nuttyandfruity

Yes, You would imagine that having the freedom to move wherever you'd like would be dreamy but it's a pain in the butt! I think for me, if we move due to a job or family and if it doesn't work out for whatever reason then it's not totally our fault as we didn't choose the area per se, the area chose us.

Whereas when I am faced with the possibility of choosing my own place to move to I feel an unusual amount of pressure. I mean, If I don't like it then it's totally my bad decision making that resulted in the move to that particular place and I have got issues with decision making as it is!!

We were intending on buying a place to live in but after much debating and reflection and some very valid points on here we have decided to rent initially as we will be moving to a new area and that will afford us the luxury of deciding if we like it enough before we buy and commit fully.

So far as the feeling of returning and it all being the same no matter where you are in the UK, I think to a degree that is most certainly the case, after all a Tesco's is a Tesco's no matter what part of the UK you are in and no it's not going to be as adventurous as discovering a new country altogether BUT based upon my own past experiences I am choosing to try somewhere altogether new this time around as opposed to moving back to where we came from originally.

My main reason is that to me it will be a 'fresh start' I consider it moving forward onto something new rather than going back to the same place. That's just my own experience and I think it's important to police your expectations too. The first time I moved back from FL to Wales I had unreasonable expectations. I thought my mother and I would become close and that old friendships would pick up where they left off. It didn't work out that way, my relationship with my mother didn't change at all. I had changed, my friends lives had changed. Our kids weren't 3 and 4 anymore playing together while we drank coffee and gossiped.

My move back this time around is for a hundred different reasons, far too many to go into here but primarily for some sort of stability. I need my children to get a good education and the opportunity of getting good jobs, currently being on H4 visa and financial resrictions those aren't viable options here for us at this time. Also my husbands health is not great and the financial worry/unstructured care in the USA is not something I wish to continue struggling with and certainly not something I want my kids growing up and having to contend with.

I read a good quote the other day and it says " In everything we do, our own thoughts can help us succeed, or they can help us fail. Maintain a positive attitude."

So on that note, onwards and upwards....Keep calm and carry on!

windsong

I think that, for me, it is important to go to a new place with a sense of adventure. It would give me more of an openness and willingness to accept things as I find them because I would have no memories to taint my expectations.

If I were to return to the place I left, those memories would infiltrate my expectations. In addition, I am not the same as when I left and my needs have changed, not only because I have lived overseas but because I am older, too.

I would never return to live in the same suburban village that I left but I might choose to live an hour or so away in a place that doesn't have the same memories. In fact, I have no desire to live in or visit the village I lived in. I do hold on to a desire to be fairly close to the major city that we visited - Edinburgh. However, I can draw a huge circle around Edinburgh and I have many, many choices to start afresh, all within an hour's drive or train ride (or a little over) from Edinburgh. I am actually thinking of somewhere in Fife - far enough away for a fresh start but still reasonably close to Edinburgh if I should choose to visit occasionally.

Or . . . I may choose to go to England. It is an exciting thought that I have a choice

Perth

This is an interesting discussion and I think one of the most helpful on the board, seeing all sides of the emotional impact of moving back.

Coincidentally, a facebook friend posted this today: Happiness cannot be pursued. It must ensue. Instead of seeking happiness in life, seek meaning.

I think to this I would also add purpose. Seek purpose and meaning, and then happiness will ensue.

I wish I could say that I was completely confident in my move back, but I am not. But something in those lines rings true to me. I have a few reasons for going back that are more practical than sentimental. Maybe I can use those words to bolster me through the shaky moments.

Perth

Perth

Dunroving, knowing you were near retirement I had wondered about you still looking for jobs back in the US. It seemed to me that it was more based on dissatisfaction with your present location than actually wanting to go back. Glad you are now able to examine your situation a little more pragmatically.

fulwood

Dunroving always brings up good points. At this time as I slowly forge a life without my amazing brother I am beginning to think of the next decade and how it will be about setting myself up for retirement - financially that is. I have some money but not enough by far. I don't need massive amount but more than I have now. I will be 52 this year and have a good job but it is not recognized in every state. I was going to go to graduate school which would have cost about 20 grand.. But I am now leaning more towards taking a certificate which would only cost $3200, 4 classes all online thru highly recommended program. May I also add I have 27K of student loan debt from my two degrees I would as I am now be at an assistant level but still have lots of opps and make decent money. After this I will be done. So when I'm done with it all I'll be a speech pathology language assistant (which I am now and not recognized by every state) and a Board Certified Assistant Behavioral Analyst plus my 2 degrees. I'm done. Not showing off it's just my story. I have to consider how much more debt I can take on and can't do much more. Also to stick to relevancy of topic I do not know where my life will take me if it's here or in UK or both but I don't feel pressing need yet for move back to UK.

dunroving

Fife is lovely.

dunroving

The more I work in a university setting, the more I question the extent to which people really benefit from a university education. I think there are so many more useful opportunities for useful learning, and as you point out, for less money (or even paid! Apprenticeships, sponsored training, etc.). And for really smart people (as you clearly are), university doesn't add much more to what you can teach yourself.

I really worry for current English undergrads and the mountain of debt they will pile up in 3 years (at least Scottish students don't have to pay ...). I would never change a thing about my university training, except maybe I'd have been in a hurry to get out quicker instead of staying on two extra years, just to "learn more." Those 6 years out of the job world cost me a lot (financially I mean), and ironically it turns out it's only through returning here to the UK that I can be even considering early (or semi-) retirement.

I just had a one-hour consult with an accountant this afternoon, to look at the figures, and it's really only because of the NHS (free health care), my current pension scheme (final salary scheme, hallelujah), and the UK "state" pension that I can consider not having to work for the next 10 years ... I wouldn't say I have caught up on what I spent moving around and getting a proper "edumacation" (I could never make back the amount that I spent), but it's the security of living in a state that believes in social welfare that means I don't have to have a pension pot in the gajillions to be able to retire without too much financial worry. I bumped into a dear old friend on my last visit to the USA, and she said forlornly that she will have to work "until I am at least 75 before I can retire".

Have you looked at the financial picture leading into retirement? I'm just wondering if a move to the UK might put you financially in a much better position for retirement ...? For me, after I took a very thorough look at the financial side of things, a lot of the emotional worry about "where should I be?" went out of the window. If you moved here, would you still have to pay off your student loans, for example? Don't mean to be nosy, but are you paying your Class II NIC's? (I hope so)

windsong

Yes, it is, Dunroving. Of course, I haven't visited in a number of years but from the photos I can find on the Internet and from talking to an old friend from university who recently retired from the Falkirk School District, it is still very nice. I used to visit Falkirk a lot when I lived over there and loved it! It's just the right size of town for me, too.

On weekends we used to drive around various towns in Fife and I loved them all! They don't have the craziness and "go, go, go" that you feel in a large city. I have had enough of that, I think.

lf1

Have you considered moving to eastern Scotland when you retire or do you think you'll move to England? I should probably be asking this question on the other thread, but I am living dangerously tonight.

I must say the weather in the east hasn't bothered me yet, but I do acknowledge that I am still in the honeymoon stage.

windsong

Not sure if you mean Dunroving or me, since he was responding to my post Anyway, I am very open to where I will move. Eastern Scotland is very nice, too and so are parts of England. I love nature and my dogs so I want to live in an area that is pretty and peaceful, not too expensive, low crime and about an hour away from a big city by train. I doubt I will get a car when I live there - but that could change. If the new business turns out really fabulously, I will get a car, although I am not really sure I want to drive too much in the UK when I can get buses and trains. It would be more for weekend drives into the country and the seaside.

Presently I am unemployed and looking for a job so my plans are frozen until that changes because I can't save. The last 10 years have changed my financial life for the worse BUT I am in the throes of a new business. It's a great business in which to make money and in a year or two I could really begin to recoup some of what I have lost in the last decade - and this could change my plans about a car in the UK but it won't change where I want to live because I can operate this business from home over the Internet. With the job market the way it has been for years now, I can't rely on corporate America to keep me employed.


I know what I am looking for in the UK In a nutshell, it's "peace" and being home again

fulwood

Dunroving, you're never nosy. yes I think my student loans will haunt me until I die. No ashamed to say I have not been making the contributions. I would like to but don't know how much. I need to investigate it and study more. You recently along with Nun and others were talking about pensions etc but I felt as though I was reading Russian! Didn't understand it at all. The only thing with me coming back to UK is how do I earn my living? What I do is not reciprocal. If I had graduate degree in either field then I could work in UK but not at assistant level. I do believe though that it is the healthcare issue that will drive me back home for good. I have no health insurance now - can't afford it. I still get massive bills in the thousands for my late brother's care. They just go in the trash. Right now I am trying to resolve his estate and that is going to be a doozy. I had his will drawn up by Volunteer Lawyers Group and the bank where his money is saying i need to get it certified. Well guess what notary public already has stamped it, I took to my bank and they say no I won't certify it. Why do I bloody need to certify a will that's already been drawn up. He doesn't have a lot but it will help me a wee bit. Anyway..

dunroving

I'm pretty sure I want out of Scotland, because it is too far "up there" for people I know to visit (I have had almost no visits from old friends and family - but they are always happy to invite me "down there"!)

The weather here in Glasgow really does bother me, to be honest - too cold, too windy and too wet. It just happens that where I live there is always a gale blowing through the winter, whch makes the rain come down sideways; "dreich" doesn't even begin to describe it! It seems to add insult to injury that it is freezing, and wet, and then the rain comes sideways at you!

I'm not sure what I will do, I am very much in the "complete change of mindset" mode, but currently the plan is to definitely not be in this job, or in Glasgow, past summer 2017. I'm hoping to grow my consultancy work so maybe I can build a client base and be able to not even consider formal work after I give up this job. I'd really love to get another dog when I retire (it's simply not practical at the moment because I live alone), so being self-employed would be perfect. I always felt guilty at leaving Suzy at home every day, even though she was looked after, so being able to work from home and go walking the dog at any time would be my idea of heaven.

But if I need to, I'll stack shelves at Tesco's between then and when I hit 66 (that's not for quite a while yet, despite Rodney's comments on the other thread, cheeky bugger!), just to keep the bank manager happy. I may go down to the Midlands (I grew up in Birmingham), but as I say, I'm not even at the stage of needing to make decisions yet.

windsong

Gosh, Dunroving, you just reminded me how bad that Scottish rain can be

dunroving

Oh, please start looking at paying Class II NIC's (only £100 and a bit for each year) - I think that is the #1 most important piece of financial advice for any British expat. It really is money for old rope, just ridiculously laughable how much benefit you get for so little money (I can pull the figures if you are interested). You can pay "lost years" back to 2006, I think (there's a rolling 6-year limit) so that would give you 6 years already, for just about $1,000 and loose change. You need 35 years to get a full pension (will be about £600 a month - over $1,000 a month!!) i can't recall if you worked in the UK previously but even if not, you could keep paying class II's and even if you stay in the US to 66 (that's when your UK retirement age would be) you'd have 20/35ths of a full UK state pension - and if you have 30 years of US SS contributions, your SS pension won't be affected at all by WEP.

Please look at it, it's not that complicated and it really, really really is the best investment you will ever make.

[Do I sound like a used car salesman yet?]