Originally Posted by Jumbo_Celcius

Did anyone watch the recent BBC series "Life On Mars"?
"My name is Jumbo Celcius. I fell asleep on a plane and woke up in 1973. Was I mad, or in a coma or just in Perth?


Well folks, below is my final rant on Perth, please read the disclaimer first

Disclaimer:
The information below is provided as a guide only and may not be used (TraceyW, I'm looking at you!) or disclosed except for the purpose for which it has been posted.
Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events is completely intended.......so sue me.
If you feel that you have been offended by any of this, then go call the Samaritans 'cos you won't get any sympathy here.

Come to Perth they said, it's beautiful and the lifestyle is fantastic, it has Australias best beaches (lies), the cost of living's cheaper (more lies), lovely cafe strips (supreme lies), plenty of nightlife (this is just getting completey ridiculous lies, bordering on delusional).

So I packed up my things, waved goodbye to the homeland and set off on the long haul to the planets bottom (literally).

Subiaco - where do I start - I'll tell you where you start. Head West out of the CBD along Hay St, when the building numbers reset to 1, you're in "Subi".
Cool, trendy Subi with it's "cosmopolitan cappuccino strip" and "fashionable boutiques". Were the tourist board smoking crack when they wrote this?
Watch out Paris, Subi is taking over. The Parisians would have a word for "Subi"........that word is "merde".
And now they're going to knock down two of the reasons I used to even bother going there (The Lords Sport centre and the "cinema") to build more sh!tty overpriced cardboard box flats so that those shallow idiots can buy one and say they live in "Subi".

Fremantle - See the bit above about "cosmopolitan cappuccino strip" it's like "Subi" but on the water. Try the "famous fish & chips" at the harbour....famous for being over priced crap. While you eat them you can gaze upon the pen!s extensions in the harbour.

Leederville - "Subi" wanna be, and if that's what it's aspiring to be I'm not even gonna waste my time writing about it.

Joondalup - There's passport control at the start of Grand Boulevard - if you don't have a British one you're not allowed in.

Rockingham - I felt like I needed a shower when I left there and there's been enough previous post about this already.

Mandurah - Did anyone go to the Crab Fest? What a complete and utter over rated steaming pile of cow's shee-ite.

Perth In General:
I have never had so many people trying to rip me off since I was in Nigeria, in a final insult, that fcuckers at Optus charged me a $170 disconnection fee for my phone!! Also pretending to be friendly when they're trying to screw you over, "don't call me mate, I'm not ur ****ing mate, if you don't stop patronising me we are going to become mortal enemies".

People getting annoyed when you tell them you're leaving and calling the UK a sh!thole. "The lifestyle" they cry in unison in an almost brainwashed like fashion. Trying to convince you that leaving a perfectly happy
life for less money, a worse house, more expensive, lower quality food and clothes in a isolated hick town will make you happy. I seriously fell out with one person over this before leaving and nearly lost if with a few more. My "leaving night" was hell, everybody went on the whole night about how I was making a mistake and "how could you not love this", another thing, why do people always hold their hands up gesturing at the surroundings when saying
"Look at it, how could you not love this".
All I see is tacky, dated buildings and graffitti, "Look at the weather though" they say.....screw the unbearable heat, Afghanistan is sunny, do you want to move there?
"Rachim, why do you want to go to the UK, it's a sh!thole, look at it here <holding arms up>, it's sunny!"

The abbreviations and slang they use..bikie, workie, garbo, servo, using it in the media and on the news too, could you imagine Trevor McDonald saying the some famous person was unable to attend an event because he's "crook"!!

Abo's asking for money all the time. Yes, they did get ****ed over but if they had their head screwed on they could seriously push for land & mineral rights etc and make some cash, then I could start asking them for $5 since they say it's their country therefore that's who I'm asking for a refund from.

Australia Day - I particularly liked it when they flew the big swastika...whoops, sorry I mean FLAG over the river from a helicoptor before the fireworks. I'm surprised there wasn't an announcement ordering everyone to bow in front of it!!

Over rated, over priced, over hyped restaurants. Every dish is "famous" when it's just a cheap, lower quality imitation from somewhere else in the world.

Kangaroos, at first I thought they were cool, after a while I just look at them hopping around and think, **** sake why are you jumping around in this heat, take a gentle stroll instead, it's not as if you're in a rush to get anywhere!!

In summary, it's the most socially & culturally backward, boring, over hyped dump with tacky buildings, grafitti and false internationally unaware racist idiots on the planet and all the sunshine and beaches in the world isn't going to make a difference


Thank you and goodnight.

Jimbo - Pioneer of truth and citizen of the world.

Originally Posted by Jumbo_Celcius

Did anyone watch the recent BBC series "Life On Mars"?
"My name is Jumbo Celcius. I fell asleep on a plane and woke up in 1973. Was I mad, or in a coma or just in Perth?

Originally Posted by Hutch

Never been to Perth, so can't comment one way or the other on that - but thoroughly enjoyed your rant.

Originally Posted by livinginwa

You are so off the mark, and havent a clue about anything.

Seems your assumptions are made on eating out and drinking.

There is so much to do, but then you done it all already havent you.

Only thing I agree with you is cost of living but then I find it cheaper than Uk anyhow.

I got a sticker for you, " IF you dont like it , **** off" you wont be missed. done all this ranting before, your dillusional and full of wind.

Originally Posted by nicola411

Mate you obviously fit in so well in WA I mean how many times have you been asked not to post in here?????

Gosh you are either incredibly thick or blind.

Originally Posted by nicola411

In summary, it's the most socially & culturally backward, boring, over hyped dump with tacky buildings, grafitti and false internationally unaware racist idiots on the planet and all the sunshine and beaches in the world isn't going to make a difference




That is exactly what I am going to say to people when they ask why we have come home. But I will add one thing to the list and that is living, breathing and dressing in the 80's.

Well done Jumbo at least your out of here.

Originally Posted by JULIEROSE

But I will add one thing to the list and that is living, breathing and dressing in the 80's.

:

Originally Posted by sunbather

Why shouldn't he be posting in here? Surely everyone is entitled to an opinion.

Originally Posted by nicola411

Well sunbather if you kept up to date with what goes on in moving back to the UK forum you would realise he is very agressive