Sue1

Hi, the last couple of weeks I have been feeling unsure about moving back to the UK, looking at march next year, have been here since may and this is the second time here.

Was very sure we were going to move back but not sure any more, is it the weather (getting better), starting to feel more relaxed or is it just the unknown about moving back to the uk (will we get jobs, will we have to rent forever , will we ever be able to afford a house, etc, etc). I just feel really confused as I really like the country NZ but just have that horrible nagging feeling that if we stay here I will not see the family very often and I do miss the heaps!!!!

Don't know what it is anyone else been feeling like this!!!

Hope to hear from anyone, sorry if this is a confusing thread just wanted to let off steam as to how I felt.

Sue

TruBrit

hi sue, lots of ping pongers around so hopefully someone will be along to advise....you're not alone with your feelings from what i've gathered on here. i can't help as i know the UK is home and i am so pleased i don't have that nagging feeling that ping pongers seem to have. all the best with your dilemma

Sue1

Hi thanks for getting in touch, it's a tricky one and its trying to work out what to do for the best and the family thing is the biggest issue. Are you still in the US or back in the UK. Regards Sue1

Tr1boy

Traditionally I think MBTTUKers fall into two categories. The ones that know they want to move back and is absolutely the right thing to do for them. They resolutely know the reasons and what they want out of life when they get back etc.

And then there are those that ‘think’ they may want to move back. They don’t really dislike where they are, but aren’t 100% sure about the UK either. I think this is a harder group to be in as you still have left the door open for opinion on both places, hence can get pretty confused.

On top of this, there seems to be a new group emerging. Those that want to go back, but are hesitant in the current financial climate, and I think this trepidation could equally apply to those in UK that want to move to, well anywhere really. This can further confounded when you throw kids in the mix (which we don’t have to).

IMO it sounds to me like you’re in the ‘not 100%’ group with a bit of the financial worry lobbed in. I would suggest a decent recce back to the UK to see how you feel. Good luck, you’re not alone in your dilemma

Sue1

Hi thanks for that you got it right, sort of sure, then not sure, then really sure, then not sure again and on and on it goes!!!! Thanks again Sue1

onepearlyb

Hi Sue,

We are sure we want to go back. Been here almost 2 years now and it's my third time out here!
BUT we are having terrible problems finding work to go back to in the Uk and we're booked to leave here in 12 weeks time!! It's a nightmare. We've been job hunting for about 4 months now.
I am unsure whether to start looking at other areas to move back to. Been spending all our time looking at Yorkshire but as I say it's just not happening. Now, I wouldn't know where else to start looking, as this hic-up just wasn't planned for at all.
I'd agree to stay on here a bit longer but hubbie is all for leaving asap as he feels we've given it our best shot over the almost 2 years that we've been here and he's really had enough.

I'm worried about going back there with no jobs though!

*pearly*

Margaret3

Cant speak for england pearl , but there certainly aint alot of nursing jobs in scotland at the moment

Margaret3

[c.

And then there are those that ‘think’ they may want to move back. They don’t really dislike where they are, but aren’t 100% sure about the UK either. I think this is a harder group to be in as you still have left the door open for opinion on both places, hence can get pretty confused.


This is my catagory, that and the fact husband and kids defo want to stay here

Sue1

Yeah the job thing is one of the biggest thinks that worries my OH (well other than getting house etc) about going back to UK, having said that the people he works for here sound unsure as to how much more work they will have after xmas. Rather worrying!!!!

Hope something turns up for you, sure it will.

Sue1

I know if I was 100% ok here my OH would be fine, we have 2 boys who are fine here too, think blokes can block out things better than us girls. All the best Sue1

Lookin2Oz

We are in NZ (Auckland) and looking at either Oz or back to UK- Scotland.

I have applied for over 200 jobs (sales & marketing) here in NZ over the last six months and must admit that I feel a good lot of these are not getting response as I am not a Kiwi.

I have been looking at the job market in Scotland and the opportunities are WAY better there, plus the housing opportunities are WAY better there, we would be happy to buy and older ( large) apartment as a foot on the property market. Here in NZ the cheapest LAND ONLY is over $300 K and the salaries and opportunities are crap.

There are ( as you know) many pros & cons to the whole – do I go or do I stay - thing and one of the biggies for me is - do I see myself ever feeling settled here in NZ and the answer to that is – NO.

As I get older the feeling to return to the UK gets stronger and searching for that sense of belonging overtakes the stuff like looking for jobs etc. and that whether it is here or in Scotland I will get a job.

I ask myself – do I want to be Kiwi and the answer to that is – NO. Am I Scottish and the answer to that is – YES.

Sounds simple hey

Sue1

Hi yeah when you put it like that it does sound simple. I do feel like that in the sense I can't see myself being here forever and don't think I would want to anyway, so I think we should go back sooner rather than later and get on with our lives and have that sense of belonging.

Hope you decide where you are going to go, do you think you would want to live in OZ forever and do you think you would feel like you belong there, or is it just a stop off on route back? How long have you been in NZ?

All the best Sue1

Lookin2Oz

Hi Sue,
Mrs Looking2oz here........

WE KNOW JUST HOW YOU FEEL !!!!!

The daily and even hourly emotional roller coaster is a killer. The longer it carries on the more you get sucked into it and it can get to the stage where you mostly hate the way you are living your life. And that's not cool. As an exSA I do at least know one thing.....we can't go back there to live At least we will have OH's family in Scotland and new friends will be made.

In chatting to VERY MANY people on this forum and in person (all expats) 90% are in the same boat. "Listening" to what is being said I have come to the conclusion that life is really all about family and friends and the reality of BELONGING. Some people can feel like they belong in their new country and for others that can only happen back home. At the end of the day our part of the journey here in NZ has been an adventure and NEVER a failure. As before, when faced with the decision of leaving SA, I have learnt that OH, son and me - we're where its at. Us, our unit. If that means that our unit has to go to UK then so be it. We're still the unit! The rest of it will fall into place - housing, jobs, weather.....whatever, but us 3, we are what's real. Knowing this doesn't make the decision any easier of course but it does help stop the insanity

Anyway we've decided to enjoy a summer here and revisit the situation after that. That's at least ONE decision made. The other decision is that till then we WILL do our best to enjoy every day to the max. (Then again this is all subject to change)

Remember : There is no key to happiness, the door is always open.

Have a great day, she'll be alright

Petals

Having had the life of a child with parents who moved countries like they were moving to the next village its very hard on a child and adolescent. You end up not knowing who you are. My bother and I often have a good whine about our lifes as children with the wonderlust parents.

I thin people need to know what is making them unhappy if they really know they will make the right decision.

I personally would not be emigrating or going back in the present climate I would be staying put if I had good employment and waiting to see how things pan out as I believe that things will get a lot worse before they get better. People are suffering mortgage stress people are already losing their jobs, firms are folding. Can't really be a time for big changes especially if there are children involved, might be all over in 12 months but at least in 12 months we will have some idea of what is happening and what the future is to be like.