Going back for a funeral

Old Dec 11th 2009, 1:53 pm
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Default Going back for a funeral

Hello

Two days ago my father died, I am devastated. I have just returned from a visit home. I planned to go back next year permanently and hoped he had a few good more years. We return this weekend and although we have only been in Canada for 9 months so much has changed, everything has changed .........

I don't know what I'm doing here

I am feeling every emotion today, guilt, sadness and regret

Claire
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 1:59 pm
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Default Re: Going back for a funeral

Originally Posted by claire600 View Post
Hello

Two days ago my father died, I am devastated. I have just returned from a visit home. I planned to go back next year permanently and hoped he had a few good more years. We return this weekend and although we have only been in Canada for 9 months so much has changed, everything has changed .........

I don't know what I'm doing here

I am feeling every emotion today, guilt, sadness and regret

Claire
Dearest Claire

I am so truly sorry for your loss.

I completely understand how you feel-its happened to me and my husband.

We have both lost our Mums and one of the Dads since we came to Canada in 2002- I have my Dad back a t home in UK and I too have experienced all of the feelings you describe- its soo -ooo hard.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
xxxxxx
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 2:22 pm
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Default Re: Going back for a funeral

Awww (((hugs))) It does sort of change your attitude and feelings about where you are when the loved ones die.
I had both my father and Step father go within a few weeks of each other in 07 and it really has shaken me, enough so that I wanted to solidify our moving home plans. If it wasn't for kids in college and high school I'd have happily shipped everyone home in a day.
Take care and be gentle with yourself, it's very hard when you are so far away from family.
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 2:53 pm
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Default Re: Going back for a funeral

That sucks. There is no easy way to lose a loved one. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 3:40 pm
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Default Re: Going back for a funeral

Totally understand what you're feeling. It too happened to me whilst I was living in Australia.

My heart goes out to you.
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 3:46 pm
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Default Re: Going back for a funeral

Just another reply to offer sympathies and say I'm thinking of you. My dad is 87 and I'm going back to see him at Christmas and completely understand what you mean about looking at making decisions to spend time with them etc. I am sure your father, although he would have missed you, would have wanted the very best for you with the adventure you have been on, and wouldn't have wanted you to have missed that on his part. There is no easy way to come to terms with the loss of a parent but for now your concentration can be purely on remembering and celebrating what a great life he had. Much love.
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 4:01 pm
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Default Re: Going back for a funeral

thank you everyone - it really is a roller coaster of emotions

My dad died on his 79th birthday ... I was expecting and hoping he would have a few more good years as his brothers are in there 80's and 90's

I am so grateful that I just spent 2 weeks over there on a pre Christmas visit and I got to spend a lot of time with my parents.

Being away from family has really made me appreciate them and when I have visited we have had quality time together.

But I know you understand that as only BE's could

Thank you

Claire
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 4:14 pm
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Default Re: Going back for a funeral

Originally Posted by claire600 View Post
Hello

Two days ago my father died, I am devastated. I have just returned from a visit home. I planned to go back next year permanently and hoped he had a few good more years. We return this weekend and although we have only been in Canada for 9 months so much has changed, everything has changed .........

I don't know what I'm doing here

I am feeling every emotion today, guilt, sadness and regret

Claire
I'm so sorry for your loss....it's so awful being away at difficult times. Surround with people that care about you if you can. It's the best tonic eh?
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 6:42 pm
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Default Re: Going back for a funeral

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss and my thoughts go to you and your family. I think the issue of parents getting older and that feeling of 'was that the last time I'll see them?' when we go home for visits is a very real one and in then can mean more than Tescos, the countryside, culture any of the myriad reasons we list for wanting to return.

One thing moving away has done for me is given me a much better appreciation of the relationship I have with my parents and how fragile the threads of our lives are when we move away.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss but I'm sure you are so pleased that you had that visit earlier and that holiday will provide a lovely lasting memory of your Father.
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 6:51 pm
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Default Re: Going back for a funeral

sorry for your loss
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 7:20 pm
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Default Re: Going back for a funeral

Originally Posted by claire600 View Post
Hello

Two days ago my father died, I am devastated. I have just returned from a visit home. I planned to go back next year permanently and hoped he had a few good more years. We return this weekend and although we have only been in Canada for 9 months so much has changed, everything has changed .........

I don't know what I'm doing here

I am feeling every emotion today, guilt, sadness and regret

Claire
My deepest sympathies go out to you. Really sorry to hear about your lose its never easy and especially when you live abroad.
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Old Dec 11th 2009, 7:52 pm
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Default Re: Going back for a funeral

Originally Posted by kwazywabbit View Post
My deepest sympathies go out to you. Really sorry to hear about your lose its never easy and especially when you live abroad.
I feel so sorry for you, my mum died in February & I miss her so much. I did not see her last Christmas.

My feelings go out to you & blessings

L. Wendy xx
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Old Dec 12th 2009, 12:16 am
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Default Re: Going back for a funeral

So sorry for your loss Claire - I lost my dad 4 months after moving to Canada - I know how you are feeling and my thoughts are with you.
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Old Dec 12th 2009, 12:27 am
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Default Re: Going back for a funeral

So sorrt for your loss,it's so hard when you are so far away from loved ones.
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Old Dec 12th 2009, 8:42 pm
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Default Re: Going back for a funeral

I am so sorry for the loss of your dad, my dad passed away many years ago, but I always was and always will be daddy's girl. Remember the good times, surround yourself with friends, family and love.
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