wannagohome

Hi everyone. Glad I found you.

I've been married for 10 years and have 3 kids, aged 7, 4 and 2. I am British and my husband is French, with the kids having dual nationality (although they were all born in France).

We lived in France for the first 3 1/2 years after we married, then moved to the UK because I was getting quite homesick here. Our oldest child was a baby at the time.

We then stayed in England for 3 years (during which time our second child was born, although we stayed with his parents for a couple of months in order to attend the same maternity hospital as for the first), but we moved back to France in 2003 as he had been out of work for 2 years and was becoming depressed and angry.

It has now been 3 1/2 years and I still haven't settled here. Whilst there are things I love about France, the truth is our marriage is no longer a loving one - he is very aggressive (but not violent) and the children are not happy liviing in this environment. I have no family or friends here and the only neighbours in our tiny village are pensioners. My husband set up a business with his former boss and now works long hours and often travels abroad for several days at a time (usually 5-7 days every 1-2 months).

I'm now planning a move back home. My parents are supportive and will help me to find a place to live etc. I'm looking into teacher training and planning to enrol on a PGCE course for September. The financial help available will mean I can afford to support myself and the kids.

But I'm worried about the implications of the divorce. My husband has said he will do everything possible to stop me leaving the country with the children. He realises his job means he has little chance of obtaining full custody, but he intends to apply for an injunction to prevent me living more than 50km from him.

I'm so depressed at the thought, but at the end of the day, i think I would move back anyway, even if he had custody. I am so miserable here I don't think anything would make me stay.

Has anyone been through a situation like this? How did it all work out?
It just seems like a lose/lose situation for all involved :-(

busterboy

Hi there

Sorry that I can't help, someone on this site will be able to though...I am currently wracking my brains on who that might be.

Best of luck.

BB

Miss Naughty

Hi,
Sorry to hear about your situation, My only advice i can give you is to go and get some legal advice before you do anything.
I do hope it works out for you, be strong and think positive.
xxxxx

Mercedes

This link may be of help to you to start with

http://ec.europa.eu/civiljustice/div...rce_fra_en.htm

I personally would go and see a good lawyer who not only specialises in French law, but also British who may be able to offer you better advice. Sounds a bit dark ages for someone putting an injunction on someone restricting their freedom, which I would think against the human rights laws. Apart from the children you need to know how you stand with other aspects of your affairs, with property etc as I believe it is different to the British way of doing things.

Keep your chin up.

wannagohome

Thanks BB

wannagohome

Thank you. I'm trying to stay strong and postitive for the kids. I've told my parents and they're also being very supportive.

wannagohome

Thanks for the link Mercedes. Off to check that out...

Englishmum

Hi,

My best friend has experienced an international child custody dispute; both parents are Australian, one child was born in Australia and the youngest born in New Jersey.

The marriage broke down and the ex returned to Australia. The children went on an extended holiday to Oz to stay with their maternal grandparents. On the day that granny checked in at the airport in Sydney with the children, she was detained by the Australian Federal Police and the Oz immigration officials. Their father had gone to a magistrate in Brisbane (he lives on the Gold Coast) the same (Sunday) morning to get a court order preventing them from returning to New Jersey.

I was with my friend when she took the phone call...needless to say he was hysterical. I'd heard about the UK website called 'Reunite' which is a British charity helping parents embroiled in international child custody disputes. They have a list of solicitors/lawyers in various countries who specialise in these matters. My friend called one of them in Brisbane who agreed to help her. She was ordered by the Oz family courts to attend for compulsory mediation and face her ex to sort it out (she took her solicitor and he took his). In the meantime the children - oblivious to what was happening - were allowed to return with their granny to the grandparent's home in Sydney.

After agreeing to meet certain terms and conditions (how often and how long the children would visit their father in Australia) he agreed that they could return to the US.

What you need to do your research on is the "Hague Convention". The info on this is on the following website, plus info on anyone who has taken or intending to take their children to another country without the other parent's permission. If both countries are signatories to the Hague Convention it can mean that the children have to be returned to their 'country of residence' - which is often determined to be where the children have spent at least the last 6-12 months...some courts may interpretate this differently.

I wish you luck - but there is help and advice to be found here:

http://www.reunite.org

wannagohome

Thank you. That really is the kind of situation I'm hoping to avoid. I've spoken to lawyers in both countries, but their advice conflicts, so I'm really stuck as to know what is the best way to progress. I'll contact reunite. Maybe they'll have some good advice as to how to avoid ending up in that kind of a situation...

Wendy

Hi

I don't have any answers for you but just wanted to wish you all the best. I hope everything works out for you.

wannagohome

Thanks Wendy!

Love the Morten pic, by the way :-)