension which will cover the essentials of daily living, if I am careful.
Finding work has been tough for me here; I was laid off in April and after 6 months managed to find another job - I had to return to office/clerical work to get anything at all.
I haven't made that many new friends and find it hard to connect with people - they all seem to have their own social circles with friends and family. In England I had moved around a fair bit with work and made a number of friends along the way not just from work but by joining in local groups.
For me, there are just not sufficient anchors here at the moment to keep me, so I am thinking of returning in Spring 2013, when I can hopefully afford to return (with 4 animals this time - OMG and I promised the cat she would never have to fly again!). I miss my friends and I know it may take time to find work in the UK, but the longer I leave it, the harder it will be to establish myself again.
Like a previous poster, I could not see myself retired here ...
I have had some great experiences and if I hadn't emigrated, I would have had regrets, because it was something I always wanted to do.
There is no shame in trying something new and deciding 'it's not for me' - it takes guts and determination to uproot yourself and move to a new country, so for anyone considering returning home, hold your head up high. You gave it a shot!
I have to say I always wanted to live in Australia but now I find I have more of an appreciation for my own country. My family and friends, the sense of humour of the British, health care, NHS dentists/doctors, cheap holidays, great shops and being treated decently at work for starters, all the things I took for granted before. I used to hold Aussies in such high regard but I certainly do not now. I have made a few awesome friends who I am sure I will stay in touch with once I leave. Hope things work out for you, we sound like we are both in the same boat!!!
Dec 26th 2011, 5:11 pm
#40
Edi-Tsv-Bne-Edi-Bne-?
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 264
Re: Making A Final Decision
I relate so much to a lot of what people are saying here. Am just so torn. Ive got holidays booked back to the UK in Feburary and a one way ticket. So I either make that my move back and slot back into my old life back in Scotland. Or slog it out for a few more years and see what I really want in life. I suppose both have positives and disadvantages.
If I give it another few years in Oz I should really know what I want I suppose. Say if I stay another three years I would have saved a good $80K, studied more in my profession gained more post-grad qualifications and I suppose and hope the situation in Europe is in a better place.
Sometimes I think I just need to man it up and stay in Oz and I think not making a decision is also what is making me unsettled. Who knows hehe! Someone toss a coin for me :-)
If I give it another few years in Oz I should really know what I want I suppose. Say if I stay another three years I would have saved a good $80K, studied more in my profession gained more post-grad qualifications and I suppose and hope the situation in Europe is in a better place.
Sometimes I think I just need to man it up and stay in Oz and I think not making a decision is also what is making me unsettled. Who knows hehe! Someone toss a coin for me :-)
Dec 27th 2011, 12:05 am
#41
Just Joined
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 3
Re: Making A Final Decision
ok i to need to make a final decision on if to move back to the uk, my problem is a bit different to others on here in that i have been living in new zealand for the last 12 years and have a child to a new zealander. it will be a court battle to be able to take my child with me as child's father is a new zealander. although he only sees him the minimal he has to which is 3 hours a week and then every other weekend for 1 night (when it suits him) all my family our in the uk so i have no help what so ever. i miss my family heaps. i have on the surface a good life here in new zealand, have managed to buy my own house 2 years ago and i dont think i would be able to afford one in the uk so would have to go back to renting,houses our small in the uk with bugger all gardens anless you can afford rocket rents which i dont think we would be able to. i have a good job here were i work from home but wonder if i would be able to do this in the uk, i also have leukemia and am on a heap of drugs so not sure if i would be able to get my medications back in the uk funded for me as i do here in new Zealand, i get sick a fair amount so having my family there would be such a great help. i wont to do the right thing by my child to, so would it be fair on a nearly 7 year old to relocate so far away from everything they have ever known and from there father?? do i give up everything (house and lifestyle) so i can be closer to my family. with the unknown of a job and house??? has anyone else been in this situation with a child and heath issues??? if it was just me i would be gone but i need to do the right thing by my child , do i stay in a country with no help and family so my child can see there father on a regular basis or give everything up and go back to square one with a child at the age of 32???
Dec 27th 2011, 3:43 am
#42
Just Joined
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 9
Re: Making A Final Decision
clairerowe. A very difficult situation. One that no one can really tell you what to do. I know a girl who married an aussie, has a child to them and she wants to go back to Ireland (she is Irish). Problem is she is married to the Australian and going through a divorce. He has equal rights to the child and so it is this dilemma which stops the mum going back to Ireland. She has to wait until the child is 16 I think and can make their own decision to go with mum or dad - the child lives with the mum.
Dec 27th 2011, 3:45 am
#43
Just Joined
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 9
Re: Making A Final Decision
I relate so much to a lot of what people are saying here. Am just so torn. Ive got holidays booked back to the UK in Feburary and a one way ticket. So I either make that my move back and slot back into my old life back in Scotland. Or slog it out for a few more years and see what I really want in life. I suppose both have positives and disadvantages.
If I give it another few years in Oz I should really know what I want I suppose. Say if I stay another three years I would have saved a good $80K, studied more in my profession gained more post-grad qualifications and I suppose and hope the situation in Europe is in a better place.
Sometimes I think I just need to man it up and stay in Oz and I think not making a decision is also what is making me unsettled. Who knows hehe! Someone toss a coin for me :-)
If I give it another few years in Oz I should really know what I want I suppose. Say if I stay another three years I would have saved a good $80K, studied more in my profession gained more post-grad qualifications and I suppose and hope the situation in Europe is in a better place.
Sometimes I think I just need to man it up and stay in Oz and I think not making a decision is also what is making me unsettled. Who knows hehe! Someone toss a coin for me :-)
Dec 27th 2011, 12:42 pm
#44
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Lincolnshire
Posts: 291
Re: Making A Final Decision
Miss Betty -- thanks for your posting. Sometimes I have got depressed thinking it must be me.
Fejaouk - listen to your heart - health and happiness is more important than money; it seems as if you are really drawn to going back to the uk,
Clairerowe - sorry to hear your difficult situation - can you do some research into job prospects, cost of meds being covered in the UK, etc. to help you maie that decision?
I got a quote from the removal company I used to move out here to give me an idea of the costs of moving back in October 2012 .... as I am going to send back less than I brought out, it works out at 4,200 pounds door to door from here to Lincolnshire. I was thinking it could be much more ... so now I am going to review my finances in July and the housing market here and see if it is doable.
Although my initial thoughts were to delay till 2013, to save more money, I am now thinking that I would prefer moving sooner rather than later - and live with the financial hit.
So I am cutting my expenditure to save, save, save!
Fejaouk - listen to your heart - health and happiness is more important than money; it seems as if you are really drawn to going back to the uk,
Clairerowe - sorry to hear your difficult situation - can you do some research into job prospects, cost of meds being covered in the UK, etc. to help you maie that decision?
I got a quote from the removal company I used to move out here to give me an idea of the costs of moving back in October 2012 .... as I am going to send back less than I brought out, it works out at 4,200 pounds door to door from here to Lincolnshire. I was thinking it could be much more ... so now I am going to review my finances in July and the housing market here and see if it is doable.
Although my initial thoughts were to delay till 2013, to save more money, I am now thinking that I would prefer moving sooner rather than later - and live with the financial hit.
So I am cutting my expenditure to save, save, save!
Dec 27th 2011, 7:20 pm
#45
Just Joined
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 22
Re: Making A Final Decision
Well, I've been back in Brighton, UK now for just over 6 weeks and am realizing how drab, cold, gloomy and grey it all is. Funny how you forget when you are away, well I did anyway! Was living in Melbourne however, even that didn't do it for me. IMO Melbourne has it's nice parts but once away from the nice parts then Melbourne is pretty grotty too. The only thing that I really miss about Melbourne is the weather and uncrowded malls. So where to from here, especially as hubby and myself are in out 50's. Don't feel as we belong here or Melbourne, will have to sit it out a while and see.