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Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
Hi, this is my first time on here. I just read your article on the home page Tracey and it described exactly how I feel. Me and my boyfriend moved to Vancouver 2.5 years ago and had our first child here last year. Although we've been back a few times and had family over here it isn't the same and I feel that she is missing out on her large family in the UK. If it was still just the two of us I think I would have been back in the UK by now, I didn't realise how homesick I would be (it's the same story with my boyfriend, he loves it here and would be gutted if we went back to the UK). The only thing that stops me from going back is the yob/knife culture, and what's been discussed on here, i.e. the attitude of kids nowadays. I wonder if my daughter will be better off if we stay in Canada, but then I wonder if I stay will I have this unhappy homesick feeling forever?
I'm sorry I can't offer you any words of comfort after having returned to the UK, except I wish I was there right now. And it's interesting to hear other people's stories having returned. It would be interesting to here how things go as time goes on. All the best. Karen |
Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
Originally Posted by karenrichardson
(Post 7146971)
The only thing that stops me from going back is the yob/knife culture, and what's been discussed on here, i.e. the attitude of kids nowadays.
Bev :) |
Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
There have been a few incidents close to my sister's home and a couple of my younger nephews haven't been very law abiding themselves recently. I know what you mean though, it's not good to go by what you read in the news but what your own experiences have been when living there. But it does seem that young people here have a better attitude than those in the UK. Some of my family think I would be mad to return to the UK, but that's easy for them to say.
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Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
Originally Posted by TraceyW
(Post 6961024)
Hi guys, thanks for the advice:wub:
I have been to see her teacher, several times, and A is more than coping with the work. In fact she's way above most of the kids. I'm not saying she's a superbrain, she's just a bright kid, both our kids are, they've had a good start in Oz as their old school was great. Anyway, according to A (my girl) when I ask why she doesn't like the school she just says she thinks the kids are weird and she has no friends and she prefers her old school and misses her old friends. I know all of the above is completely normal and understandable and it's going to take time for her to adjust. It just rips my heart out to see her unhappy. I will say though, I'm not overly impressed with the school they're going to. I've been in helping out and I've been shocked at the behaviour levels. Also the way kids are taught here is completely different (obviously) and as an Aussie trained teacher i find the lessons here all very regimented and rushed, as if the teacher will cram in as much as poss because they have so many learning objectives to hit. It's nowhere near as relaxed. Maybe that's another thing A is finding hard to deal with. Time will tell. I'm just really sorry at the moment that I'm putting our kids, and my hubby, through this as it was only me that wanted to return, they were all very happy in Oz. Now I have an unhappy child and a husband who despite really enjoying retraining, would still move back to oz in a heartbeat given half a chance. Need a bucket filled with sand so I can bury my head Hi Tracey, We left the UK 12.5 years ago but have been back for numerous holidays over the years so I have up to date experience. Generally I find The UK does have a more widespread thug mentality amongst the young, and they are indeed less respectful and ill mannered than their Aussie peers. That is just a reality of the UK. Being a parent myself I would not consider raising and educating our son in the UK. It is not a very good country for children to grow up in. It is an utter mistruth perpetuated on this forum that UK state schools some how provide a better level of education than Australian schools do. The UK state system is obsessed with meeting benchmarks and targets. It does not nurture the well being of the child. As you noted we have also found the Australian state system to be very good. I feel the life we have in Australia offers far more for our son and provides activities and interests/experiences that are certainly more affordable and accessible here. Have you perhaps considered transferring your two bright children (or at least daughter) into a fee-paying school? We have friends in Colchester Essex who recently moved both their (aged 11 and 14 out of what is considered the best state school in Colchester (Philip Morant). They are now paying 5000GBP and 8000GBP for the privilege. Based on salaries my Wife and I would earn in the UK we just could not afford to go down the private route, where as we can in Australia. My Brother and his wife moved back to the UK with their two sons seven years ago (they now regret it). After experiencing what was on offer they elected to home school their two sons. Do you think that based on your recent experience that you would find pursuing your teaching career In the UK state system would be enjoyable and rewarding? Sorry that this is not a positive post but that is how the UK is. Naturally you being the only family member wanting to return to the UK is going to bring it’s own pressures. And no doubt you are very fortunate to have such a supportive Husband. If I were in your situation I would give it approx six months and if life was not panning out, then begin to re-evaluate the family position. Spending time on BE is probably not the best option either. Perhaps stay off the site for a few months and focus your thoughts and efforts on how you and you family are feeling. Good luck. |
Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
Originally Posted by ahappychappy
(Post 7147462)
Hi Tracey,
We left the UK 12.5 years ago but have been back for numerous holidays over the years so I have up to date experience. Generally I find The UK does have a more widespread thug mentality amongst the young, and they are indeed less respectful and ill mannered than their Aussie peers. That is just a reality of the UK. Being a parent myself I would not consider raising and educating our son in the UK. It is not a very good country for children to grow up in. It is an utter mistruth perpetuated on this forum that UK state schools some how provide a better level of education than Australian schools do. The UK state system is obsessed with meeting benchmarks and targets. It does not nurture the well being of the child. As you noted we have also found the Australian state system to be very good. I feel the life we have in Australia offers far more for our son and provides activities and interests/experiences that are certainly more affordable and accessible here. Have you perhaps considered transferring your two bright children (or at least daughter) into a fee-paying school? We have friends in Colchester Essex who recently moved both their (aged 11 and 14 out of what is considered the best state school in Colchester (Philip Morant). They are now paying 5000GBP and 8000GBP for the privilege. Based on salaries my Wife and I would earn in the UK we just could not afford to go down the private route, where as we can in Australia. My Brother and his wife moved back to the UK with their two sons seven years ago (they now regret it). After experiencing what was on offer they elected to home school their two sons. Do you think that based on your recent experience that you would find pursuing your teaching career In the UK state system would be enjoyable and rewarding? Sorry that this is not a positive post but that is how the UK is. Naturally you being the only family member wanting to return to the UK is going to bring it’s own pressures. And no doubt you are very fortunate to have such a supportive Husband. If I were in your situation I would give it approx six months and if life was not panning out, then begin to re-evaluate the family position. Spending time on BE is probably not the best option either. Perhaps stay off the site for a few months and focus your thoughts and efforts on how you and you family are feeling. Good luck. |
Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
Ok, little update from moi....
Both kids are now into their new school and it is wonderful to see them go into, and come out of, school happy little chappy's. Their teachers are wonderful, their peers, on the whole, are well mannered nice kids and we are feeling very relieved....phew!!:thumbup: Even the parents are much nicer, they actually smile and speak to me! I still haven't been able to find work, but I shall keep plugging away. Hubby still doing his plumbing training which he is enjoying. The house is still a major work in progress and will be for a few years yet we imagine :eek:. We have finished the bedrooms and we're starting on the downstairs loo next week. We are both very happy armed with a hammer or a paint brush, which is a good job really! The area we are living in is so trouble free and we never feel threatened or worried walking around. It's a small town, surrounded by countryside, and we both feel we've made the right choice. We've got a bit of a social life now, and seeing as we're not major party animals, this suits us just fine. We never really did adapt to the alcohol fueled barbi culture every weekend in Oz. It just wasn't us and we got pretty bored with the sameness week in, week out, and eventually didn't bother very much. We love the thought that we have things planned now: a weekend at a holiday camp in Cornwall for a friends b'day. A weekend in London to see the sights and a show with friends. Camping on the south coast in June. Up to the midlands for B-I-L 40th bash in April......it's great to have something different to do rather than sit in someone's back garden talking the same crap with basically the same people every weekend. We talked the other day, me and hubby, and he admitted to being rather happy back here and we both feel, as long as the job situation and finances pan out ok, we can have a very good life back here. Both the kids have stated they do not want to go back to Oz any more as they refuse to leave their family again! Never thought I'd hear that one, but they so love spending time with their grandparents etc.:wub: So, to anyone else just about to make the big move home, it can be done, it isn't easy and plain sailing and I swear there is such a thing as reverse culture shock! This place isn't perfect, nowhere is, but it's not shallow, fickle or lacking in heritage or history; it has that in bucket loads. It's where we choose to raise our children, surrounded by their loved ones to guide and nurture them. We know they will face challenges and even danger as they are growing into adults, but they would've faced challenges and dangers in Australia. Don't be fooled by the British media, this place hasn't gone to the dogs at all, you just have to choose your areas carefully, just like anywhere in the world. All I do is never buy a newspaper and rarely watch the news, thus ensuring I do not get blindsided by negative claptrap. I am now a firm believer in 'If it doesn't affect me and mine directly...then I ain't interested' For all those still out there battling with the decisions, keep strong. And to those who have finally chosen where they need to be.......isn't it a fantastic f'ing feeling!!!!!:thumbsup: |
Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
Brilliant news Tracey, I'm glad you are feeling better about your move back. I'm up at 5am as I can't sleep at all. Seems incomprehensible thaa few days ago I was having lunch with my family in a lovely country pub, and now am back in Sydney:(
Counting the months until I can post my own 'return update' and I hope it will be a good as yours.:) |
Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
Glad everything's going well, Tracey. :)
Saw an old piece -- June 2008 -- on a study that showed that youth drinking is going down a lot in the UK. But those who are still drinking are drinking more and harder stuff. They put it down, ironically, to tightening rules and enforcement so they can't drink in pubs. Apparently they've started a regulations where bartenders have to ask for age id for anyone who looks under 21, even though the age is 18. In the pubs they sort of behaved or got thrown out. Now they lurk in groups in parks and things and encourage each other to get worse. But it's great to know that most youngsters now are actively avoiding drinking and the drunks. That really reinforces the idea that those with choice need to choose their spot, and as with anywhere, avoid certain places. Got tickets and place booked for our March in Devon. We'll be trying to pretend we're living there to see if there's any serious downsides we haven't thought of. 8 weeks! Bev :) |
Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
Good to hear that things are finally falling into place Tracey! Great to hear that the kids are settled and enjoying their new livess.
I hear you about reverse culture shock - I had that big time after living in PNG for a few years and then moving to central Bristol. I even had a full blown panic attack in the men's suiting department of M & S because of the crowds and the bustle! Doesnt happen when I go home now though, drop me in Leicester Sq and I am the happiest bunny in the world! The work thing will happen - have you thought about getting your foot in the door with some volunteering? It has always been hard to get your foot on the teaching ladder both in UK and in Aus from my experience but once you are on it, the world is your oyster. Onwards and upwards! |
Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
Oh its great to hear that your little people are settling now..You will be amazed the change in them since your post in November....I am sure work will come along for you soon it's so nice to hear that things are starting to fall into place for you all....May this year be your year!
Cheers Cally:) |
Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
Originally Posted by TraceyW
(Post 7149095)
Ok, little update from moi....
Both kids are now into their new school and it is wonderful to see them go into, and come out of, school happy little chappy's. Their teachers are wonderful, their peers, on the whole, are well mannered nice kids and we are feeling very relieved....phew!!:thumbup: Even the parents are much nicer, they actually smile and speak to me! I still haven't been able to find work, but I shall keep plugging away. Hubby still doing his plumbing training which he is enjoying. The house is still a major work in progress and will be for a few years yet we imagine :eek:. We have finished the bedrooms and we're starting on the downstairs loo next week. We are both very happy armed with a hammer or a paint brush, which is a good job really! The area we are living in is so trouble free and we never feel threatened or worried walking around. It's a small town, surrounded by countryside, and we both feel we've made the right choice. We've got a bit of a social life now, and seeing as we're not major party animals, this suits us just fine. We never really did adapt to the alcohol fueled barbi culture every weekend in Oz. It just wasn't us and we got pretty bored with the sameness week in, week out, and eventually didn't bother very much. We love the thought that we have things planned now: a weekend at a holiday camp in Cornwall for a friends b'day. A weekend in London to see the sights and a show with friends. Camping on the south coast in June. Up to the midlands for B-I-L 40th bash in April......it's great to have something different to do rather than sit in someone's back garden talking the same crap with basically the same people every weekend. We talked the other day, me and hubby, and he admitted to being rather happy back here and we both feel, as long as the job situation and finances pan out ok, we can have a very good life back here. Both the kids have stated they do not want to go back to Oz any more as they refuse to leave their family again! Never thought I'd hear that one, but they so love spending time with their grandparents etc.:wub: So, to anyone else just about to make the big move home, it can be done, it isn't easy and plain sailing and I swear there is such a thing as reverse culture shock! This place isn't perfect, nowhere is, but it's not shallow, fickle or lacking in heritage or history; it has that in bucket loads. It's where we choose to raise our children, surrounded by their loved ones to guide and nurture them. We know they will face challenges and even danger as they are growing into adults, but they would've faced challenges and dangers in Australia. Don't be fooled by the British media, this place hasn't gone to the dogs at all, you just have to choose your areas carefully, just like anywhere in the world. All I do is never buy a newspaper and rarely watch the news, thus ensuring I do not get blindsided by negative claptrap. I am now a firm believer in 'If it doesn't affect me and mine directly...then I ain't interested' For all those still out there battling with the decisions, keep strong. And to those who have finally chosen where they need to be.......isn't it a fantastic f'ing feeling!!!!!:thumbsup: Fantastic post Tracy :thumbsup: It's really lovely to hear about how people are getting on when they have recently returned. I have followed your threads closely and really felt for you when you returned and things weren't going quite how you planned. BUT it is now great to hear that things are so positive and that is a great boost for us soon to be returnees. We ping ponged and I must admit I am more nervous about returning this time round than last time so reading your post this morning has really given me a boost............ thank you Please continue to keep us updated :D Chelle xx |
Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
Glad all is panning out for you after the initial culture shock of being home, keep us updated & wish you all the very best - think I am the only one left now from the original Boat meet!
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Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
Originally Posted by lil_ol_wine_drinker_me
(Post 7160108)
Glad all is panning out for you after the initial culture shock of being home, keep us updated & wish you all the very best - think I am the only one left now from the original Boat meet!
you take care xxxxxxx |
Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
So pleased to see things are getting better for you Tracey. Your posts are a good reminder to us potential returnees that its not all going to be plain sailing.
Hope things just keep getting better for you:thumbsup: Keep us posted! |
Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
Tracey, what a great post! So pleased for you that it's all working out now after a bumpy start. I totally agree with all you say about boring, bland barbies etc. We've just had a month in Blighty and I loved the diversity and everyone seems to have very active social lives - weekends away, seeing shows, nights out etc. It's not perfect, but it's interesting and lively - warts and all. Being away gives you so much more appreciation.
All the best for 2009 :thumbsup: |
Re: Feeling a bit sh*tty
Originally Posted by rabsody
(Post 7170378)
Tracey, what a great post! So pleased for you that it's all working out now after a bumpy start. I totally agree with all you say about boring, bland barbies etc. We've just had a month in Blighty and I loved the diversity and everyone seems to have very active social lives - weekends away, seeing shows, nights out etc. It's not perfect, but it's interesting and lively - warts and all. Being away gives you so much more appreciation.
All the best for 2009 :thumbsup: Gave up on boring barbies years ago... |
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