Homesick - does this stop?
Aug 25th 2008, 10:24 am
#76
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 35,082
Re: Homesick - does this stop?
My husband says he's not homesick at all. I ask what he misses and all he can come up with is that it's easier to walk in the country there. But that's just a function of where we live, than the nation.
He likes the food... says the people are friendly.
Actually, he says he really sees very little difference.
(Unless, of course, he's lulling me into a false sense of security while he plots his escape...)
He likes the food... says the people are friendly.
Actually, he says he really sees very little difference.
(Unless, of course, he's lulling me into a false sense of security while he plots his escape...)
Some of them are just keepers.
Aug 25th 2008, 10:39 am
#77
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: NW Chicago suburbs
Posts: 11,253
Aug 25th 2008, 10:46 am
#78
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Houston, Tx
Posts: 939
Re: Homesick - does this stop?
its not that you cant work for at least 90 days at all. You cant work until your EAD comes through. It can take 90 days but it can take a lot less. Especially if you file by post rather than electronically. I think one lady on here got hers in under 2 weeks. So stop looking on the black side of things - as that wont help your mood any.
also - do things now to fill your time. If you cant drive yet then use the internet and research all the places you would like to visit when you can. find out the opening times, locations, costs etc so that when your able you can go striaght there and enjoy.
Also research and create an american style resume (ie C.V) so that when your EAD comes through you are good to go straight away. Research what type of jobs are out there that you might like - see where things are advertised, look for agencies, etc etc. This will mean you are quicker to get going when it is possible.
It sounds like you are wallowing in self pity somewhat and dont want to fill your time up so you can enjoy yourself. Only you can make the effort to fairly try the new life. It may not be for you but it honestly sounds like you dont really want to even try it fairly.
also - do things now to fill your time. If you cant drive yet then use the internet and research all the places you would like to visit when you can. find out the opening times, locations, costs etc so that when your able you can go striaght there and enjoy.
Also research and create an american style resume (ie C.V) so that when your EAD comes through you are good to go straight away. Research what type of jobs are out there that you might like - see where things are advertised, look for agencies, etc etc. This will mean you are quicker to get going when it is possible.
It sounds like you are wallowing in self pity somewhat and dont want to fill your time up so you can enjoy yourself. Only you can make the effort to fairly try the new life. It may not be for you but it honestly sounds like you dont really want to even try it fairly.
As far as the homesickness was concerned, I too went through an awful time adjusting when I first got here. If it wasn't for finding this forum and having both kind words (and the odd kick up the bum - you know who you are!!), I doubt I would have faired as well as I did. It was truly awful being left alone, in a strange country, not knowing where the hell I was, what things to shop for, knowing which brands to choose, no-one to talk to .. yada yada.
But once I stopped moping and got myself out there, I soon made friends. I join the gym and put myself in a 3 x weekly class (with the same group of people attending). I went to night school and took up a couple of courses. Found some great friends from this forum and met up - and still do. Joined the local ladies club and kept myself busy with all sorts of meetings and activities. Also I now volunteer at community for people with learning disabilities, and that's great. So, along with the work I do (UK based) and all the stuff I've taken on, I'm busy as hell most days. And love it! Without something to occupy yourself the homesickness becomes just that - a sickness. From which there is little cure IMO.
Good luck, and hope you feel better soon
Aug 25th 2008, 11:16 am
#79
Sursum corda
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Richmond Hill, GA USA
Posts: 38,860
Re: Homesick - does this stop?
As my DH stated in another thread recently, he was 54 when he came here, so certainly not a kid. He has a loving family, had a place to live and a decent job but fortunately for me, he loved me enough to turn his world upside down.
Does he think it's perfect here, likely not, and does he miss some things in the UK? Likely so. BUT this is what he chose and as of tomorrow it'll be five years here.
Oh, and for anyone who thinks it was a fairytale-no, it wasn't. The first 5 months he was here before he got a job, he sat alone, sometimes until 11 pm because I was working 1 1/2 jobs-out in the sticks with a dog and cat to talk to.
It is what it is and you just get on with it.
