GV02

I moved back to the UK 6 months ago from the US and I'm still extremely homesick. My husband is American and he's settling in better than me. Does anyone else have this problem and does it get better? I'm 64 and lived in Louisiana for 26 years so it's been a major culture shock and I don't seem to be getting any more settled. I'm wondering if we made a mistake. We sold our home and bought a house here and my green card will only be valid for another 6 months. I'm wondering if we made the right decision. Does anyone have any tips or advice?

durham_lad

No tips or advice I’m afraid as these things are so dependent on the individual and circumstances. My wife and I, both originally born in the UK, (NE and NW) moved back at age 62 after spending 27 years in the USA, 17 of those years in Baton Rouge, and 10 in the Houston area. We really enjoyed our time there, and made many lifelong friends in Louisiana which we found to be a very friendly place.

We moved back to the small town our children were born in and 7 years later and are still loving every minute of it.

GV02

Thank you so much for sharing. I'm happy to hear that things turned out so well for you both.

SanDiegogirl

You've already found the 'moving back to the UK - any regrets' thread, so why not read through those all those posts?
Plenty of comments/helpful advice there.

christmasoompa

If you lived in the US for 26 years then did you not apply for citizenship? If not, could you? It would just give you the option to move back at any time and more time to decide, rather than a deadline hanging over you.

Jerseygirl

You must have lived in the US for at least 3 out of the last 5 years to be eligible for citizenship. The kicker is, you must have resided in the state where you are applying from for the last 3 months.

https://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/...ides/M-480.pdf

GV02

I never applied for citizenship and I think it's too late now because I've been out of the country for 6 months.

dunroving

As I posted on the "Any Regrets" thread, I had some deep regrets and a "What have I done?" moment when I returned to the UK from the US (both times!) I think it's a very natural response in these situations, even though not everybody goes through it. I also found that expecting other people to give me advice on how to sort out my problem was a fool's errand - nobody can help you decide what to "do" (stay, move back, whatever). My regrets lasted for several years, and I never really got back what I lost, especially in terms of my professional sense of belonging and achievement. For about 5 years, I actually applied for and interviewed for several jobs in the US before I finally gave myself a right royal kick up the backside and told myself to get over it and make the most of my new life. When I stopped looking throgh the job ads, it was a tremendous relief and a watershed moment, as it was a sign I was accepting the situation.

I'm now 17 years post-return (the second return, that is!) and, although I still pine for some of the lifestyle aspects of the US that I lost, I can objectively see that it was for the best (most logical, financially feasible, long-term happiness-wise). I'm now retired in the UK, financially stable, enjoying all the things that the UK and Europe offer.

A few pithy aphorisms that helped me to *deal with* (not solve) the problems I had are listed below (when I say "you" below, I don't mean you specifically, I mean me and everyone else in the same situation):

Wherever you go, there you are. Often it's not the place that's the problem, it's you. Get yourself sorted and work through what's going on inside, and the outside won't seem so bad.
Same sh*t, different bucket (or "different sh*t, different bucket"). Nowhere is perfect, and you can easily drift into forgetting all the crap you had to deal with wherever you came from (US, wherever), and remember it only as a sunny paradise. Don't fixate on the crap parts of the UK, seek out and make the most of the good parts.
If you can't change your situation, change the way you respond to it (or think about it). I think that one speaks for itself.

As some of my comments above imply, it can be dangerous to ruminate on your situation - and that includes spending too much time reading through threads on British Expats! It's a great place for support, and I'm not saying stay away, just be careful not to spend too much time and energy ruminating on the problem or it will take a lot longer to sort itself out.

GV02

Thank you so much! I know you're right on every count - especially only dwelling on the good memories. I appreciate everything you've said and have taken it on board so hopefully I will settle in time. I'm glad everything worked out for you. Have a lovely Christmas!

kateg60

I moved to UK in April 2023 after 36 years in the US. It has been a challenge at times navigating bureaucracy and everyday life. I don't regret moving, I can of course move back to the US if I want to as I am a dual citizen. The transition has been more difficult than I expected given most of my family is close by and I have visited the UK regularly during my time in the US. Feeling settled is where I struggle, also meeting people and finding things to do on long dark evenings. It is a slow process for me to build friendships. Also, I am used to great weather where I can be outside year round, so winters here are going to take some figuring out. Life here is for the most part exactly as I expected it. I also travel back to the US 2-3 year so not really missing anything. Perhaps you can identify what it is you are feeling homesick for and try to build the life you enjoyed in the US here?

brits1

When we returned “home” to England I sort of knew I might have days of “what the heck have I/we done “ (as I did when we first arrived in Aus) especially at times when “things” got on my nerves but it’s human nature to think this way and if I was feeling this way I use to tell myself why we had wanted to return home, it’s so much easier to remember the good times, You are still fairly new to your move so give yourself time and look at the things you enjoy doing and try new things it might and also it might help to stop thinking you have a “deadline” Good luck and I really hope you feel settled soon.