anonomoz

New to all this but read threads all the time. We have been on the outskirts of Perth for 6 months now and I am still feeling incredibly homesick. We have 4 children all of which seem to have settled no problem(They are all young enough to go with the flow) My OH likes it too but I just want to go home. I miss my family and friends so much

OH doesn't understand and just says that we should never have bothered coming out here in the first place and its all been a waste of time and money (supporting has never been his best asset) I am torn between trying to hold out for citizenship or just go as soon as............

I just don't feel like I could ever feel at home here and at the moment find myself in tears alot. I know the lack of support doesn't help, don't know why I'm posting really, support from the unknown prehaps?!

Dave_Was

I don't know what to say, but I'm in the same boat. I live and work in the US with my wonderful wife and on a day to day situation we're pretty happy, but in a way calling home is always difficult as I feel so homesick afterwards.

I wish I could offer you some advice but really I don't even know what I am going to do myself.

Sometimes it's good to come here and vent and I've found the people here incredibly helpful and supportive.

The logical, which this whole situations isn't, thing to do is to 'really talk' to your OH and find out the situation there. Secondly work out why your felling so out of place. Maybe after that you'll have a better understanding of the situation and can move forward.

For me I love the US but I miss my parents incredibly and when me and my wife have kids, I would want my parents to be a big part of their lives.

Good luck.

Jerseygirl

Hi there...welcome to BE.

I found myself in a similar position...my husband said I if I said the word we all would go back immediately. Funnily enough him saying that gave me the strength to stick it out. As I have said many times on here St John's Wort really helped to lift my depressive mood. I won't go into it all again...but if you use the search function at the top you will find many threads on homesickness, depression, SJW etc.

If you have any problems finding the threads...give me a shout and I'll take a look for you.

Edit: Here is a list of the threads the search came up with:

http://britishexpats.com/forum/searc...earchid=591620

LouiseD

Hi there

I'm so sorry that you are feeling so homesick - it's strange but in all the planning, excitement and looking forward to a new life, we just can't imagine ever being homesick when we are going to such a wonderful place like Australia.

You just can't help how you feel though and time may make it easier, you may grow to love the place or learn to deal with the homesickness.

On the other hand things may get so bad that you decide to call it a day and return home. Either way though don't blame yourself or feel that you have failed in any way. You can't possibly know how you are going to feel until you live it. You can't know if you will like it or not unless you try it.

I certainly found it helped to write down my feelings on here when I was in Oz last year - just getting it down through the keyboard and knowing that others understood where I was coming from was so theraputic.

Do you have any friends or colleagues that you could talk to at all? When we are down and worried, we all need someone just to offload to - even if no constructive advice is given, it helps to talk.

Good luck

mand8002

Sorry you are so homesick, I remember it well. I was dreadfully homesick when we first came, not for the place, but for the people. I too was on the verge of going back and had decided that we would. Once this decision was made, there was no pressure to settle and a couple of months later realised that I liked it here, had got over the homesickness and did not want to go. We moved rentals as we did not like the one we were in, and from day one in our new one I felt settled. Well, we have been here over 2 years now and love it. We have just bought our first home and are very happy.

I never thought I would get over the homesickness, but am glad I did. I hope it all works out for you too. Two years is a long time when you are unhappy but I personally would hang on for citizenship, as you hear of people going back to UK only to return again, and citizenship would give you that choice.

Amanda

northernbird

Sorry you are having a hard time. Have you been out and about much and made any friends. I am in Perth, NOR. PM me if you fancy a coffee and a chat.

TraceyW

Welcome to Expats

Homesickenss is such an awful feeling I know, but a lot of people do get over these feelings along the way, so keep faith that you will be one of those people. I hope you are.

So, I would talk very openly with your husband and explain how you feel. Give him a choice; if he supports you and tries to understand how you feel, you will do everything you can to stay for another 6 months and then assess the situation. Or, if he comes out with flippant remarks about all of this being a waste of time and effort, agree with him, pack the stuff up, book the flights and go back home!!!

lisaloo

Hi sorry you feel this way and i know exactly how you feel and so want to sell up and go home....I'm not at home here, i wake up every day trying to be positive but somehow i cant....I'm holding on until my citizenship in Febbut if i had my time again and new what i know i wouldnt have come....

Take care..xxx

JAJ

She cannot take the children back to the United Kingdom without either his permission or an order from the Family Court.

Jerseygirl

Out of interest what would happen if the mother took the children back to the UK and became a resident again...could the father force the children to return to Oz/NZ/US etc?

JAJ

Under the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of Intercountry Child Abduction, the short answer is yes.

http://www.hcch.net/index_en.php?act...ns.text&cid=24

I would suggest (although only a good lawyer would confirm) that if an child is brought to live in Australia with a migrant visa, that would change the child's "habitual residence" to Australia.

Jerseygirl

Thank you. I always assumed custody would revert to the country of birth.

scatty

HI

Please do not despair. I can feel your pain, been there done it myself, I am sure as time goes by you will slowly start to settle. It is early days yet and such a big step. Have you a web cam, if not get one and get your family to get one it will make all the difference to see them speak to you

Try to join a group or two, set aside part of the day for you and only you and choose a hobby to pursue that way you will meet and make friends and sure it will help

busterboy

where in Melbourne are you?

yellowbrickroad

Hi, I hope I can offer some support.

You say you have four children, if I may ask, how old are they?
I ask this because its often easier to move children when they are younger, because when they get older and have made friends they have an opinion, which children dont often have when they are younger.

Also, do you run the risk of them loosing out on their education by either staying in Austraila or going back to the UK?

It may help you and your husband decide what to do. It helped me.
x