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I am in despair and dont know what to do

I am in despair and dont know what to do

Old Oct 22nd 2007, 5:35 am
  #16  
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Smile Re: I am in despair and dont know what to do

Hiya, the supermarkets are now starting to advertise, im in kent and a couple of months ago i rang round every supermarket around and none of them were recruiting. i went to the local morrisons and they have a board outside advertising. clarks shoeshop and a couple of the cafes and thats just in pettswood which is only a small parade compared to bromley, orpington etc. Whereabouts in essex are you? could you not get down to lakeside, bluewater etc. I dont know what your qualified to do but if shop work can tide you over for a while...

good luck and if you are near to lakeside maybe we could meet for a coffee and a chinwag.

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Old Oct 22nd 2007, 9:18 am
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Default Re: I am in despair and dont know what to do

Flea,
Im so sorry to hear things are hard for you (again).
How much do you believe that the Uk long term is best for you and hubbie? If you are still sure ultimately that the UKs for you, then I say stick it out. Januarys not long away. Christmas with the grandkids will make it go quicker. The post office are recruiting now. You need to apply online - but its good cash and maybe you can do your deliveries by scooter
What does hubbie say?
Youve come so far to throw in the towel just yet
Take care
Chrissy
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Old Oct 22nd 2007, 7:48 pm
  #18  
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Default Re: I am in despair and dont know what to do

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum
Many here know my early return to UK without my husband has not been an easy ride so far, but things have now got to the point that i really am considering returning to Sydney until my husband and i can come back over together. I am losing a lot of sleep worrying about everything and i'm not sure is this is the right decision.

Brief rundown of circumstances.

Initially husband and i intended to come back together in January, but my older dsaughter gave birth to a grandchild with feet deformities and the family needed my support.
I was also told by a good friend i had a great job waiting for me on my return, and sure enough i got the job, only to be told on my first day at work that i could not keep my job because i could not get security clearance due to living overseas for more than 3yrs. Since then i have applied for 16 jobs and not got one response. My husband is having to send me money from Sydney to keep me alive which is crazy.

My younger daughter, with whom i was intending to live with until my husband came over, split with her partner 2 weeks after i arrived!! This has made staying there impossible as they are now trying to patch up the relationship and i am not willing to put myself on them at such an emotional time for them. This has meant i am squeezed into a tiny 2 bedroom flat with my other daughter who has the baby with feet probs. She also has a 6yr old stepdaugther and i am having to share a bedroom with her. Whilst we all get on extremely well under such dire circumstances, the stress and emotion of it all is really starting to get me down, to the point i feel i am becoming depressed.

My husband and i are desperate to settle back in UK, but a bad run of circumstances beyond our control has left me in a hopeless situation. I dont want to go back as i fear it would mean at least a year of me trying to save up more money on Aussie dollar wages before we could come, but i cannot go on spongng money from our aussie savings due to not being able to find work. It seems that being a UK returnee is tantamount to being a new immigrant and no one wants to know!!

I feel like crying everyday as I have so much to worry about. Not just our returning home situation, but my grandaughters health, my other daughters relationship (2 kids involved) and the fact i am sitting here homeless, jobless and its starting to feel like futureless too.

What do i do? Go back or tough it out here?
Hi Flea - so sorry you've had such a crap time and no wonder you feel like going back to Sydney.

Life can be a right sh*t at times and it's amazing sometimes how lots of crap things always come together to really get you down.

I think you should just go with your gut feel - just do whatever feels right for YOU - sometimes when we are really low we just have to focus on ourselves and our needs, otherwise we can end up making ourselves ill worrying about everyone else!

Just remember all these things will resolve themselves in the end and although things seem really tough now there is light at the end of the tunnel, in the meantime you just do what feels right for you.
Best wishes, take care of you!xx

P.S - If it were me I would tough it out till January - but that's just me - and just remember it's a proven fact that 95% of the things we worry about never actually happen!!

Last edited by pommybird; Oct 22nd 2007 at 7:53 pm.
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Old Oct 23rd 2007, 1:59 am
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Default Re: I am in despair and dont know what to do

Don't have anything to add as all the bases seem to have been covered. Just wanted to wish you luck. Moving back to the UK is really hard & it takes time to get settled. we were away only 2 years & you havebeen away longer! It does get easier & a job will come!
Best wishes & karma sent
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Old Oct 23rd 2007, 4:38 am
  #20  
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Default Re: I am in despair and dont know what to do

Sorry to hear it feels like it's all going a bit tits up for you Flea, I'm also with the stick it out crew though and I've just been in your position and left London to go back to Doha, cept I was crashing at mum's not daughters.

Given you know you need to be settled to get your husband back here - as I will have to be too - I dont think resetting that plan to square one will help. Whats the best case scenario? Are you looking at another 3 months apart or potentially a lot longer?

I did 2 months over winter 04-5 at M&S, was interviewed about now and didn't start till the first week of November as customer service. I applied online and didnt even need a CV. Most shops xmas till staff don't start untill mid November or early December so I would definitely advise continuing with all the retail outlets as a stop gap.

I had only been away 2.5 years and found it very, very hard to get a bite anywhere and I'm in my 30's. We decided to do one more year in Doha and will not be leaving until Dec 08 now so I came back out. I know I will just have to start again next autumn and I am not looking forward to it at all.
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Old Oct 23rd 2007, 8:14 am
  #21  
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Default Re: I am in despair and dont know what to do

Oh Flea you poor thing. It's really hard to get started again and so much more difficult when you are trying to do it without your hubby. Only you know how you feel at this time but to be honest if it were me I think I would rather stick it out and keep trying. It's strange but often things do happen all of a sudden when you are least expecting it. And you would only have to go through all this again when you return later.

I remember when I first got to Australia I was applying for loads of jobs to no avail then all at once after a few months of trying I got three offers in the same week! When I returned home it took a good couple of months before I got a job. Same with the house rentals both in Oz and back home. I know how desperate you can feel but take heart that if you are determined and keep working at it, it will happen.

You have been through so much turmoil and emotional upheaval this last few months that you are bound to feel tearful and depressed. It's only natural. But keep up the great work, stay positive and determined and things will change and get better. Honest
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Old Oct 23rd 2007, 1:26 pm
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Default Re: I am in despair and dont know what to do

Duno what to say really just hang on in there you have come this far and been through so much..

Kath

ps sending you a bit of karma grrr what this thing about spreading reputation grrrr
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Old Oct 23rd 2007, 4:12 pm
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Default Re: I am in despair and dont know what to do

Hi Flea,

I sent you a pm about jobs - not sure if it was any use but anyway another thought occurred to me. Next Directory employs people to deliver their orders and with Christmas coming up it might be worth contacting them to see if they need extra employees. Also BHS are now interviewing for Xmas staff. My friend's daughter who is at uni has just got a job at the store in Watford ( I know it's not your area but you might have a large store near you) for 2 months - mid Nov to mid Jan to cover Xmas rush and New Year Sales.

x
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Old Oct 23rd 2007, 8:25 pm
  #24  
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Default Re: I am in despair and dont know what to do

Hi Flea,

Just wanted to wish you luck and give you some (((((HUGS))))).

What are your gut instincts telling you to do?
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Old Oct 24th 2007, 9:31 am
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Default Re: I am in despair and dont know what to do

Another lot of {{{{hugs}}}} There has to be a silver lining in that bl**dy cloud somewhere!!!! Here's hoping the job of your dreams will drop in your lap very soon!

Edited to say - have you tried The Gumtree for accommodation/job possibilities? Just another avenue and as it is designed for the Aussie community in UK they may have things where being new to the UK (after a while away) is not the huge hurdle it might otherwise be.

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Old Oct 25th 2007, 4:21 am
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Default Re: I am in despair and dont know what to do

I have been looking on monster job website and there are oodles advertised have you tried that website?
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Old Oct 25th 2007, 4:39 am
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Default Re: I am in despair and dont know what to do

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum
Many here know my early return to UK without my husband has not been an easy ride so far, but things have now got to the point that i really am considering returning to Sydney until my husband and i can come back over together. I am losing a lot of sleep worrying about everything and i'm not sure is this is the right decision.

Brief rundown of circumstances.

Initially husband and i intended to come back together in January, but my older dsaughter gave birth to a grandchild with feet deformities and the family needed my support.
I was also told by a good friend i had a great job waiting for me on my return, and sure enough i got the job, only to be told on my first day at work that i could not keep my job because i could not get security clearance due to living overseas for more than 3yrs. Since then i have applied for 16 jobs and not got one response. My husband is having to send me money from Sydney to keep me alive which is crazy.

My younger daughter, with whom i was intending to live with until my husband came over, split with her partner 2 weeks after i arrived!! This has made staying there impossible as they are now trying to patch up the relationship and i am not willing to put myself on them at such an emotional time for them. This has meant i am squeezed into a tiny 2 bedroom flat with my other daughter who has the baby with feet probs. She also has a 6yr old stepdaugther and i am having to share a bedroom with her. Whilst we all get on extremely well under such dire circumstances, the stress and emotion of it all is really starting to get me down, to the point i feel i am becoming depressed.

My husband and i are desperate to settle back in UK, but a bad run of circumstances beyond our control has left me in a hopeless situation. I dont want to go back as i fear it would mean at least a year of me trying to save up more money on Aussie dollar wages before we could come, but i cannot go on spongng money from our aussie savings due to not being able to find work. It seems that being a UK returnee is tantamount to being a new immigrant and no one wants to know!!

I feel like crying everyday as I have so much to worry about. Not just our returning home situation, but my grandaughters health, my other daughters relationship (2 kids involved) and the fact i am sitting here homeless, jobless and its starting to feel like futureless too.

What do i do? Go back or tough it out here?
I would go home to your husband. They are precious. And it's starting to be summer there and that will cheer you up enormously. You will be more relaxed and will be able to rethink your situation. All the very best.
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Old Oct 25th 2007, 12:00 pm
  #28  
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Default Re: I am in despair and dont know what to do

Flea, I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time! I know you were SO excited to be back home.

I'm with the bunch that feel you should ride it out. . . you went through so much to return. Hubs will be there sooner than you know.

Are you getting (eligible for?) the job seekers allowance?

Good luck with everything. {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

Sarah
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Old Oct 26th 2007, 4:17 am
  #29  
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Default Re: I am in despair and dont know what to do

Hi all

Just a quick message to say thanks to all of you for the advice and support. I have very limited internet time as my husband in a million booked a few days away on my own in a hotel to pamper myself and destress a bit.
I have sent off a further 10 applications to various places.
I have decided to stay put for now. I am feeling a lot better just having some time on my own to think. Living with a 4mth old baby who is in a lot of pain due to plaster casts on her legs is hard work and very distressing. I am not complaining and look forward to getting back there to help out, but the distraction of all this hasnt helped me to sort my own life out as i am constantly helping out my daughter which included a lot of sleepless nights.

Thanx to those who sent me private messages, I hope you dont mind but i will reply when i get home.

Hopefully next week will see some interviews for me!!
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Old Oct 26th 2007, 4:49 am
  #30  
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Default Re: I am in despair and dont know what to do

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum
Hi all

Just a quick message to say thanks to all of you for the advice and support. I have very limited internet time as my husband in a million booked a few days away on my own in a hotel to pamper myself and destress a bit.
I have sent off a further 10 applications to various places.
I have decided to stay put for now. I am feeling a lot better just having some time on my own to think. Living with a 4mth old baby who is in a lot of pain due to plaster casts on her legs is hard work and very distressing. I am not complaining and look forward to getting back there to help out, but the distraction of all this hasnt helped me to sort my own life out as i am constantly helping out my daughter which included a lot of sleepless nights.

Thanx to those who sent me private messages, I hope you dont mind but i will reply when i get home.

Hopefully next week will see some interviews for me!!
Best wishes Hun!
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