Sherro

Sorry to read your post, I can totally sympathise with your feeling trapped and unhappy. In many ways reading lots of these similar posts, its seems like the expats who have come with families and kids are carrying the weight of it all in a greater degree than some of us who are single and dont have to worry about wife, husband kids etc.

I must admit, I am surprised by the number of people on here who have moved to Adelaide and Perth from the UK. Are they doing a big push over in England to get people to this part of the world? Lots of lawyers and engineers appear to be popping up there due to the resources boom. I couldnt imagine a worse place to go myself.

Feeling cut off from the world and missing England can be much greater felt in these regions due to their geography.

Is there any chance you could relocate to somewhere with a much greater european feel, like Melbourne.

I have been to Perth 4 times and couldnt spend more than a week there, its not even a one horse town, too boring, but thats my opinion and I appreciate many others would love it. I couldnt think of anywhere worse to settle than Perth or Adelaide after the chaos of Europe, the culture shock and remoteness would do my head right in. 4 weeks ago i was in Adelaide on business and got called a "white cun*" by an aboriginal girl becauuse I was in rundall mall at 9 at night getting some money and looked at her the wrong way, she threatened to get her cousins to come and stab me...Nice girl, I laughed at her and moved on....hastily....

Any chance you can take a few weeks off and come down to Melbourne or Sydney and try and get amongst it more, it might feel more like your alive in a place thats more happening?

Sorry it might be totally off side, I dont know your driver for being unhappy but take it from a pom who has been allround Aussie, Perth is NOT the best place to start in my opinion..

pommybird

Oh you poor thing - you sound like how I was a couple of years ago - stuck in Perth unhappy with 2 young kids and an OH who loved Oz and did not want to return to the UK. It's so hard but try and focus on the future.

Despite OH's misgivings about returning to the UK we came back last year after 2 years in Perth and we have never looked back - I'm not saying it was easy moving back especially with a reluctant husband (we had LOADS of rows!!) but we got through it and now we are happier than ever and our marriage is definitely stronger for it.

Who knows, as others have said your homesickness may pass, I hope so - mine never did and after 2 years I felt more homesick than ever.

Whatever you do, keep posting and offloading on this forum, there are loads of lovely people who have been in your shoes and can support you and offer advice.

One day you will look back on all this and realise it all happened for a reason, stay strong and keep postingxx

northernbird

for people who want a simple easy quiet life Perth is perfect. For those who want more from life i can understand how they would find it boring.

birdynumnum

Good post Sherro, as ever.

ananomoz
I just wanted to send you a big hug.
Does your hubby know how unhappy you're really feeling here?
Dont keep it all. Bugger the money on moving here, its not worth anything if you're unhappy.
Sherros got a good point, there seem to be alot of people choosing Perth - its isolated even by Oz standards. Would you & your o/h consider a look at Melbourne?
Dont keep trying to hang in there hoping you'll love it, you need to be happy to.
Just make sure you keep talking to your hubby.
Your kids will be happy wherever they are, as long as they're with you.
Lots of love
Tanya
xxx

ukbrit

Hello there, I feel your sadness, I am sorry. I have a friend that immigrated to Australia back in 1990, she lasted 1 year out there and then they came home to the UK. Ive lived in the US for over 20 years now and still want to come home to the UK. Your children as in my case will play a big part in your throught process, do you move them back or not?? I did do it years ago and now have a bit of a sad situation here, my 19 year old wants to now join the US military, AHHHH and my 15 year old is in high school and got only a few years left of school? what to do? what to do?
In my opinion and its only mine however and im not telling you to do this, however for me it would have been better to get home to the UK before the kids get too old to feel the change, if not then be prepared to live there until you can see them stable on their own. For me its heart wrenching, I cant figure out what to do? Ive got part of me here in the US with my kids and the other begging me to return home to the UK.
I think about it daily, its like in the movie scene in French Kiss, I feel like Im without country?
My advise if any , follow your heart..
Take care and hope all works out.

Elvira

Wise words...... not just *your* opinion...

ukbrit

Hi there, Elvira,

Thanks for the info, however being still married to a US citizen and never divorced is it possible to return without USC? Ive been back and forth for years with no issues. I do not want USC, however have my perm residence here in the USA, got that before I was married.
Any ideas how they treat the 6 months stay in UK then 6 months in US?

Thanks

JAJ

If you intend to spend time outside the U.S. (other than short vacations) and have the option to return, there is only one safe way to do so. Become a naturalized U.S. citizen.

If you are a British citizen it will not affect your U.K. citizenship.

Elvira

Sooner or later you are likely to run out of luck.

And what if circumstances make your "6 months out - 6 months in" impossible?

And what are you hoping to gain by not becoming a USC? If you want to retain PR, you'd still have to file US taxes regardless of where you live. Plus you'd have the added complication of having to MAINTAIN A RESIDENCE in the US...

ukbrit

Thanks for the heads up, however will be filing taxes in both countries, will not have issue with 6months back and forth and will retain property here in the US as a temp rental giving me residence in the US without a problem. I understand your comments on getting USC but really dont think its immperative, but thanks anyhow

Elvira

Look, it ultimately is up to you, but seriously: do at least have a one-time consultation with an immigration attorney to see whether your scenario looks feasible, eg re. "a temp rental giving me residence in the US without a problem".

Also, you may feel confident that you "will not have issue with 6months back and forth" - but what about 10, 20, 30 years from now? What if your children stay in the US, get married, have families? Would it not be easier if you come and go as you please? And potentially be eligible for Medicare benefits whilst 'visiting'?

Not wishing to stick my nose into my business, just urging you to think of all the long-term implications before making an irrevocable decision that may reset your clock as far as eligibility for citizenship is concerned.

All the best

dozy_muppet03

If the kids and hubby are okay then hold out for your citizenship and make that a goal. In the mean time, mingle with expats at British clubs etc, get a job and interact/socialise more. Once you have reached your citizenship then you have empowered not only yourself but also the kids with choice.

90% of all my friends that went to Canada, have at some point returned to the UK, 3/4 of them have since made a beeline back to Canada after realising the mistake they made, the others regretably did not get their citizenship and they really are miserable as sin. Emmigrating means different things to different people and ping ponging sometimes provides us with the clarity to some of the reasons why we innitially left in the first place.


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John


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John

anonomoz

Thanks for all the replies/suggestions/words of wisdom. It certainly helps knowing some people out there know how I feel, cheersx

Shivster

I'd say at least try and stick it out for a year before you make any final decisions. It took me three years away before I started to get homesick but I do understand that once that seed gets planted it does take over everything in your life.

I've also just started on St John's Wort (thanks Jerseygirl). Another thing I'm trying to do in the run up to going back is not live in the past as I have been. I'm trying not to think about my old house that I sold, my great job that I stupidly gave up and I'm trying to think and visualise a more positive future for myself. Constantly thinking about what I had was really effecting me.

ukbrit

Hi there, thanks for the words of wisdom , I agree Ive tried to give it the old collage try so to speak and actually gave it 2 years, its been actua;y 10 years in the making since I have through about going back to the UK. I can safely say I think it time.

Thanks