Mallory

Don't be too hard on the in-laws! My auntie and uncle had their daughter and family coming over from Vancouver one summer. They were so excited, and even went out and bought new carpet, sheets, etc. Their only grandsons would be coming to stay! They were excited about the trip for months. It ended up they didn't even stay with them, and did their own thing. My A and U never got over it! There was no malice intended, it was just different expectations.

So try to understand them - I guess your in-laws personal expectations weren't met, and it ballooned out of control in their heads.

You will never please everyone, because I've been down that street too! You just have to live with it.

Brat1

I can understand the expectations on their side were maybe different to ours, but what I won't forgive, is the way that they went about it. If they had an issue which what we'd done, or not done as the case is, they could have pulled us to the side and spoken to us, not a problem. So much as I understand probably where it came from, their outburst, in front of my kids was bang out of order. We knew before we went that there would be an issue at some point, just didn't expect it to erupt as it did and now we'll just have to play it by ear and hope that once they've calmed down a bit, they'll understand that we were only trying to get round as many of the family as we could in the little time that we had.

CAdreaming

interesting that you found Glasgow different from how you remembered it. I went to london yesterday for the first time since March. (i visit my mum in Middlesbro when i visit but lived in London for 25 years or so)
I was London's greatest supporter - LOVED living there - loved the noise and the madness all the crowds and the general "cityness" of it

OMG did i actually LIVE there (I actually only made it to the suburbs- Borehamwood, Stanmore, Golders, finchley etc) but wow it looked different (or did it? am i looking at it with different eyes? ) It was grey and everyone had their heads down rushing around and it was busy and a bit grim!!! It cant have changed!!!! Maybe I have tho......maybe those Redwoods are getting to me....hmmmm

And Arrrrrggghhhh the tube!!! NO NO NO!!! I used it twice a day for YEARS!! Stood up and never thought a thing really - but it was AWFUL!!!
Didnt Samuel Johnston say when a man is tired of London he's tired of life?? Blimey

Brat - glad you had a good time with your family and sorry it wasnt so great with the inlaws

penguinbar

Don't beat yourself up over this.

Brat1

You know, maybe you're right. Maybe the place hasn't changed but because Glasgow and where I live now are so different, maybe I'm just used to what I've got here. Or maybe I just didn't notice what was around me before I moved, I have no clue.................

md95065

No, it has changed - but so have you ...

Ash UK/US

Interesting how 'opinions' change, from my first serious mention of moving to the US most of my family and friends were super excited wishing me well etc etc, once I moved and on return visits that certainly changed and true colour have been shown more than once.

CAdreaming

same for me- on my visits back ive found out who my true friends are...and it is most unexpected!!!

Poppy girl

Totally agree

cindyabs

You ARE a little monkey!

Steerpike

Ugh ... your story is painful to read! Sorry you had to go through that!

I went back for 'the holidays' (which I think is a perfectly reasonable shorthand for "Christmas and New Year" ) only once, back in the 80s. The weather was utterly miserable - cold, windy, damp, drizzling. Everyone seemed miserable. It seemed like the whole time was spent worrying about who we had Christmas lunch with, Christmas dinner with, and so on. No one seemed happy. I suffered through it and vowed never to return, and never have (for the holiday period).

I now go back occasionally in the summer when the weather is better, and when the 'obligations' are fewer (about once every 5 years). But most of the time, I bring the family over. Luckily (I guess!) for me, all my family love coming over, and I can afford to pay for their tickets, so they come just about every year and we all have a good time (and I put them in a hotel - an absolute must for me). Even my nieces, who I never saw growing up, now love to visit and seem to want to come back every year, which is great.

My biggest challenge now is my mom; she's in her 80s, and it's getting harder and harder to get her insurance for her trips; she was even told by her current source that they won't be able to cover her at all after 85, which sucks. Once she can't come over, I'll go back to see her ...

lisa67

I announced to my OH and the kids on Christmas day, that i thought we should go to the UK next Christmas......Now I'm beginning to wonder if this is a good idea. Luckily I haven't told anyone else of my plans and won't until we've made a firm decision.

Brat1

I think you're absolutely right, and I don't think I would do the whole Christmas thing again. Going back in the Summer when you've got half a chance of better weather, and hopefully people not looking so miserable, seems more appealing................

Brat1

Lisa, don't let my story put you off. I think this is a "family" thing and we kind of knew that there would be an issue, or issues, at some point and unfortunately, were proved right. I enjoyed most of the time we had there, with the people that matter and I'm sure there are just as many, who go home for Christmas and don't go through any of the crap we did. Do what you think is right for you, I'm sure you'll have a blast

lisa67

Thanks, I tend to do things on my terms when we go over anyway. Just don't know if I need the hassle, but my parents aren't getting any younger etc. Etc.
I'll think on it some more.