Louise M

Well I have been here 4 years now and my daughter who is now 21 has decided to move back to the UK. She has just had an amazing holiday back there, met up with old friends who welcomed her back with open arms. She has had a very hard time here trying to fit in. Her so called friends in Oz have made her life a misery and spend most of their time bitching about each other.
Her brother has just been out here for a holiday too and she misses him terribly as I do.

This means that I will have no family here. I followed my ex husband out here for a new start and after 2 months left him with my daughter and moved to Brisbane. (Hes back in UK after losing his job).
I couldnt afford to go home then but I can now. I get so homesick. I miss my friends and had a fantastic job in the UK which I could go back to.

However, I have been seeing someone for over 2 years. He is a wonderful man and I love him dearly. He has a large family and is very much into the outdoor life. I adore this man as he does me. I think he would find it difficult to live in the UK.

I am so torn. Its breaking my heart. I have told my beautiful daughter that I fully support her decision and I just want her to be happy. She is leaving in 3 months once everything is sorted.
My kids and I have always been so close and I wanted to be near them and there for them. Hasn't quite turned out like that.
I dont know what to do.

Sorry just had to sound off a bit.

Gill123

Sad to hear that you have such a dilema - very tricky.

Have you been back to the UK with your partner? Perhaps looking at different areas in the UK of where you could live might help you clarify things?

I know the UK doesn't get the weather that Australia does, but there are still lots of outdoor options depending on where you live.

My daughter is only 10 years old, but she's said to us from day one of arriving here that she will go back to the UK when she is 18! We've been here 2 years and she misses seeing family terribly. My other daughter is only 3 years old so doesn't know any different, but I totally sympathize with how torn you must be feeling. It's one of my fears of living in Australia - one of my daughter's settling 10,000 miles from where I am.

Good luck with whatever happens

scrawni

Understand where you are coming from. Our daughter who returned after only 5 mths here. I cannot say it gets easier because for me it hasn't. Don't get me wrong, I have good days and bad days.

I would definitely take your partner for a trip over to the UK, it's not a nice feeling being torn and wanting to please everyone. Hopefully he will like his trip, see how happy it makes you and decide to stay.

quoll

I've got one who went back to UK for a gap year - never returned and has a very good life in UK now and not likely to return for some time, if ever (fiancee is a London girl and she would shrivel and die in Aus even though she says she likes the heat). You can live without them once they fly the nest but it cuts you out of all sorts of events in their lives (I am back now for a significant event in his life and will be back next year for his wedding - but it is a costly exercise!)

Isolation is a killer - I have just my husband and one son with his family but still feel incredibly isolated and would be back in UK in a heartbeat if only he would leave (he's an Aussie) - so much more buzz to life, variety and a general feeling of belongingness (he knows that if anything happened to him I would be gone). If your new chap is the one you want to grow old and die with then you will probably have to bite the bullet of not belonging and being on the other side of the world from "yours" all on your own (well, with him and all "his" around him). You can do it but whether your life will be fulfilled by doing it is up to you. I'd be asking him whether he would move with you - you never know, he may love you enough to support you in being happy and whole and be prepared to make compromises with his own life.

All the best, it is a tricky one!

Chortlepuss

I have one daughter who loves it here and one who would happily move back to the UK - will be an interesting few years ahead, but think for practical reasons they'll stay here for uni and can make their own minds up after that.
I love the weather here in Brisbane - and the great scenery. But not the noise, crowds, and isolation. I have a good enough job and I know I should be grateful. But I come from a great community in the UK where people talk to each other and I miss family and close friends. And the pub, and countryside and seasons - Alhough I've met some nice people here, it's not the same as being at home. People seem to have very little time to socialise My hubby loves it here - perhaps he's not as needy as me, but quite honestly I'm ready to return if only to have a girls weekend away, or pop down the pub. Just popping round to a mate's for a cuppa would be a treat! I'd be out celebrating bonfire night in the UK and at a friend's party on Saturday instead of yet another weekend here inside watching the telly. Sometimes I think I'm the only one who finds it so lonely in Oz, so this forum is a great help.

Mazza12

I can relate so much to your dilemma Louise. I'll be leaving one 23 year old son behind and bringing my 16 year old to Sydney with my Aussie partner. Now the 16 year old is saying that he plans to come to Oz with us only to validate his visa and then is coming back to the UK to live with his Dad. Sometimes I feel so guilty and selfish for forcing him into having to make this choice. I'm just praying that he'll change his mind and stay with us in Oz. It'll be bad enough having to cope with one son being on the other side of the world never mind both of them. My partner and i have been together for 4years here in the UK and have a wonderful relationship. I have committed to a new life in Oz but sometimes I wonder if the potential heartache will be worth it! Nothing's ever simple!

Anyway good luck Louise and I hope things work out for you.

Beedubya

Wow there sure are some dilemma's on this board. It really does pay to go back home when your kids are young, if you can........

I hope all of you ladies manage to work something out, it really is an awful place to be, torn between two countries because of children or partners.

I can so relate to the boredom of living here. It is Saturday afternoon here, yesterday I was off work as I have the 'flu, that means except for the doctor yesterday I haven't had a conversation since Thursday at work. It would be lovely to just pop into my sisters or one of my nieces for a cuppa........I do have friends here but they live an hour away and to be honest, I've only really had one close friendship since I have been here. I just seem to have nothing in common with most people I meet, except for my Kiwi gf who is going back to live in NZ next year as her partner HATES it in Australia.