Originally Posted by Professional Princess

Your post struck a chord with me it really did.

Speaking as someone who has left her Dad, brother, sisters, neices, nephews I can give you a small insight as to what it is like.

You see many of us that have emigrated are torn, we are torn between loving our new life and enjoying what we have done and missing our loved ones in the UK.

I wake up with a heavy heart most days realising that it is over 2 years since I last saw my Dad/family/friends.

I want to go back to visit but we cant afford it, even if we could I am too scared to leave my husband due to him being in a car crash last year - so even if you put the money on the table to get me a ticket, I couldnt leave him - I am not ready and he is not allowed to fly.

So in between enjoying my life in Perth, my Dad calls me every day except Saturdays, if he is late calling me I worry, if I am out - he worries and our phonecalls are repetitive yet essential to the sanity of both of us.

I last saw my Dad when I hugged him goodbye at the Underground, leaving in a drug induced calmness that the doctor had 'prescribed' as I wasnt sleeping. It haunts me that the last image of my Dad is the one of me hugging him and feeling exhausted, empty and numb. And then by the time the tears came, I was in my flat for the last night before I flew out so couldnt see him to do a proper goodbye - I sobbed for over 2 hours.

Each time we see our loved ones on facebook we get upset that there are new pictures detailing how our loved ones have changed - fatter/thinner/older - when did they change without me noticing?, new babies are born, we dont see them or hold them and gradually the new family photos do not contain us, we are not part of the album.

Good news is relished in - with everyone except us, as we are not there to relish in it. I wanted to so badly to hug my neice when she passed her driving test, I had been supporting her on facebook and facebook is how I found out due to the time difference.

We miss funerals because we cant get the funds or the time off work, we miss the parties and the gatherings, the banter and the hugs and the general family 'politics' and gossip that comes with being part of it.

Then when we finally do get a loved one to visit (wanted guest and not gatecrasher) - our heart pounds at the arrival doors at the airport, we get emotional when we see the sign 'landed' and then we cry when they come through.

The time spent with them is as though we have never been apart, we slot back in like a comfy shoe.

Then when we say goodbye and the last we see of them is the sliding doors closing as they disappear, we break our hearts like the day we left them in the UK.

We develop and acquire new things, achieve new stuff, get hurt, get sick and get better, start new jobs - just like we did in the UK, except we do it in a different country and you are not there to share in it just like we are not there to share in your news either.

So when you see/read/hear of your family enjoying their new lives, please please please do not think they dont love you, that they dont battle with the constant internal fight of knowing that they belong in their new country and cannot imagine living anywhere else, and realising just what they have given up in order to do it.

Perth is my home, my family are in England, I dont want to live in England - I like it here, I want it all and I cant have it and that is a pain you cannot do anything about nor take anything for.

Your family loves you, they moved to make a different/better life for themselves but distance does not dilute how much they love and miss you. They just cant tell you it constantly as it will upset both them and you.

So although it is hard for you, I can bet you a million dollars that it is equally hard for your family that have migrated - and never underestimate it.

Originally Posted by Professional Princess

Your post struck a chord with me it really did.

<SNIP>

So although it is hard for you, I can bet you a million dollars that it is equally hard for your family that have migrated - and never underestimate it.

Originally Posted by Professional Princess

Its my neices 18th birthday party today and my other neices 13th birthday. All the family will be there except for me and my other sister who lives abroad.

Today I am seriously feeling the ache of not being there, for not being there for one of my best friends who is about to go through Chemo for breast cancer.

I fell like a ragdoll being torn into two different directions, I feel that my little house/suburb is my home, I am comfortable living here and cannot ever imagine moving back to the UK.

Yet my heart aches for those I cannot go to see. And this 'tug of war' business, well it isnt nice.

Originally Posted by Professional Princess

Its my neices 18th birthday party today and my other neices 13th birthday. All the family will be there except for me and my other sister who lives abroad.

Today I am seriously feeling the ache of not being there, for not being there for one of my best friends who is about to go through Chemo for breast cancer.

I fell like a ragdoll being torn into two different directions, I feel that my little house/suburb is my home, I am comfortable living here and cannot ever imagine moving back to the UK.

Yet my heart aches for those I cannot go to see. And this 'tug of war' business, well it isnt nice.

Originally Posted by Beedubya

So sorry PP, yes it's really awful with the parties. My sister in law just had her 50th on Saturday night it was a big fancy dress bash, she had already sent out the invites back in March so I got mine just before I left, I just looked at some of the pics today and I have a big lump in my throat and an ache in my heart,all the family and friends are there except me and my kids and grand-kids over here, even her sister, hubby and 2 kids turned up from Perth as a surprise.

Hope your freind gets better real soon, all prayers and good wishes being sent across the miles to her.

Originally Posted by keeny

This whole thread has got me in tears and made me realise even more that we have got to go home to UK.

Jordana09 thank you for helping me realise how family feel. My family never tell me anything like that for fear of upsetting things.

Professional Princess wow everything you said is so true.


We came to New Zealand with a new born baby girl (immigration process started as I got pregnant) with the idea in our heads that we could do it, we could bring up our daughter in a new country and she would be fine, she wouldnt know any different so she wouldnt 'miss' her grandparents and aunties and extended family. Well now she is 1yr old and starting to be more of a child than a baby, soon she will be talking and interacting even more, now seems to be the most important time when she should have family around her. The first year that family have missed out on I can almost get over, as she was just a baby. But now it makes me realise I want her to be able to go to nanna & grandads for the day, I want her to play with her cousins. I want her godparents to be there for her as they see her as a grand child not just a god child.

Ok so the UK is not perfect. It may be a rough ride ahead in the UK. My husband may not get his old job back. BUT i am trying to think positive, he can surely find a job doing something no matter what it is. All I am bothered about is being back where we belong so our daughter can grow up happier.

Originally Posted by Professional Princess

Your post struck a chord with me it really did.

Speaking as someone who has left her Dad, brother, sisters, neices, nephews I can give you a small insight as to what it is like.

You see many of us that have emigrated are torn, we are torn between loving our new life and enjoying what we have done and missing our loved ones in the UK.

I wake up with a heavy heart most days realising that it is over 2 years since I last saw my Dad/family/friends.

I want to go back to visit but we cant afford it, even if we could I am too scared to leave my husband due to him being in a car crash last year - so even if you put the money on the table to get me a ticket, I couldnt leave him - I am not ready and he is not allowed to fly.

So in between enjoying my life in Perth, my Dad calls me every day except Saturdays, if he is late calling me I worry, if I am out - he worries and our phonecalls are repetitive yet essential to the sanity of both of us.

I last saw my Dad when I hugged him goodbye at the Underground, leaving in a drug induced calmness that the doctor had 'prescribed' as I wasnt sleeping. It haunts me that the last image of my Dad is the one of me hugging him and feeling exhausted, empty and numb. And then by the time the tears came, I was in my flat for the last night before I flew out so couldnt see him to do a proper goodbye - I sobbed for over 2 hours.

Each time we see our loved ones on facebook we get upset that there are new pictures detailing how our loved ones have changed - fatter/thinner/older - when did they change without me noticing?, new babies are born, we dont see them or hold them and gradually the new family photos do not contain us, we are not part of the album.

Good news is relished in - with everyone except us, as we are not there to relish in it. I wanted to so badly to hug my neice when she passed her driving test, I had been supporting her on facebook and facebook is how I found out due to the time difference.

We miss funerals because we cant get the funds or the time off work, we miss the parties and the gatherings, the banter and the hugs and the general family 'politics' and gossip that comes with being part of it.

Then when we finally do get a loved one to visit (wanted guest and not gatecrasher) - our heart pounds at the arrival doors at the airport, we get emotional when we see the sign 'landed' and then we cry when they come through.

The time spent with them is as though we have never been apart, we slot back in like a comfy shoe.

Then when we say goodbye and the last we see of them is the sliding doors closing as they disappear, we break our hearts like the day we left them in the UK.

We develop and acquire new things, achieve new stuff, get hurt, get sick and get better, start new jobs - just like we did in the UK, except we do it in a different country and you are not there to share in it just like we are not there to share in your news either.

So when you see/read/hear of your family enjoying their new lives, please please please do not think they dont love you, that they dont battle with the constant internal fight of knowing that they belong in their new country and cannot imagine living anywhere else, and realising just what they have given up in order to do it.

Perth is my home, my family are in England, I dont want to live in England - I like it here, I want it all and I cant have it and that is a pain you cannot do anything about nor take anything for.

Your family loves you, they moved to make a different/better life for themselves but distance does not dilute how much they love and miss you. They just cant tell you it constantly as it will upset both them and you.

So although it is hard for you, I can bet you a million dollars that it is equally hard for your family that have migrated - and never underestimate it.

Originally Posted by Professional Princess

Your post struck a chord with me it really did.

Speaking as someone who has left her Dad, brother, sisters, neices, nephews I can give you a small insight as to what it is like.

You see many of us that have emigrated are torn, we are torn between loving our new life and enjoying what we have done and missing our loved ones in the UK.

I wake up with a heavy heart most days realising that it is over 2 years since I last saw my Dad/family/friends.

I want to go back to visit but we cant afford it, even if we could I am too scared to leave my husband due to him being in a car crash last year - so even if you put the money on the table to get me a ticket, I couldnt leave him - I am not ready and he is not allowed to fly.

So in between enjoying my life in Perth, my Dad calls me every day except Saturdays, if he is late calling me I worry, if I am out - he worries and our phonecalls are repetitive yet essential to the sanity of both of us.

I last saw my Dad when I hugged him goodbye at the Underground, leaving in a drug induced calmness that the doctor had 'prescribed' as I wasnt sleeping. It haunts me that the last image of my Dad is the one of me hugging him and feeling exhausted, empty and numb. And then by the time the tears came, I was in my flat for the last night before I flew out so couldnt see him to do a proper goodbye - I sobbed for over 2 hours.

Each time we see our loved ones on facebook we get upset that there are new pictures detailing how our loved ones have changed - fatter/thinner/older - when did they change without me noticing?, new babies are born, we dont see them or hold them and gradually the new family photos do not contain us, we are not part of the album.

Good news is relished in - with everyone except us, as we are not there to relish in it. I wanted to so badly to hug my neice when she passed her driving test, I had been supporting her on facebook and facebook is how I found out due to the time difference.

We miss funerals because we cant get the funds or the time off work, we miss the parties and the gatherings, the banter and the hugs and the general family 'politics' and gossip that comes with being part of it.

Then when we finally do get a loved one to visit (wanted guest and not gatecrasher) - our heart pounds at the arrival doors at the airport, we get emotional when we see the sign 'landed' and then we cry when they come through.

The time spent with them is as though we have never been apart, we slot back in like a comfy shoe.

Then when we say goodbye and the last we see of them is the sliding doors closing as they disappear, we break our hearts like the day we left them in the UK.

We develop and acquire new things, achieve new stuff, get hurt, get sick and get better, start new jobs - just like we did in the UK, except we do it in a different country and you are not there to share in it just like we are not there to share in your news either.

So when you see/read/hear of your family enjoying their new lives, please please please do not think they dont love you, that they dont battle with the constant internal fight of knowing that they belong in their new country and cannot imagine living anywhere else, and realising just what they have given up in order to do it.

Perth is my home, my family are in England, I dont want to live in England - I like it here, I want it all and I cant have it and that is a pain you cannot do anything about nor take anything for.

Your family loves you, they moved to make a different/better life for themselves but distance does not dilute how much they love and miss you. They just cant tell you it constantly as it will upset both them and you.

So although it is hard for you, I can bet you a million dollars that it is equally hard for your family that have migrated - and never underestimate it.

Originally Posted by Swirls

This is a very interesting thread. We are in the early stages of applying for PR in Canada (we sent the forms off and received them back in order to fill in more details of my husbands work experience!) Anyway, we haven't yet told my parents or the in-laws. I would be really interested to know how you all (as people on the 'other' side of this) feel about it. Should we be upfront about it now? We were initially going to wait until the 120 day email came through and then tell people that we were going but having read this thread I am now unsure. We were going to wait until we had definite (as far as that goes anyway!) news but would having more time to digest the news make it easier? I know that my parents are going to be devastated as their only grandchildren are our two girls with little hope of my sister having any.

And any advice on how to break the news gently would be much appreciated.