kel.

Hi everyone this might be a long winded post (sorry in advance)
My husband joined this forum the other day because he REALLY wants to emigrate and I'm not 100% sure but I have found that I have been on the forum the last couple of days more and reading alot more about it. I have joined for myself because there are alot of posts I feel relate to me and how i feel.

Where do I start
Well I'm 30 and married with 2 children (boys aged 12 and 8) I've been with my hubby since I was 15 and don't know what I would do without him. I can say I would do anything for him but emigrating! wow that's a big one.
He mentioned it about 2 years ago and I said NO straight away and told him to forget about it as I would never leave. I can't say it's because I am very close to my family because I'm not there only my sister and neice who I know I would miss dearly.
Anyway a while back we looked online on the visa bureau just to see if we qualified for Australia and we did. I was quite excited when it said we qualified on points but then soon after the thought of leaving got to much and every time it was mentioned I cried.
My hubby does make me feel guilty because he says he wants our kids to have a better life and in the UK there is no future for them. I want the best for our kids too but who's saying it will be better in Oz.
We have spoke to the kids and our 12 year says he wouldn't be bothered (but deep down I think he would, he just likes to please his dad, bless him) but our 8 year old says no, he doesn't want to leave his school (gotta love him)
Saying all of this since reading what other people have wrote I am thinking about it all the time and I think I would like to give it ago. However, I still don't want to leave my sister and neice. We have asked some of our family members what they would do and most say they would go tomorrow if they could my sister included but I just don't know.

I do feel like I'm being selfish because I'm only thinking of how I would feel leaving my sis/neice behind.
It's just a massive decision to make!!

On the plus side though we are going to Australia for 3 weeks the end of this year and I have said I'm not making any final decisions until we've been on holiday.

Sorry if I've gone on and on but I have tried to shorten a bit
Thanks for reading

Aviator

Welcome to BE. If you have not done so, take a look through the Australia forum. Lots of great folks who can help you on your way. The Wiki articles are also very useful.
Enjoy the forum

N1cky

Hi, welcome to BE

I can't help you with Austalia as we are in the US, however I would be really wary of moving anywhere to give your kids a better future.

What do you think this brighter future will be? Do you not feel they are getting a good education where they are? (move schools), do you live in the city but love to be at the beach (move towns).

Moving countries does not guarantee a better future, just a different one. As most of us know, everyday life soon becomes the same, you do the school run, you go to work, you make dinner, you sit in front of the tv, you go to bed. Don't confuse being on holiday somewhere as being the same as living there.

Good luck, and enjoy your holiday.

Ka Ora!

Your not the first person to feel like this and wont be the last, But for any emigrating plan to work both adults have got to agree. If it's your first holiday to Oz coming up it could change everything you you or your OH.

Ask Questions in the Australia Section as there are loads of people that have made the move.

cresta57 , moneypenny20 , sonlymewalter , Centurion Are the Moderators and alistairboyle is the Concierge over there so should you have any issues give one of them a shout.

Also have a read of the threads in the Moving Back to the UK Section and get your hubby to read some of them as well, Lots of people end up returning to the UK from many places because it just doesn't suit.

I wish you luck in the pursuit of happiness, And have a good holiday I know I could do with one.

meauxna

My advice is: Don't ask your children for advice or opinion on this topic.

And, YOU need to be committed to this equally or it won't work at all.

AND, this phrase is very overused, and by my observation over many years, inaccurate.
"he wants our kids to have a better life and in the UK there is no future for them"

If he fixes that in his mind, it will be true for him, but that doesn't make it universally true.

You should also look at the forum here titled Moving Back to the UK.

Sally Redux

Don't do it.

TiddlyPom

Not better, just different. Aus is vastly different to the UK for sure and in some ways it's better, weather wise, but if you want better weather, move to France or Italy!

A three week holiday is not normal life and I don't think it will give you much of an idea unless you're living with a family and sharing their daily life.

If you can come here with good money and set up near the beach then I reckon that this is great... but you could do that in the UK too.
It's important to remember that the past couple of years in the UK have been pretty bad due to recession but it won't always be that way. Aus has just managed to keep out of recession so we're lucky in a way. But dissatisfaction with the UK will be stronger whilst you're struggling for sure.

Whichever country you're in, you still have to work, kids still have to go to school, you still have to pay bills... it's not one big long holiday.



They say 'same shit, shinier bucket' and in many ways, that's true.


I'd like to hear from your husband why he thinks his kids don't have much of a chance in the UK. What specifically is wrong with it?

Jerseygirl

Hello and welcome to BE. Thank you for taking the time to introduce yourself.

As you've been given the appropriate links to our Australia forums I am moving your post to the Moving Back To The UK forum. I think you will get more replies in that forum...from people who have moved and regretted it.

IMO it's ususally women who find it harder to settle than men. So if you don't want to move...don't do it. I wanted to live in the US but after about 2 months I was so very, very homesick and depressed for years. If you move to Australia and want to move back to the UK but your husband refuses he can stop you from taking your children back to the UK.

Good luck.

TiddlyPom

Hang on, what about the people who have moved and NOT regretted it? I don't think MBTTUK forum is the right place for a balanced view either!!!

Jerseygirl

That's why I said KO's already provided the links to the Australia forums. Hopefully the OP will read/post in both forums to secure a balanced view.

TiddlyPom

Hopefully.

Jerseygirl

TiddlyPom

Hopefully. Yes, I'm agreeing with you.

lousid

I have often thouight about moving back and we change our mind on a daily basis. However, kids are def kids for longer here in Canada. That was important to us.

killerhales

Hi Kel, I left the UK back in 1995 and have been living here in Sydney since 2005 (was in other countries in between).
I'm on this forum because in about 18 months time my wife, daughter and I are going to return to the UK.

On the Australia forum you will find a lot of people who are very keen to come to Oz, and I would certainly recommend coming here.
On this forum you will find people in Oz, US, Canada who are thinking about or planning to return to the UK. Some of those people are quite negative about their experience of living abroad.
Others have had a great time living abroad, but feel it is the right time to go back. I would put myself in that category.

What I would say is that a move to Australia is not necessarily a one-way deal. There is always the option to return, whilst not easy, it is always an option.

Your kids are young enough to take the move in their stride. I agree with the previous poster that it is not their decision, it is for you and your husband to decide. Of course you can discuss things with them, but it is your decision.

The key thing is that you both agree on the decision. Of course you will have doubts, but after your visit here, you have to look each other in the eyes and say "yes, I'm prepared to give it a go". Not just "for the kids", but more importantly, for yourselves.

My daughter came here with us when she was 12, and will finish secondary school in about 18 months at age 18. We left the UK when she was 1 and she wants to go back to attend university. My wife also wishes to return.

She would tell you that she has had a great time here in Oz, has a balanced and safe lifestyle, but she wants to see what her birthplace has to offer.

This is too long already, but I would say what Australia has to offer is an outdoor lifestyle, sport much more important over here, good race relations (but certainly not perfect), the economy will be miles better for the foreseeable future, good education, and a more postive attitude to life.

What it doesn't have is much decent culture, TV is pretty poor, Xmas is strange for a lot of Poms (my wife hates it), you'll miss the seasons and the countryside, and of course, your relatives.

Good Luck!