Re: Making A Final Decision
 

ok i to need to make a final decision on if to move back to the uk, my problem is a bit different to others on here in that i have been living in new zealand for the last 12 years and have a child to a new zealander. it will be a court battle to be able to take my child with me as child's father is a new zealander. although he only sees him the minimal he has to which is 3 hours a week and then every other weekend for 1 night (when it suits him) all my family our in the uk so i have no help what so ever. i miss my family heaps. i have on the surface a good life here in new zealand, have managed to buy my own house 2 years ago and i dont think i would be able to afford one in the uk so would have to go back to renting,houses our small in the uk with bugger all gardens anless you can afford rocket rents which i dont think we would be able to. i have a good job here were i work from home but wonder if i would be able to do this in the uk, i also have leukemia and am on a heap of drugs so not sure if i would be able to get my medications back in the uk funded for me as i do here in new Zealand, i get sick a fair amount so having my family there would be such a great help. i wont to do the right thing by my child to, so would it be fair on a nearly 7 year old to relocate so far away from everything they have ever known and from there father?? do i give up everything (house and lifestyle) so i can be closer to my family. with the unknown of a job and house??? has anyone else been in this situation with a child and heath issues??? if it was just me i would be gone but i need to do the right thing by my child , do i stay in a country with no help and family so my child can see there father on a regular basis or give everything up and go back to square one with a child at the age of 32???

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

clairerowe. A very difficult situation. One that no one can really tell you what to do. I know a girl who married an aussie, has a child to them and she wants to go back to Ireland (she is Irish). Problem is she is married to the Australian and going through a divorce. He has equal rights to the child and so it is this dilemma which stops the mum going back to Ireland. She has to wait until the child is 16 I think and can make their own decision to go with mum or dad - the child lives with the mum.

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

Difficult decision. Age is a factor. Education and experience is another factor. If you are young, can stick it out then perhaps staying is a good step to further oneself. However if the need to go back is strong then follow what you feel is best. Again, it is a decision that only you can make. Weigh up both sides and see which one falls in your favour.

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

Miss Betty -- thanks for your posting. Sometimes I have got depressed thinking it must be me.

Fejaouk - listen to your heart - health and happiness is more important than money; it seems as if you are really drawn to going back to the uk,

Clairerowe - sorry to hear your difficult situation - can you do some research into job prospects, cost of meds being covered in the UK, etc. to help you maie that decision?

I got a quote from the removal company I used to move out here to give me an idea of the costs of moving back in October 2012 .... as I am going to send back less than I brought out, it works out at 4,200 pounds door to door from here to Lincolnshire. I was thinking it could be much more ... so now I am going to review my finances in July and the housing market here and see if it is doable.

Although my initial thoughts were to delay till 2013, to save more money, I am now thinking that I would prefer moving sooner rather than later - and live with the financial hit.

So I am cutting my expenditure to save, save, save!

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

Well, I've been back in Brighton, UK now for just over 6 weeks and am realizing how drab, cold, gloomy and grey it all is. Funny how you forget when you are away, well I did anyway! Was living in Melbourne however, even that didn't do it for me. IMO Melbourne has it's nice parts but once away from the nice parts then Melbourne is pretty grotty too. The only thing that I really miss about Melbourne is the weather and uncrowded malls. So where to from here, especially as hubby and myself are in out 50's. Don't feel as we belong here or Melbourne, will have to sit it out a while and see.

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

You've come home in the dullest time of year for weather/light, so I don't think you can assess much from that. Give it 6 months. A cheap week in southern Europe might perk you up, or there's SAD lights.

Bev

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

Yes Bevm you are right I know but it's so gloomy here and for so many months every year. I forgot just how gloomy and cold it was. Daft because I have lived in the UK for 46.5 years before I left. Maybe I am having memory problems as I'm getting older!

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

I forget every year just how miserable it can get - I'm looking out at gale force winds so strong that they are blowing the streams on the mountains backwards (I kid you not). It's also absolutely pelting it down (or more accurately, sideways). Time to take the dog for her walk. :eek:

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

It's the same here in Nova Scotia today :(
Short days and long nights, I always get depressed this time of year.

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

You ask "where to from here" but you've only been back 6 weeks. Isn't it a little soon to be thinking about leaving again?

I've lived in quite a few places now and what I've learned is that they all have positives and negatives. I think the secret to happiness is choosing a place, committing to it, appreciating the good things, and doing what you can to minimize the impact of the bad. That said, it must be very hard to leave the sunshine of Australia and arrive in the middle of a British winter. Like you said, just ride it out and give yourself time to settle in.

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

I notice you say you have moved BACK........

This is something I chose not to do, even though all my family live "there" I decided there must be a reason I left in the first place, now I am living "here" - how about giving another part of this beautiful country a go?? :thumbsup:

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

This is such an interesting post. I've been living in nz for the last 3 odd years and I have had many many moments of severe homesickness. This year alone I have had 3 different times where I could have easily just got on the plane and returned. I really hope you find what you are looking for. To me you sound a little lost. Like someone said, sometimes we over think things. I sure do.

I also want to return home. We came here because the recession kicked in and wanted a better life. I always figured that if we didnt like it we could always go back home. Now after lots of research I dont actually think we can because the climate is so bad and we have things ok here. Only a fool would give up a job and go to a country where there are hardly any. I am going to ride it out for another year and see how I feel.

Like someone also said tho - 'what is it that actually made us all leave in the first place'? It takes a certain type of person to up sticks and leave. Who can be sure we will actually ever settle anywhere?

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

I think you have to remember that there is 7% unemployment in the UK, not 90%. Just because the papers are full of doom and gloom, it's easy to forget that most people have jobs.

Nothing worth having comes easy. If you are unhappy and don't do anything about it out of fear, I think that's a sad thing.

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Exactly. A person would need a good bit of savings to ride out long-term unemployment.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-16342072

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This is our problem too Humphrey. Hubby and I lived in Melbourne, I hated it, Hubby was indifferent. We left to come back to the UK in 2008. We live in a lovely village now and have made lots of friends here and the schools are of a really high standard BUT.....

We now have a 10 week old baby and I wonder whether she would have a better quality of life in Perth, even though we went back to Perth before we left Melbourne and had gone off it a bit, even though they had a drought whilst we were there so it was like a furness, even though there is a hole in the ozone layer so she would have to wear suncream ALL the time, even though when you live in Oz you can't easy go on holiday to anywhere else in the world because everywhere is so far away.

I have now started thinking daily about whether we should go back, I think I have rose tinted glasses on :)

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Maybe you should watch a couple of episodes of Wanted Down Under, and that will bring you back to your senses. ;)

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It doesn't sound like they are all that rose-tinted - you just made Perth sound horrible!

Why would you leave a 'lovely' village with lots of friends and a great school to go somewhere it doesn't sound as if you like very much? That's not a snarky question btw - I'm genuinely interested.

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

I thought exactly the same! :lol:

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I'm not english, I'm irish so thats home for me. Ireland is in a worse state of affairs than the uk. I am mostly biding time because the house prices are dropping constantly and if we wait another year or 18 months I'm pretty certain we will be mortgage free and that in itself would be well worth the wait. I would prefer to go back to a country in recovery. At the moment its not anywhere near recover. I agree with you tho, nothing worth having comes easy, so true. I am not exactly unhappy and I do feel that I am doing something about it. Whats one more year in the grand scheme of things? It will take me that long to wrap up our life here and plan our return home. If things are still bad, my husband may well have to go to work in the uk, which is where alot of our friends are now. Thanks for you imput.

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Yes it did sound like that didn't it :) hence my madness/confusion even more so then. I think it's just the weather I want really, guaranteed sunshine in the summer.

However I also want guaranteed winter snow.

Grass is always greener and all that. To be fair to Perth it is my favourite place in Oz, it just looked a bit tired when we went back as a few shops in the city had closed etc.

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

I, too, am curious about this better quality of life. You seem to have an excellent quality of life and everything to offer your chilid. There are certainly people stuck in bad situations who can imagine a better life for their children in a new country -- though many of those would find it hard to be accepted as an immigrant these days. But if it's a good life, I think the notion that New World countries offer better quality of life for children is an myth.

Bev

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

Moggiemiss - can totally relate to everything you said, people already having their social networks in place (in Canada - we are in Calgary) has been one of the major obstacles for us too.

However, at the moment it's not a case of if we return to the UK, but when....

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

I must admit it is nice to know I'm not alone in the should I shouldn't I atm!

MoggieMiss - You are welcome! I have some good friends now but it did take time and I will always miss my UK friends. I was just a bit taken aback at how it felt like being the new girl at high school all over again ha ha!!!

HunnyBunny - Good point on do people like us ever really settle? My Dad is Irish and as a child I lived in the Uk/Australia/Ireland and NZ - I blame him lol!

SallySimmons - Yes the cost of moving - arrghhh! My company paid to move me here so I would have to do some hard saving to go back to the UK but then I keep thinking "what if I am making a mistake?" also the stress of moving all over again is so daunting. I have a permanent position now but I have moved 5 times now in 4 years due to my job and I feel sick about doing it AGAIN - sigh!

HumphreyDoodle - I am from Brighton funnily enough and I really miss it! I'd forgotten how miserable the weather can be though as I only go back in the summer..................

Well things are a bit better today for me. My nice boss has given me the heads up that my mean boss is applying for other jobs so that would really make a difference to me. Like Fajaouk and Ozboyz I do have a nice lifestyle here and I earn double what I would in the UK so maybe I should stick it out for another year, save like mad and see how things go? Also now Xmas/New Year is over my spirits have lifted quite a bit as things get back to normal - phew. I think the worst thing is wrestling with the whole 'what should I do FFS?' question - it drives me MAD. Just to end on a funny note, I'm a paramedic and I worked NYE and we got flogged all night. Returning to station with my crewmate completed exhausted, after a night of picking up drunks and being abused, we drove along the beachside as the sun came up adn turned the radion on. The first song I heard playing in 2012? The Clash. 'Should I Stay or Should I Go?' I'm not kidding. Needless to say we both cracked up laughing ha ha ha!!!!!!! Well I shall keep reading and hopefully we all make good decisions at the end of the day - happy new year to you all! :)

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But, but, that only happens in the UK! :rofl:

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PMSL!!!! If only! :lol:

Re: Making A Final Decision
 

I don't have to make the decision to stay or go, as I know I am returning home next year now:-) Even though I still have days when I regret even coming here.

But I think it has more to do with how I am feeling that day. My quality of life is very similar to back home, so that has nothing to do with it. If Im having a good day, I think to myself - best thing I ever did, shame we only have 18 months left. On a bad day - god I wish we had never come, worst country in the world!

I also know when I had bad days at home my reaction was - if only we lived somewhere else.

Enjoying things has more to do with who you have around you and how you are feeling. I've taken my children to Disneyland in Florida and they had a good time, but I've also seen them having the time of their lives, in our old back garden in a paddling pool costings £9.99.

Logically I know, how I feel has more to do with me that the country I live in, but that doesn't help on the days I hate it here:unsure:

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18 months for me too :thumbsup: