Re: Going back? 50/50
 

Your completely right, What I find I miss most is sincerity and integrity. It’s no good being all friendly on the outside when its just a veneer. Ok so the British are maybe a bit more reluctant when it comes to thrusting themselves onto new people but when you do make an new acquaintance or friend there is a much greater level of depth to it. To give you some idea what I’m on about, the missus was having trouble meeting people and mentioned it to the woman over the road, No problem she says I’m having a get together next week come and join in, Well guess what it was a Tupperware party with only 2 other people there. There was a huge amount of pressure to buy something so she had no choice but to buy. I know this sounds like a daft example but it just about sums up our experience here at making new friends. You only seem wanted so long as you bring your purse along. I could repeat this tale for about 6 other incidents along the same lines, each time it was just a racket to screw some money out of us. This just never seemed to be the case back home and is a major pull for us to return. Back home we could make friends at the drop of a hat, proper ones too, it seemed easy. Now we have just about given up because it just doesn’t seem possible.

Re: Going back? 50/50
 

Can totally relate to where you're coming from. For me, people wanted to know me when we were studying the same subjects and they wanted to pick my brains or when I was able to put them onto a job.

We even 'socialised' a bit , had dinners and drinks at each others places but the feeling was that it was all very superficial and 'warm and fuzzy' and that nobody really opened up to each other or just dropped by on the spur of the moment to see you. All sort of organised and a bit distant.

Re: Going back? 50/50
 

I'm no longer invited to the round of tupperware/enyo/expensive tat parties as I have no cash to buy with and can't make small talk about sewing and scrapbooks! Not my thing really!!
I am gradually discovering that the people that I have most in common with - and who reciprocate most with overtures of friendship, are either fellow expats or people with roots and many family members overseas. Mates from work are - a fellow Expats poster, a girl with a large family in Ireland that she visits frequently, an older lady who has spent some years teaching English in China & been to Europe a few times, a girl with a large family hanging on to their Indian roots, and a Kiwi. Those that I see as "pure" Aussie just don't "click" with me.
Funnily enough I even discovered this week that the guy who interviewed me for my current job, and who is a sort of unofficial workplace mentor (and highly amusing sparring partner) - is half-English and proud of it. That explains why we share a good laugh at least twice a day, whilst those around us just look confused.
-------------------------------

The "tagline" I have on my signature got picked up this week by someone at work, too - I have the whole poem stuck to the wall by my desk.
The lady who saw it has been in Australia for many years, and is Polish. She has always seemed remote, in control, and aloof. Till this week when she sat at my desk, read the poem, and bawled her heart out on my shoulder for several minutes. Poor soul, what could I say, except that I know how she feels.
Magic doesn't work in this new place.
Native poetry has lost rhythm and rhyme.
Familiar food is labled a curiosity,
And hostile stares replace familial love.
To be an immigrant
Is to be solitary in the midst of millions.

Re: Going back? 50/50
 

I find a lot of people here are pushing religion. You think they want to be your friend, but they're actually trying to sell you a used car, so to speak.

Re: Going back? 50/50
 

You have that by your desk? D'you think that's the reason the Aussies in your office don't connect with you?

And on a completely different note, I remember arriving in Perth for a 3 month stay back in 1990. The officer took one look at our immigration forms, which stated our country of origin as "Great Britain". Saying nothing at all, he took a pen and crossed out 'Great'. That was our first experience of Aussie hospitality!
We loved Australia, we didn't find people friendly or not freindly really, they were just abit well neutral. In the hostels, and indeed throughout our round the world trip, we always hung out with the Kiwis, they were great, very adventurous and always up for a larf.
(Funnily enough the ones we never liked much were the yanks. They were either way out there wierd, or really really boring & straight laced!)

Re: Going back? 50/50
 

We have just read your thread and my hubby and I are in hysterics coz we have been convinced that for the 18 months we have been in Oz we are on the Truman Show!

We have had so much bad luck, and the recent bout of hubby crashing and writing off his motor bike, along with being made redundant a week later and we have a baby due in 8 weeks now we need convincing that we aren,t on it!

Anyhow think its made a decision for us that we have been thinking about the whole time here, back to blighty for us, normality and people with characters and lives!!!!


I fully understand! :beer: you wanna try living in Toowoomba for 18 months! AAARRRRHHHHHH

Re: Going back? 50/50
 

No, as its in the corner and not noticed unless you search amongst the other junk I have there! Until this lady saw it noone else had - I've since been asked why she was in tears and a few of the Aussies have actually chatted about it, and about how it realy feels to be a stranger in a strange land.

Classic this week, from one of the main players in the Cyclone Larry recovery project up in Far North Queensland. He was at Emergency Services (where I work) in Brisbane, for a major speech day, and he very kindly thanked "all my fellow Australians" for their work in helping people after the devastation. Two of us Brits, who have worked our socks off over the last few months, just looked at each other resignedly.......certainly made us feel part of the team. :(

Re: Going back? 50/50
 

Nooooooooooo, spare me! I've spent a week just outside Kingaroy, that nearly made me suicidal :eek:

Re: Going back? 50/50
 

I totally agree with your opinions here. The yanks I've met have been as you say, though I did find them a lot more friendlier than australians, who seem rather flat 2 dimensional and detached characters.

Re: Going back? 50/50
 

ok I am being nosey here.....what's with these places you guys seem to lovvvvvvvvveee...NOT !!!

come on fill me in Polly...!! please... ;)

Re: Going back? 50/50
 

OK, I'll try - size of a large UK country village - bit less than Ringmer size maybe (I'm guessing you might know it, being that end of the world!). They call it a town.
3 pubs, which have a couple of old blokes propping up the bar, give you a funny look if are female and want a beer, and close at about 8pm...... (I went in one with my best mate - he's young and gay - you could hear a pin drop, it was better than Priscilla!!)
MIL lives in a small creaky wooden house, no fly screens, typical QLd, doors open till bedtime (8pmish) lights on over doors to attract insects in but lights off inside cos "it costs money you know".
House full of v old dusty furniture, can't walk round properly. Only chair I am allowed to use is small and has a hard upright back,

Small expensive supermarket, newsagents open about 2 hours a day. Swimming pool shut 10 months of the year as locals believe its too cold......
Motel serves dinner one night a week - Thursday - so you can't take the MIL out for a meal at the weekend - we could drive into Kingaroy but its about 20 miles, much tooooo far at night :rolleyes: Can't go to the pub for a beer - The Bloke looks scandalised if I suggest it :eek:

I feel trapped there. Stifled. Noone laughs, or has fun, everying talks about who is dying or gives you graphic details of their operations. The whole air of the place is depression. It could be beautiful, some lovely countryside around, but we don't go and see it - petrol costs too much. Stifled really is the best word for the way I feel. I feel trapped enough in Brisbane, but going there I really feel like I'm in gaol. I encourage The Bloke to go, as I know his mum wants to see us, but I dread it, I can't help it, even though I first went there with high hopes.

Does that give you an idea?!!

Not sure about Toowoomba - looks nice when you drive through it, but its a long way from Brissie, I'm guessing that though bigger, it will be much the same as The Bloke's home village. (sorry if you're reading this dear :scared: )

Re: Going back? 50/50
 

Thanks Polly.....mmmh sort of thing you read in Bill Bryson books..!! lol...sorry just can picture the scene so clearly..!!!

:)

Re: Going back? 50/50
 

and australia ia big NASA project like the trumann show.... but with utes and scruffy dogs

ha ha had to laugh at that comment as it struck me the same way but i kept coming back so choose wisely....

Re: Going back? 50/50
 

Thats about right! Small town Australia at its most stagnant :eek:
I remember one trip there - MIl took us to the "town market day" as there would be "lots to see and buy".
It turned out to be a dozen wooden tables with misshapen vegetables, stodgy cakes, and homemade toys, set up on a bit of grass by the little supermarket. She went round comparing the prices of everyones veg, told us we should buy up the mangos or something that were really cheap (and looked it!) and then suggested I buy some of the toys for my nieces and nephew. Bless her, she meant well, but I had this image of a 12 yr old play station addict and a 10 yr old into trendy hair stuff.......somehow this misshapen stuffed woolly dolls didn't QUITE fit in..........Even the 5 year old wouldn't have been impressed - not quite Helicopter-using Animal Hospital!

Its a different world, and I'm afraid its not a world for me :confused: I should've known I was in for trouble when she gave us a mattress protector as a wedding present! :eek:

Re: Going back? 50/50
 

Sounds a nightmare, the sort of place that if you lived there for 30 years or so, the locals might just decide to say hello to you when the seen you at the shops!

Unfortuantely, in my experience this sort of attitude extends on a somewhat less confronting manner in other parts of OZ.