Knowing you are ready to return to the UK
Mar 15th 2007, 1:09 pm
#16
In the pink
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 3,324
Re: Knowing you are ready to return to the UK
Pay your NI contributions, then you don't have to worry about that.
Get off the internet, and stop chatting with people about homesickness, etc.
Go outside and plant fruit and veg.
Sit in the sun, and enjoy your LOVELY life.
Get off the internet, and stop chatting with people about homesickness, etc.
Go outside and plant fruit and veg.
Sit in the sun, and enjoy your LOVELY life.
Mar 15th 2007, 2:02 pm
#17
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: UK-France-UK-France
Posts: 242
Re: Knowing you are ready to return to the UK
Hi Mallory
Damn good adivce.
We have bought seeds to plant and needed a nudge to get on with it and then you came along.
The sun is shinning and I am off outside.
Thank you
Damn good adivce.
We have bought seeds to plant and needed a nudge to get on with it and then you came along.
The sun is shinning and I am off outside.
Thank you
Mar 16th 2007, 7:50 pm
#18
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Northern Virginia USA
Posts: 405
Re: Knowing you are ready to return to the UK
Hi,
I am living in France, I came here 18 months ago with my husband and 3 children.
So far so good, the children settled well and are now speaking french.
The eldest is 15 she has her first boyfriend and lots of friends.
My husband has casual work but nothing permanent.
We have found our dream home and are not unhappy.
But is doesn't seem to be enough, we are homesick for england, it only started about 4 to 6 weeks ago. I think until that point we were just pushing any niggly doubts out of our minds because we didn't want to burst the bubble.
We are missing family, friends, shops etc.
It is like we have stepped out of the real world and are in this parallel universe.
We escaped all the financial pressures of council tax etc, My husband left a job that he hated in England, we now have very low outgoing's, hubby only works 4 days a week and does work he enjoys with people he likes.
We have a very big 5 bedroom house, en-suite, big garden, big courtyard at front.
The width of the house is equivalent to two of our old house in England, we bought it outright, no mortgage and we have made some money on it.
So everything should be great. Mostly it is great but we have these niggly little doubts about our future here long term.
We have done research and have come to the conclusion that neither of us is likely to be employed here.
We are not paying towards our state pension either which is big concern.
At the moment we are living the simple life but with all the mod cons of our old life. Eventually those mod cons with wear out, i,e computer, cars, dishwasher and we are not earning enough to replace those sort of things.
Is the honeymoon period coming to an end?
Does homesickness pass?
Are we just seeing our old lives through rose tinted spectacles?
Before leaving England we had grown to hate it and have heard that things are no different and a lot of people say "the things that made you leave are still here so you would be mad to come back"
Is this good advice?
How do we know?
sorry for all the questions but I really need to sort things out.
Hope to hear from loads and loads of you however small your contribution is.
Thanks in advance xx
I am living in France, I came here 18 months ago with my husband and 3 children.
So far so good, the children settled well and are now speaking french.
The eldest is 15 she has her first boyfriend and lots of friends.
My husband has casual work but nothing permanent.
We have found our dream home and are not unhappy.
But is doesn't seem to be enough, we are homesick for england, it only started about 4 to 6 weeks ago. I think until that point we were just pushing any niggly doubts out of our minds because we didn't want to burst the bubble.
We are missing family, friends, shops etc.
It is like we have stepped out of the real world and are in this parallel universe.
We escaped all the financial pressures of council tax etc, My husband left a job that he hated in England, we now have very low outgoing's, hubby only works 4 days a week and does work he enjoys with people he likes.
We have a very big 5 bedroom house, en-suite, big garden, big courtyard at front.
The width of the house is equivalent to two of our old house in England, we bought it outright, no mortgage and we have made some money on it.
So everything should be great. Mostly it is great but we have these niggly little doubts about our future here long term.
We have done research and have come to the conclusion that neither of us is likely to be employed here.
We are not paying towards our state pension either which is big concern.
At the moment we are living the simple life but with all the mod cons of our old life. Eventually those mod cons with wear out, i,e computer, cars, dishwasher and we are not earning enough to replace those sort of things.
Is the honeymoon period coming to an end?
Does homesickness pass?
Are we just seeing our old lives through rose tinted spectacles?
Before leaving England we had grown to hate it and have heard that things are no different and a lot of people say "the things that made you leave are still here so you would be mad to come back"
Is this good advice?
How do we know?
sorry for all the questions but I really need to sort things out.
Hope to hear from loads and loads of you however small your contribution is.
Thanks in advance xx
As I said before I don't get out much and I think that was getting to me more than anything. I found that getting involved with the locals helped me the most and intergrating and interacting with locals. I joined a mommy club and I go to the astronomy club with my husband. I took a break when I was a bit down which, helped me. We went to the coast for a long weekend.
I think it can take a long time to get used to a new country and really feel part of it. It took me 6 years and being married to a native to get used to it here. As for pensions etc you can set yourself up with investments from there.
Mar 17th 2007, 6:34 pm
#19
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Joined: Dec 2005
Location: uk-perth northern suburbs-uk
Posts: 740
Re: Knowing you are ready to return to the UK
Hi,
Before leaving England we had grown to hate it and have heard that things are no different and a lot of people say "the things that made you leave are still here so you would be mad to come back"
Is this good advice?
How do we know?
sorry for all the questions but I really need to sort things out.
Hope to hear from loads and loads of you however small your contribution is.
Thanks in advance xx
Before leaving England we had grown to hate it and have heard that things are no different and a lot of people say "the things that made you leave are still here so you would be mad to come back"
Is this good advice?
How do we know?
sorry for all the questions but I really need to sort things out.
Hope to hear from loads and loads of you however small your contribution is.
Thanks in advance xx
Yes the things that made you mad before will still be here when you get back...but I suppose its what your attitude to these annoyances are when you return.
for example: before I left the Uk, it was too overcrowded. Now Ive returned, its actually statistically more populated, but I dont notice it now.
I think when you are about to leave somewhere, you focus on all the negatives, that they get magnified and it justifies your move. its perfectly natural - we all did it to some degree or else why would we of gone? then, when you are about to leave your new country - you do it again there. Its an expat curse.
Some things that annoyed you before you left - they may not seem so bad in comparason to what you endure/encounter in France so they wont be so much of an issue. Other things will still annoy you and make you doubt yourself. But you will look at all your annoyances with fresh eyes and objectively be able to sort the real from the imagined problems.
the thing i hated thats still there for eg is the crap weather. the thing i was annoyed by (crime rate) was a false, exaggerateed perception. i feel neither less or more safe here than i did in perth and neither are my children.
Whatever you decide to do will be right because YOU are living your life and only you can answer the big question based on how you feel. Whatever you do, you have successfully built a life in France - you have achieved your aim so congratulations, pat youself on the back because no-one, whatever you do can take that away from you.
Stay or go - neither is a failure, its life. And remember, its your perogitive to change your mind any time you feel during your lifes journey
good luck
c
Mar 18th 2007, 7:53 am
#20
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: UK-France-UK-France
Posts: 242
Re: Knowing you are ready to return to the UK
Hi chance to be,
Everything you say is so right, I can relate to it all.
Thank you.
Everything you say is so right, I can relate to it all.
Thank you.
Mar 19th 2007, 4:21 am
#21
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Northland New Zealand
Posts: 587
Re: Knowing you are ready to return to the UK
I think it doesn't really matter, if you want to go back go! It's as simple as that you don't have to wonder whether you are doing the right thing if you go back and hate it you can always come back again...as long as you have the money.
Debbie
Mar 20th 2007, 6:45 pm
#23
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Joined: Feb 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 2,212
Re: Knowing you are ready to return to the UK
Mar 20th 2007, 8:34 pm
#24
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 41
Re: Knowing you are ready to return to the UK
sorryi haven't read all the responces to your post. i've been in france for 4 years. lived in 2 regions and can't wait to have the money in about 2 years (and counting) to move back.
My father has a building firm over here, he employs 1 person (my brother), he pays €2000+ each and every month in tax's and charges, its scary. business simply can't afford to run here, just a word of warning in case you decided to go that route.
there are pros and cons to both countries, what i did when i decided to go back was i actually wrote them dow,. the once that didn't really matetr if i had or not i would leave out. which ever looked best at the end of it then thats what i decided. then went back on a high stress holiday (going around tesco's when the kids were on holiday and running at 900 miles per hour lol) with my 3 year old to see how he coped and i did. i did it on an absolute shoe string as well as money is usually tight back in england for me. after seeing my 3 year old adore the pace of life (he was born in france) i knew that i had to go back with him. i have wanted to since i'd say about the same time you have been here, 18 month 2 years something like taht.
you have the hard task of deciding whats best for you and your kids, its tough i know.
good luck
susi
My father has a building firm over here, he employs 1 person (my brother), he pays €2000+ each and every month in tax's and charges, its scary. business simply can't afford to run here, just a word of warning in case you decided to go that route.
there are pros and cons to both countries, what i did when i decided to go back was i actually wrote them dow,. the once that didn't really matetr if i had or not i would leave out. which ever looked best at the end of it then thats what i decided. then went back on a high stress holiday (going around tesco's when the kids were on holiday and running at 900 miles per hour lol) with my 3 year old to see how he coped and i did. i did it on an absolute shoe string as well as money is usually tight back in england for me. after seeing my 3 year old adore the pace of life (he was born in france) i knew that i had to go back with him. i have wanted to since i'd say about the same time you have been here, 18 month 2 years something like taht.
you have the hard task of deciding whats best for you and your kids, its tough i know.
good luck
susi
Mar 23rd 2007, 12:20 pm
#25
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 557
Re: Knowing you are ready to return to the UK
I am on the countdown to going back.
we have only been here 4 months and it has been 4 months of hell.
Did not come here for a dream life just that my husband had the chance with work so we took it.
Reasons for going back: well first we had to the company go back on their word ( yep hubby trusted so did not get in writing BIG mistake), but after all of the hassle of that and trying to settle the kids we had far bigger problems.
4 weeks ago I suffered a herniated disc and got sciatica, I am unable to lift, bend, drive etc and its not healing so surgery is looking possible.
Bearing in mind I only have my hubby here there is no one to help me, and so the burden came on my husband who arranged for my 3 year old to increase her nursery hours from half day to full to help.
He let the boss know the problem but yesterday was more or less told if he gets in at 9.30 again (after dropping her off) then he will be fired.
As my husband has been told by my doctor that I could end up paralised if I lift, drive etc a few weeks of getting in at 9.30 twice a week seems a very small issue.
My husband hates the live to work attitude and would much rather work to live so we are heading back, we are lucky in that we have a house to return to and will have cash to see us through till a new job comes for him, I have a nursing bank contract but of course at the minuite I cant do that.
I am sooo very sad that things will end this way but feel that we have just been unlucky with the employee but I sure am looking forward to being back in amonst people I can trust to help out when needed.
we have only been here 4 months and it has been 4 months of hell.
Did not come here for a dream life just that my husband had the chance with work so we took it.
Reasons for going back: well first we had to the company go back on their word ( yep hubby trusted so did not get in writing BIG mistake), but after all of the hassle of that and trying to settle the kids we had far bigger problems.
4 weeks ago I suffered a herniated disc and got sciatica, I am unable to lift, bend, drive etc and its not healing so surgery is looking possible.
Bearing in mind I only have my hubby here there is no one to help me, and so the burden came on my husband who arranged for my 3 year old to increase her nursery hours from half day to full to help.
He let the boss know the problem but yesterday was more or less told if he gets in at 9.30 again (after dropping her off) then he will be fired.
As my husband has been told by my doctor that I could end up paralised if I lift, drive etc a few weeks of getting in at 9.30 twice a week seems a very small issue.
My husband hates the live to work attitude and would much rather work to live so we are heading back, we are lucky in that we have a house to return to and will have cash to see us through till a new job comes for him, I have a nursing bank contract but of course at the minuite I cant do that.
I am sooo very sad that things will end this way but feel that we have just been unlucky with the employee but I sure am looking forward to being back in amonst people I can trust to help out when needed.
Mar 28th 2007, 1:57 pm
#27
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,754
Re: Knowing you are ready to return to the UK
I sympathize and empathize with your condition, every couple of years I strain my back and get sciatica, its reallypainful, particularly in the leg,
