Jerseygirl

Our daughter was 11 when we moved...she is now 25. She was and still is the only grandchild on my husband's side. She is the eldest of 3 grandchildren on my side. So I understand what you're saying...in fact I could have written your post myself. We're thinking about moving to be near our daughter. Losing our parents this last year has made us realise just how important immediate family is.

N1cky

Our situation is similar, only grandchild on hubby's side, and on my side the other grandchildren are all in their 20's.

I don't blame you for wanting to move to be near your daughter, I think I would do so in your position.

It's also something that I think people need to be aware of before making the the decision to move countries. Although work wise we didn't have much choice but come out here, I feel we were really selfish in our focus on how it would affect us and didn't think much about what we were doing to our parents and our futures.

It's so easy to say 'well if we don't like it we can go home' but how many times have we seen on here that people feel trapped due to not wanting to leave their grown up children and grandkids. Sometimes you just set yourself up for living your life in limbo.

kel.

Thank you everyone for your opinions/advice.

I totally understand what most of you are saying about the family thing but like I said in an earlier reply we don't really have a close family (other than my sis/neice) so I don't think, for me, that would be a massive issue. I only have one living parent (my mom) and we are not that close.

I suppose I'm worried about making a huge mistake (which wouldn't just effect me and my hubby but my kids as well)

Since reading some other posts I'm also worried about the work thing. Even though we are both prepared to do any kind of job, it's still a worry.

As for what someone said about what if in so many years we want to come back but our eldest doesn't. Well what if we didn't go and in so many years my eldest says he's emigrating. I think thats a no win situation. I also think as parents we all want our kids to do what's right for them (whether we like it or not)

Reading this back to myself it sounds like I've made my mind up to give it a go but I haven't, I have too many worries about it yet.

I appreicate what everyone is saying whether they are positive or negative views

Oh and jerseygirl you didn't offend me at all. I understand what you meant.

Thanks

Jerseygirl

It's all part of the 'curse of the expats' syndrome.

We are lucky we already have a place in Canada and can stay there for 6 months of the year. Our daughter will eventually sponsor us to be residents.

sallysimmons

I was like this too - didn't give it a thought. Just told them I was going. I didn't (and don't) have kids, but it doesn't make it any less callous. My only excuse is that I was 24 and therefore innately selfish! Now I regret the time I lost with them and I regret hurting them by leaving. OTOH, my dad had lots of great vacations over here before he died and he never would have had those travel experience if I hadn't moved here, so that makes me feel a little better.

N1cky

We weren't close to our family either, but its amazing how you feel knowing you can get in the car and see them as opposed to knowing you can't see them.

Also, I think it is a different experience to leave your children behind, as opposed to them leaving you. One is your choice the other isn't.

It's good that you are taking the time and thought to go through these things before making a decision. Lots of us didn't and I'm sure it will help you make a balanced decision in the end


Thats nice that you gave your Dad (and yourself) some nice memories. My dad has been here once, I still have no idea if he enjoyed it or not. I can't imagine he will come again. I can't imagine hubby's Mum will ever come out to visit.

charleygirl

You know its so true, we just got up and left and although for me it was just for a year i know now my husband planned all long to make it a life time, with never a thought for my mum or his parents........or for anyone missing out on our beautiful children growing up, twins age 4 and a 6 year old.....Oh dear this all makes me too sad.......OP I hope you get some great advice in the Aus forum....get both sides of it.
Good luck.

postman62

I really would think long and hard about emigrating and if you have any doubts at all I would say don't do it. I emigrated to Canada a year ago with my husband and 2 sons and absolutely hate it here and really do long to go home, I didn't think I would miss the UK so much. I can't even say it's family and friends that I miss because I only have my dad and sister, it's England itself. My husbands and kids love it and don't want to move back and people in the UK tell us to stick it out, but it's really hard being in a place you hate feeling homesick. I don't even think that coming here will give us a better life, which is why we came in the first place. I wake up every morning with a feeling of dread knowing that I'm stuck here and going home isn't an option at the moment because if cost so much for us to get here we can't afford to go back. I had been to Canada 4 times before we made the move here and loved it, but it's a lot different spending 2 weeks in another country to living there permenantly. Please think very carefully about it

paranoidandroid

Right.

paranoidandroid

I suspect that's how my parents feel, even though they would never admit it.
They always told me "as long as you're happy we're happy for you, wherever you want to live".
But I know from what I heard that they really weren't happy about me not being there for months after I left.

brissybee

I think this is the most sensible answer to a post I have ever read.

brits1

This is a hard one....as we all have our own reasons for doing things.....the first important things is though you both really have to be positive about what you are doing....a bit like say buying a house...most have to really agree on the when,where,price etc you'd be mad not to and the same applies in some ways to migration...you really have to way up the whole picture...and then do all the homework in the world (we did none of this.lol...but some did and still hated life in their new countries so no guarerentees there I am affraid) as for better this and that....a lot of that is tosh.....it's all swings and roundabouts and what and how you make out of life....we had a very full and active lifestyle outdoor and indoor lifestlye here in the UK before we left the UK for Aus...so for us thats a moot point....our sons did very well in education here in the UK and found education to be poorer in WA both private and public...but then maybe thats down to the schools we choose, our sons still did well though as we educated them also at home and when we went overseas on our travels so again it's not all black and white....we lived in a nice area before we left Aus and had no trouble at all and still don't in the same area although we do not live there now, yet in Aus we lived in a very,very nice area and saw all kinds of things we did not expect to see or hear....but maybe that was down to having very bad neighbours etc ......all I know from our experience is someone asked me to move abroad now it would have to be something/somewhere exceptional as the price of good friends/family and what we enjoy here in the UK and abroad is just too much to loose on a whim....(not saying your doing this on a whim...) if you have the itch though you have to scratch it....life is never certain.....what I value as a quality in my life your oh might laugh at, we are all different...go on holiday but remember it is a holiday...a bit like going to the med...who has not thought of living there lol...but living and working there is never the same as being on holiday.....and we do have winters in Aus....yep even snow.....lol...that suprises some when we tell them....also it is fine for people to say they would go in a shot....well why don't they?...they might have reasons but we have met all types who have "arrived" in Aus in all manner of shapes and forms to get their and not all on points etc.....some have gone to great lengths so it can be done....all the best and try and talk to your OH about how you really feel.....don't forget what can be a good job here is not always the case in Aus...visa versa....