Mummy in the foothills

I must be doing something wrong then. Whenever I shop in UK I get the cheery checkout lady, who asks how it's going and smiles and is quite chatty
It doesn't really bother me, so long as it seems genuine, not the "have a nice day" I get from some grumps here.
Thinking about it, I think it's an eye contact thing. I make eye contact, they talk. I must try keeping my head down next time I'm in UK

stm1971

[QUOTE=Heljinder;7936715]
Anyway....

stm1971 - getting the boys into a school out of catchment was easy, especially for my eldest. I had to appeal to get my four year old in though, but he was accepted straight away. It's a rural village school in a very affluent area so unless you're a village kid or are prepared to make the car journey everyday the numbers stay quite low. He had a much better day today, and has made friends with non-footballing boys. His school in Perth did very well by him in the end, so I've no real complaints there.

QUOTE]

Thanks Heljinder. I have to admit my main worry at the moment is getting the kids into decent schools. I suppose a lot will depend on where we end up but it's good to know it can be done.

Hope things continue to look up for your son.

quoll

Super to hear that things are going well for you!

That "alive" feeling is amazing when you get it I think!

Good to hear that your sons are settling - of course it will take a bit of time, as it would in either direction for most kids but, as you say, the thought of moving them again so soon could be tricky.

Heljinder

Thanks quoll,

This whole education thing is so high on my agenda, that I'm thinking that I might research homeschooling if we were to move again. I've heard all the arguments for and against, but the resources and support networks are really good. It would take some planning, but it's something which could be an option.

I feel bad for eldest at the moment having taken him out of a school he was happy in, in to one which he's not. I know it's still early days, but because of the nature of the school (close knit village) most the kids have known each other since reception and frequently forget to include him in their games. He's a shy boy so coming forward isn't easy for him. It's all quite heartbreaking in that respect at the moment.

I don't regret coming back for one minute, because we all need to be happy, which I wasn't in Aus, and I don't think I ever would be. If the boys see me happy and content then hopefully that will give them the confidence to get through.

Such is life....

king kong

its making me feel all ''fluffy '' inside thinking about it , just like a nice pair of flannelette pyjamas warmed by the fire side by my mum when i was a little un . Take me home baby take me home .If that dont make the godzoners vomit nothing will.

dunroving

Just remember that warm feeling you get at 3 a.m. in the morning isn't the hot water bottle.

Dan the Plumber

Can I just ask what were your kids reactions when you told them you were going home? I have a boy and girl 10 and 7 and whenever we have approached the subject of going back its met with a barrage of no's!! It was a struggle to get my eldest daughter over here - she really didn't want to leave and now she doesn't want to return!!
Feel stuck in a quandry as don't want to upset the kids but I also don't want to be the world's most miserable bastard for the rest of my life!
I really wish we had never come back to Perth in the first place!!
Dan

Mummy in the foothills

At 10 and 7 aren't they swayed by the idea of seeing the family, cousins, grandparents etc?
I'm sure you can think of someone, old friends maybe that would tempt them not to be so whinny about it.
But I'm the mean mom, I just tell them, oh well, one day you'll be old and can live where you choose.
But my boys want to move and Dd is only 4, she'll be 7 once we get going.

Heljinder

Hi Dan

My eldest was fine about coming back (the youngest is only four so just went with the flow). Eldest initially loved Australia, then started to cool towards it, and to this day I don't know why. I think he may have been driven by my feelings which I did try to hide, but he knows me too well.

I think a lot depends on what type of personalities your children have. My eldest has quite a passive personality and consequently will just go along with whatever is decided - poor thing! This made the decision making process easier, but had he vocalised loudly that he'd wanted to stay then I would have found it really really hard to move back. Only because, if he voices something loudly and passionately then I really know that he means business. But, at 8 he's still only a child and he has to go along with what his parents decide, so the line of authority in terms of who makes the decisions has to be drawn somewhere - horribly hard though.

We came back sooner rather than later, because i didn't want to get to the point of a possible 'no return'. It's a different ball game when kids turn into teenagers.

In our case, I was very unhappy about the prospect of making a permanent home in Australia. There was no way I could have stayed long term, and the thought of retiring there was just too scary. We had to say to ourselves in the end, we're the adults and having had the most life experience, we'll make the decisions however painful they may be. We'll be quite happy for our boys to go off were ever they choose when they're adults, but for now they go where we go, with as minimum disruption as possible.

At the moment my son isn't very happy at his new school, and I feel really guilty at taking him away from his old school where he was happier. But hopefully he'll settle soon. If not, then we'll cross that bridge if/when we get to it, but one thing's for sure we won't move abroad again.

Not sure this helps in any way. I really hope all goes well with you, and you reach some kind of decision you're all happy with.

jonfrank123

Bring em back!!, at that age they would have forgotten about Australia within 6 months or less.

Dan the Plumber

Thanks for your reply!
I know in my heart that it's (obviously!) the parents decision although that is so often a tough one! My daughter is pretty passive too, but she really seems so adament that she's not going back to UK. I think its the freedom in the school that they both love here, they think its much stricter in England (which isn't a bad decision in my opinion!!)
Its just tough to see things through a kids eyes I suppose, and of course we all want them to be happy! I'm sure your son will settle in in school soon, its always going to be hard when its a small school and I guess they don't have many 'new kids'. That was one reason i think my daughter was scared about coming to a new school here - although its the opposite , there's probably a new kid starting every day!
I think as parents if we were at each others throats every day about it then the kids wouldn't think twice about wanting to go home, we rarely fight and certainly try not to discuss any of this in front of them...Perhaps thats where we're going wrong!!
Anyway I'm sure it'll work out - I'm going over in October just to sort my feelings out for the place once and for all!!
Good luck to you too in any decisions you make!
Dan

Dan the Plumber

Yep you're probably right!

ezzie

...and take them now. We have 16 & 14 yr olds with huge friendship groups and boyfriend/girlfriends. We're trapped forever! Do it now please.

Dan the Plumber

Yes I think they are but this is life here through a child's eyes, you know good weather (meaning more outdoor play) beach on doorstep etc etc..of course they would like to see family but they don't miss them as an adult would.
I could be completely harsh and say bugger you lot we're going I'm simply trying to get advice from others who are or have been in a similar situation. Its just easier to not upset the apple cart if you can help it!
My kids certainly arn't whining about anything - if anyone is its me!
Dan

stm1971

Oh Ezzie, does that post mean the move is off now? I think from reading your previous posts that you really do want to go home but are unsure about uprooting your children from all they have ever known.

You may think you are trapped now but your kids are 16 and 14, they are still children so you do have time. Once they are older, married and have children, that's when you will be trapped.

I know it is hard to make this decision, my eldest is 13 and does not remember the UK and I have the same concerns as you. But who knows what will happen in the future. The kids may end up travelling and settling somewhere in Europe if we stay, if we go back they may come back to Australia. Where will that leave us, where do we ultimately want to be?