ChocolateBabz

I think us BE'rs should all chip in and buy a few holiday cottages dotted around the UK - then we could tell all our in-laws, out-laws and friends that we can't stay with them as we have to get our moneys worth out of our timeshares

robin1234

I do agree with you -- my wife and I basically spent almost all vacations from 1973 to 2006 visiting parents/inlaws & a lot of it is sitting on the edge of the sofa in the front room, sipping interminable cups of tea. This is an inevitable function of living thousands of miles away from your parents. But, I think it is necessary to keep the relationship alive. In my parents case, they would never consider visiting America -- like a lot of English people of their generation, they hated and despised everything to do with America (that never made it easy for my long-suffering wife...!)

Now that they have died, we rent a cottage and have a real holiday. One year, I went over on my own and rented a cottage in Northumberland and stayed there with my sister & her partner .. we had a great time, and pretty much drunk Alnwick dry I think!!

The Horticulturalist

You're right of course. We're really going for them and the kids - not that we don't want to visit the Olds, but I don't think there'd be the same urgency if we didn't have children, we and they would perhaps be content with less frequent visits.

Dan725

Yeap....while not to that extent, I've also had some of that kind of thing happen. But I refuse to go around visiting all and sundry - they need to come to us at my parents house, IMO, and if they don't like it - too bad.

We go back to the UK once every 2 years or so - would like to get back more ideally, but find its just not practical with stingy US vacation allowance.

Ash UK/US

Both of my daughters were Christened in the UK, afterwards we had a get together, with my oldest it was at my dads house, with my youngest it was at a pub. That was kinda nice because we got to see everyone all at once and it kinda freed us up for the rest of the time. Thinking about that might not be a bad idea, buy a few snacks/sandwiches etc from Costco and invite everyone over for a get together and call it good.

made of kent

only been here about 18 months, had a forced visit over Christmas, New Year and my kids 4th birthday, due to a major problem with our house in the UK where a survey said we had subsidence! (we didn't) and it was easier being on the ground, arrived in the UK with 24 hours notice and spend the next 10 weeks intending to stay on a lilo in our house, didn't spend one night there, friends and family stepped up to the plate, and took it in turns to look after me, but our real plan is to do the same as my husbands cousin, who lives in the States for the last 10 yrs and he goes home every 2 years for Christmas just as we did when in the UK, we where in Kent, hubbies family Scotland.
hubbies family are feeling the crunch, so haven't visited, best friend in 2 weeks, is visiting..I am soo excited..we are going to NY for 2 days without kids... and my brother promises early next year, but he is in the Army, so things came change and if not before April he will be in Afghanistan!
No parents for me so not that problem.

Gannett

I've been here nearly 2 years and have managed to get back once, last February, thanks to a British Airways promotion. My wife and I would like to go again for Thanksgiving 2010, which gives us time to save up for the air fares and accrue some leave.

I'm starting a new job this week, but the paid leave is piffling, just 5 days a year. I feel awfully churlish complaining about it - being offered a job in the middle of this recession is a blessing - but it takes me 5 days to get over my jet-lag once I'm there! What's stopping American businesses offering European levels of annual leave, do they think workers will go all soft and not work harder or something?

I agree strongly with those who are frustrated by the family obligations using up their valuable UK time. If only we could afford the holiday cottage option, that would save a load of hassle. I feel awful, because we have to stay with my mother who smokes and has let the house go a bit. I would like to stay with my brother, but I just know my mother would be deeply offended and take it all personally.

My dream would be to win zillions on the lottery, buy a house in the UK and the US and spend 6 months of the year in each country. But that's never going to happen, so I'll have to settle for whistle-stop, jet-lagged trips once a year.

Tegwyn

When we first came over, we could not afford it so it was a good 5 years before we headed back. Then averaged every 2nd to 3rd year with the kids after that. When my parents were getting to their frail years, I was back every year and then in the last year of their lives, back three times! Now it is no longer a family thing as my kids are grown but I ship hubby back to Scotland to see his Mum every year. I go sometimes, but I know from my own experience that it is comforting to know you tried to be there for them at much as possible before they pass on.

The Horticulturalist

That's the exact same problem we have. Their house is not quite in Kim and Aggie's league, but it's far from clean and of course everthing reeks of smoke including the bed we sleep in and the kids pj's after one night there. They don't smoke when the kids are up, but are soon as they go to bed they do.

ionaskye

When my children were young i always went back twice a year , the summer for about four to six weeks and then in November because the airfares were so cheap , I would only go for about a week to ten days , November was when it was all aout family ,summer we did alot of traveling in the Uk

Poppy girl

I go back twice a year mother has to have her visits I should not complain, if nature takes its course one day I might wish I was going back to blighty.

The Horticulturalist

my husband gets 4 weeks vacation and I'd like to spend some of them here, so we'd take 2 weeks for the UK. I don't think that I could tolerate 6 weeks living with inlaws and parents!

Englishtart

Very true Poppy, I know I wish I still had 'that' reason to go home for visits

Poppy girl

As most folk know I dislike the UK and have no interest what so ever in the place, having said that I am for some strange reason looking forward to going back for Christmas this year.

tamms_1965

DH has been here 2-1/2 years and has not been back. We had planned a trip (my idea) this past summer but decided there were so many places in the US we wanted to see. DH has 3 grown sons in the UK and 2/3 have been here one time and both are coming back this summer. We've had two sets of friends visit and four sisters visit. His parents are deceased. The more time passes the less he wants to go back. I am the one saying we need to visit, not him. I am sure when one of his sons gets married we will go back and make a vacation out of it.