Originally Posted by Bitzi

I own a very busy cafe and often work the register taking orders etc. Nearly every customer I speak to has some comment to make about my oh so adorable accent. "Oooh are you from Australia?" to which I either reply:
"No, are you?" and then they look confused like I am the mad one.

If I am feeling particularly nasty I say "have you ever seen that film Crocodile Dundee?" to which they enthusiastically coo "oh yes I love that movie" then I butt in and say "so my beautiful cut glass accent sounds just like Mick Dundee does it?

Then when I submit and reply England or London they say "oh whereabouts?"... like it makes any ****ing difference to them. So then I say sarcastically "Why?" and then then proceed to tell me about their hairstylist's brother's cousin's next door neighbour's best friend who once knew someone who lived in ****ing Harrow and do I know them? (apologies for incorrect use of apostrophies)...

And as I work in the food industry I have to say toe-may-doh and not tomato. Some of our food items come to $5.90 as in "five 9D" but when I say five 9T I get given 19c..... Oh and I have to say ba-naaaa-na in a nasaly way and not bar-nar-nar. So these delightful customers of mine say I should keep my adorable Australian accent but how ****ing can I when no-one ****ing understands me.

Anyway vent over, going back to silly words:
Line vs Queue
Can I have a lift (ride)
Pardon my reach (WTF) and the silliest one in the restaurant business is....... BUS BOY or BUS your own table you lazy mother****er.

Originally Posted by surly

You've gotta drop you're pants to go poo. Just move over one.

Originally Posted by lisag8070

The first time I ever saw one was when I was in hospital after having my DD...they told me to use it to help "clean and soothe" myself..


Yep, I was the pleb that was stood there for 10 minutes just looking at it thinking wtf..

finally someone came in and told me what to do..

(and I tell you what it was a ahhhhhh moment)..

Originally Posted by Bitzi

I own a very busy cafe and often work the register taking orders etc. Nearly every customer I speak to has some comment to make about my oh so adorable accent. "Oooh are you from Australia?" to which I either reply:
"No, are you?" and then they look confused like I am the mad one.

If I am feeling particularly nasty I say "have you ever seen that film Crocodile Dundee?" to which they enthusiastically coo "oh yes I love that movie" then I butt in and say "so my beautiful cut glass accent sounds just like Mick Dundee does it?

Then when I submit and reply England or London they say "oh whereabouts?"... like it makes any ****ing difference to them. So then I say sarcastically "Why?" and then then proceed to tell me about their hairstylist's brother's cousin's next door neighbour's best friend who once knew someone who lived in ****ing Harrow and do I know them? (apologies for incorrect use of apostrophies)...

And as I work in the food industry I have to say toe-may-doh and not tomato. Some of our food items come to $5.90 as in "five 9D" but when I say five 9T I get given 19c..... Oh and I have to say ba-naaaa-na in a nasaly way and not bar-nar-nar. So these delightful customers of mine say I should keep my adorable Australian accent but how ****ing can I when no-one ****ing understands me.

Anyway vent over, going back to silly words:
Line vs Queue
Can I have a lift (ride)
Pardon my reach (WTF) and the silliest one in the restaurant business is....... BUS BOY or BUS your own table you lazy mother****er.

Originally Posted by Sally Redux

You sit astride it or perch your butt on it depending on exactly what you want to wash.

I think they're jolly useful.

Originally Posted by Lorna at Vicenza

An Italian nurse told me to pee in the bidet after giving birth with warm water running on me from the tap so that the urine wouldn't sting me... and to use a hairdryer afterwards.

It was one of the best after birth tips I ever got.

Would you believe my bidet here even has a directional nozzle on the mixer tap? When the kids were little and used to wash their hands in it, they and the bathroom often got a soaking when the water would shoot out straight at them because the nozzle wasn't pointing directly downwards.

My bidet made a nice swimming pool for little dolls when my daughter was small.

Originally Posted by another bloody yank

You need a vacation. Seriously.

I know... you can't take one because (insert various excuses here).

Shut up.

Go somewhere before you hurt someone.

Originally Posted by Bitzi

Oh and I have to say ba-naaaa-na in a nasaly way and not bar-nar-nar. So these delightful customers of mine say I should keep my adorable Australian accent but how ****ing can I when no-one ****ing understands me.

Originally Posted by another bloody yank

What kind of pressure are we talking here, drinking fountain or power washer?

Originally Posted by sunflwrgrl13

Last time I checked, there were not any "r's" in banana.

Originally Posted by Englishtart

Is it ok to say "I love you"!

Originally Posted by cindyabs

I'm thinkin' it depends on how heavy duty the job is.

and NO I ain't gonna show ya.

Originally Posted by another bloody yank

I've worked customer service/retail, I know where she's coming from. When it gets that bad, you have to take a step back and breathe a little.

Originally Posted by another bloody yank

'Cause I got a power washer and a yard you can't see from the road.

Originally Posted by another bloody yank

'Cause I got a power washer and a yard you can't see from the road.