ok, how about a compromise. Can you not rent out your aus house and spend 6-12 mths here in the UK with the 2 younger kids? It's hard to leave the eldest, but he's 20 now and has his own life to lead (I'm a hard cow I know). 6-12mths is nothing in comparison to your misery. We're returning to aus, but we won't say its forever, we can't! The kids are looking forward to it as they have the knowledge they'll probably be back for the 2012 Olympics! It all costs money, but its worth it if you're happier. How about starting a small ebay business to raise funds?

The 6 to 12 month things has been discussed so many times, lots of reasons its not really going to work, further disruption in education, work commitments for partner, storage of furniture, even family pets. Thanks tho

I'm sorry life does not seem good to you today Exile is right your boys will be fine with parents as concerned as you. Shame it means life will be harder for you, its always easier if you get support. Are there any email support lists for conditions like your boys have or even just adoptive parent support groups near you where you could perhaps find people who are more familiar with the local system and would share their knowledge of any help out there? I know a speech therapist in the US perhaps you or your partner could contact her and get a few tips to be working on with the boys then you'd not feel they were losing ground while you tried to find local support. Good Luck and keep open to opportunity sometimes the right thing comes along just when it seems all hope is lost.

I was talking with friends today about children and just how much what you do influences them - or at least you think it does but it isn't always the way you think it will. What they make of their lives has very little to do with what happens to them, far more to there personality and reactions, some people have terrible starts and never do anything worthwhile whereas others are driven to over achieve by the same beginning and equally having an easy life can result in a compassionate well balanced individual or a mindless self obsessed brat. Do what makes you happy, show your children that you need to meet your needs but that as far as possible you will support them in meeting theirs but at the end of the day we can't make anyone else happy. We are happy or sad by how we choose to react to our situation and we have to honest with ourselves as to what is a passing phase and what is a core need. If you want your children to live their lives fully and authentically as themselves set the example by living yours that way. enough philosophy I feel

I agree with this - at the end of the day as parents we are programmed to do and want the very best for our children. However that has to be weighed against our own personal happiness and fulfilment - these are our lives too and if we are miserable then our children will soon pick up on this. I guess that it is all about compromise and the fact that it is better to have everyone 75% happy. Our daughter wants to stay here too but we don't - that is making us feel guilty but at the end of the day we all have a life to live.

I have met loads of people that have been here for what they consider to be too long but can't go back now due to family commitments - grandchildren etc. I can only imagine the sadness that must go along with being in this position.

I was just thinking the same thing about the sadness. Its a difficult time. Never underestimate kids tho, they are fab at being nomads! I grew up in a very nomadic household, we moved faithfully every two years. It did us some good as we're all very independant and have a wide circle of mates from all different backgrounds. JadnRich is there no one that could take over the business for a few months? The only potential probs I can see are not only the disruption, but what if you don't want to return to aus after 6mths? Not sure what else I can say apart from, I'm so glad the UK didn't disappoint you. We love it here, its so green and its not that cold! And you're right, the sun does shine here

Sorry Eurotramp - but please don't be worried, just be aware. This was only my experience, but I still managed to leave my education with a first class honours degree and am a reasonably well balanced and adjusted person!

Also, UK state schools vary a lot, from the hopelessly poor to the absolutely brilliant.

Plus peer group, parents and social activities influence children a lot in the behaviour that they display. Bullies often come from a bullying home environment, or one in which they are not given much responsibilty hence 'take control' of things (other children) in a negative way to compensate for this. 'Off the rails' behaviour is similar in that more parental attention/intervention/support is often all that is needed to respond to this alarm call from the 'child' who has certain things going on in their life that they are unable to deal with in a more mature way. I know it doesn't feel like this when it is happening though!!!!

Enough said. Don't worry. I really must start on those tax returns....

Some interesting points Jad, I was looking forward to what you got up to.

On education : I prefer the Australian system where kids get all the life skills first, then catch up. After all many Australians do quite well in the European market. I can understand issues with people swapping between the two systems more than once.

One thing I do strongly believe in, and I've said this before - it's the parents not the schools. Show me the brightest achievers, or the all-rounders in any school, and 8 of 10 it's down to the parents instilling the right attitudes in them not the teachers. It's not just the RRR, you need to teach kids how to use iniative, be self-reliant, even use a bit of the old charm to get results.
(I know public schools are very elitist, and who can afford them, but they do actually get this bit of the kid right more so than the public system).

Show me a parent that blames any education 'system' and I'll show you a child who may not have had the best start in life because they are socialised to being in 'systems' and to not think outside the box. I was 3 years ahead at school, partly because I was starting to read at 3 because my parents made sure I was up to speed. I wasn't bored, I was just bemused at the stuff we were being asked to read; but no matter, my parents negotiated that I could bring in my own books etc, and do stuff from the year above in Maths occasionally. In the meantime I had a good time with my mates.

Most switched on parents just keep up with broad-based education at home whatever's going on at school. It doesn't have to be RRR, it's the attitude of learning, and the means to apply it in a variety of situations that is the most important thing. We live in a 'traditional' semi-rural area, and its very noticeable that all the kids are very up to speed in a range and diverse area of skills that are very noticeably absent in many British kids (and adults come to think of it).

cheers

Badge

Hi badge your babies now about 4 months old thats one hell of a report on the aussie education system !! I bet you had her tucked up there on 6 pillows piece of chalk tucked in the nappy, showing those kids what its all about

Seriously how are you, thought you might be out fighting the bushfires, MIL reckons melby is a haze of smoke from it all, sounds awful, doesnt look like your areas affected this time hopefully.

That's good to know Badge. Our soon attends a little village school near our house in the Cotswolds. It was recently rated the 7th best primary school in the UK according to those arse-about-face league tables. However I really object to his schooling there. Being born on the 28th of August, he's the youngest kid in the school and within the second week of his starting there, we were getting notes in his book bag that all the other kids had learnt 21 words, he was on three.

I couldn't believe they were on the treadmill the instant they walked through the door. Six weeks later and he'd caught up and indeed taken over many of the children and we had words with his teacher asking if she regretted the snipey comments she'd put in her book. She didn't of course. We also asked her if this was really the best way to start a child's education off -cramming them from the word go and assessing their every move - she said she thought it was madness, but that *that* was the system.

We're over the moon that they let the kids be kids for a bit longer and can't wait until Josh is in the little public school here in Berry. I've watched the kids out playing and they all seem like a very well adjusted bunch - playing football and tag and even running laps around the playing field. There's plenty of time later on for the mundanity of fact-learning that they laughably call an education in the UK - in the mean time I'm happy for our son to learn some of the really important life lessons, like common sense, getting on with your peers and learning to fend for yourself.

It's a thorny issue, this one of education. From my perspective, having my 4 children go through the Aussie system. The only real knowledge of the UK System is my own, and that was such a long while ago, as not to count.


I was talking the other day to the Iranian lady next door, who swears blind the Iranian system is the best in the world. She cited a few pointers and people and how Iranian's learn 3 languages etc etc. I'm sure many nationalities would claim the same.

However what I see at the end of the school life cycle, in Melbourne at least, is that the top 15 pct of performers are mostly asians, either Vietnamese or Hong kong chinese, or straight out Chinese. Why arn't the poms the majority represented in this group.

The best two state schools I know are the pointers for this, Unversity high school in Parkville Melbourne, and Glen waverley high. In fact two asian families have moved with their 11 year old children from Brunswick, to Glen Waverley just to put their kids through this school. Knowing that although their kids are bright, they will not be able to reach the level of the entrance exam that Uni High puts out of catchment children through, with almost a 100 pct asian intake from the out of catchment zoneing


I think the end result of education is dictated by what happens at home.


Edit...

In fact one of my 11 yo daughters best freinds, is the one thats moving to Glen waverley, just to go to the school there. She does 4 hours Homework per night, 6 nights a week. It isn't set by the school..

And that is exactly why we home ed. If it comes down to attitudes and values instilled at home, which I'm sure it does on the whole, why spend 10+ years of your life jumping through other peoples hoops rather than getting on living life on your terms.

AAHHHHH........ I thought the above had a 'familiar' ring to it.......... Badge...Nice to hear from you Although at 3 years old I thought you would have been taking your O Levels

I was 3 years ahead at school, partly because I was starting to read at 3 because my parents made sure I was up to speed. I wasn't bored, I was just bemused at the stuff we were being asked to read; but no matter, my parents negotiated that I could bring in my own books etc, and do stuff from the year above in Maths occasionally.

cheers

Badge
QUOTE=janeyray]AAHHHHH........ I thought the above had a 'familiar' ring to it.......... Badge...Nice to hear from you Although at 3 years old I thought you would have been taking your O Levels [/QUOTE]

my son, whos now 7yrs used to do the numeracy hour in the uk, in a couple of classes older - he loved it and it didnt cause socialising probs as he was with his normal class 4 everything else,
in oz, i was able to negotiate him skipping an academic year - so i expect you're right parent perseverence pays off wherever you live.
just ask as many qs to the prospective school first 2 main ones for me are "whats their policy on bullying? and whats their policy on differentiation for brighter kids?"
c x

You know whats so common it has to be funny, is children arriving from the UK and the parents within weeks discovering their child is now 'gifted', think how many times thats been said on this forum

I think asian students do well anywhere, simply because they put in the work, up here the ethnic population (sorry for want of a better word) is very small, yet on award nights and the OP 1 students are often our overseas asian students.

One of our kids mates is from singapore his mum was a teacher there, they have had all 4 kids declared as advanced, gifted, talented you name it, their mum simply explains in singapore even with classes of 40 the work is far advanced to here, maximum discipline and hours of home work. Not saying that is right but its or what everyone wants for thier child obviously but it works.