Am I going Mad!!!
Mar 29th 2008, 10:44 am
#16
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Re: Am I going Mad!!!
Sorry just read it back and it dont make sense does it. We have to be in Oz for 2 years to get our citizenship (we received our visas before 1st July 07) when the law changed and made all visas issued from 1st July 07 a condition of being resident for 4 years b4 your can get your citizenship. I have since been told that you can do 1 year in parts throughout your visa period (ie 5 years) but that in the last year the last 6 months have to be spent inside Australia. We have to go back for my sister in laws wedding next July. This would fall inside our last 6 months. If we have to start our 6 months stint again when we return then we will miss the cut off date that the government have set for the 2 year citizenship and we will revert to becoming 4 year applicants for citizenship. Hope this explains what I mean a bit better.
Mar 29th 2008, 10:49 am
#17
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Re: Am I going Mad!!!
Hi Guys,
I empathise with the predicament that many of us face living in limbo land. Many of us (myself included) seem to be guilty of spending our days dwelling on and romaticising about what we had in the past. I for example, move jobs and then want my old one back, move to Oz and then want my old life back, go home and then want to be back in Oz again ... get back to Oz again and yep, you guessed it.
I am trying to train my mind to focus 3/4 on the present and 1/4 on the future. This is hard work! The past is the past, it has gone. There is no point worrying about what may or may not happen in the future. I know that if I live my life like this, when I near the end I will look back and curse myself for wasting so much time.
I think that the most important thing we can try to do is focus on enjoying each and every day that we have. Try to do something that we enjoy every day, even if its just indulging in a banana bread and latte. Try to notice only the good things about our surroundings. Wherever we are, take a moment to appreciate that little rainbow lorikeet, the swim in the sea or pool, the drive through the beautiful English countryside, the trip to M&S.
Personally I've been through hell and back since this whole Australian saga began and I have absolutely no idea where I am going to spend the rest of my life which means I see only a brick wall when I look into the future.
However, I do now believe that life is too short to spend days wallowing in misery and therefore I'm trying to live in the present and enjoy and appreciate every day. Since coming back to Oz I have done a sailing course, a massage course, meditation and yoga, a tarot course ... you name it, anything to keep busy and keep my mind focused on the present.
I think that this may be the only way that I can work out a solution that I am happy with long term. If I go home again, at least this time I won't be able to curse myself for not having made enough effort to settle.
I am hoping this might be helpful and motivating and not patronising. I still have bad days when I completely forget about all of the above and feel like a big black cloud is hanging over my head. I hope that we can all find peace of mind wherever it may be.
Good luck to all x
I empathise with the predicament that many of us face living in limbo land. Many of us (myself included) seem to be guilty of spending our days dwelling on and romaticising about what we had in the past. I for example, move jobs and then want my old one back, move to Oz and then want my old life back, go home and then want to be back in Oz again ... get back to Oz again and yep, you guessed it.
I am trying to train my mind to focus 3/4 on the present and 1/4 on the future. This is hard work! The past is the past, it has gone. There is no point worrying about what may or may not happen in the future. I know that if I live my life like this, when I near the end I will look back and curse myself for wasting so much time.
I think that the most important thing we can try to do is focus on enjoying each and every day that we have. Try to do something that we enjoy every day, even if its just indulging in a banana bread and latte. Try to notice only the good things about our surroundings. Wherever we are, take a moment to appreciate that little rainbow lorikeet, the swim in the sea or pool, the drive through the beautiful English countryside, the trip to M&S.
Personally I've been through hell and back since this whole Australian saga began and I have absolutely no idea where I am going to spend the rest of my life which means I see only a brick wall when I look into the future.
However, I do now believe that life is too short to spend days wallowing in misery and therefore I'm trying to live in the present and enjoy and appreciate every day. Since coming back to Oz I have done a sailing course, a massage course, meditation and yoga, a tarot course ... you name it, anything to keep busy and keep my mind focused on the present.
I think that this may be the only way that I can work out a solution that I am happy with long term. If I go home again, at least this time I won't be able to curse myself for not having made enough effort to settle.
I am hoping this might be helpful and motivating and not patronising. I still have bad days when I completely forget about all of the above and feel like a big black cloud is hanging over my head. I hope that we can all find peace of mind wherever it may be.
Good luck to all x
Mar 29th 2008, 10:57 am
#18
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Re: Am I going Mad!!!
I know where you are emotionally. On this forum I have seen this theme so many times. It is a little like a woman fallen under a spell of "a new man": her heart is made up and the mind is running back and forth creating "reasons" justifying what she is about to do. All I can say is that if your case turns out the same as 1000's of others once back in U.K. : 10months, and the pendulum will be heading the other way. Remember the importance of job and income. Job market in U.K. has changed now. Jobs are more demanding and the pay and benefits are poor.
Do not exaggerate the family thing., How often did you see your family when you were in U.K.? Did they really have a lot of interest in your children? If your husband’s job is fairly pleasant and he has good rapport with his boss I would advise you to see a councilor instead of a travel agent.
I am not being funny moving country is not all win. Its trading in what you have for something else. Many Brits go somewhere else and then start trying to blame the locals for not being the same as in England. Then they start looking for English foods, newspapers, pubs and get together with other Brits until anyone watching is justify to ask: if you prefer so many things British why bother coming here?
Please sit down with husband and work out a 5 or 10 year plan. A plan with concrete objectives. And try and set your mind away from what is really a very bad habit...And save some money! Good luck! 
Do not exaggerate the family thing., How often did you see your family when you were in U.K.? Did they really have a lot of interest in your children? If your husband’s job is fairly pleasant and he has good rapport with his boss I would advise you to see a councilor instead of a travel agent.
I am not being funny moving country is not all win. Its trading in what you have for something else. Many Brits go somewhere else and then start trying to blame the locals for not being the same as in England. Then they start looking for English foods, newspapers, pubs and get together with other Brits until anyone watching is justify to ask: if you prefer so many things British why bother coming here?Please sit down with husband and work out a 5 or 10 year plan. A plan with concrete objectives. And try and set your mind away from what is really a very bad habit...And save some money!
Good luck!
Mar 29th 2008, 11:08 am
#19
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Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,006
Re: Am I going Mad!!!
Hi Guys,
I empathise with the predicament that many of us face living in limbo land. Many of us (myself included) seem to be guilty of spending our days dwelling on and romaticising about what we had in the past. I for example, move jobs and then want my old one back, move to Oz and then want my old life back, go home and then want to be back in Oz again ... get back to Oz again and yep, you guessed it.
I am trying to train my mind to focus 3/4 on the present and 1/4 on the future. This is hard work! The past is the past, it has gone. There is no point worrying about what may or may not happen in the future. I know that if I live my life like this, when I near the end I will look back and curse myself for wasting so much time.
I think that the most important thing we can try to do is focus on enjoying each and every day that we have. Try to do something that we enjoy every day, even if its just indulging in a banana bread and latte. Try to notice only the good things about our surroundings. Wherever we are, take a moment to appreciate that little rainbow lorikeet, the swim in the sea or pool, the drive through the beautiful English countryside, the trip to M&S.
Personally I've been through hell and back since this whole Australian saga began and I have absolutely no idea where I am going to spend the rest of my life which means I see only a brick wall when I look into the future.
However, I do now believe that life is too short to spend days wallowing in misery and therefore I'm trying to live in the present and enjoy and appreciate every day. Since coming back to Oz I have done a sailing course, a massage course, meditation and yoga, a tarot course ... you name it, anything to keep busy and keep my mind focused on the present.
I think that this may be the only way that I can work out a solution that I am happy with long term. If I go home again, at least this time I won't be able to curse myself for not having made enough effort to settle.
I am hoping this might be helpful and motivating and not patronising. I still have bad days when I completely forget about all of the above and feel like a big black cloud is hanging over my head. I hope that we can all find peace of mind wherever it may be.
Good luck to all x
I empathise with the predicament that many of us face living in limbo land. Many of us (myself included) seem to be guilty of spending our days dwelling on and romaticising about what we had in the past. I for example, move jobs and then want my old one back, move to Oz and then want my old life back, go home and then want to be back in Oz again ... get back to Oz again and yep, you guessed it.
I am trying to train my mind to focus 3/4 on the present and 1/4 on the future. This is hard work! The past is the past, it has gone. There is no point worrying about what may or may not happen in the future. I know that if I live my life like this, when I near the end I will look back and curse myself for wasting so much time.
I think that the most important thing we can try to do is focus on enjoying each and every day that we have. Try to do something that we enjoy every day, even if its just indulging in a banana bread and latte. Try to notice only the good things about our surroundings. Wherever we are, take a moment to appreciate that little rainbow lorikeet, the swim in the sea or pool, the drive through the beautiful English countryside, the trip to M&S.
Personally I've been through hell and back since this whole Australian saga began and I have absolutely no idea where I am going to spend the rest of my life which means I see only a brick wall when I look into the future.
However, I do now believe that life is too short to spend days wallowing in misery and therefore I'm trying to live in the present and enjoy and appreciate every day. Since coming back to Oz I have done a sailing course, a massage course, meditation and yoga, a tarot course ... you name it, anything to keep busy and keep my mind focused on the present.
I think that this may be the only way that I can work out a solution that I am happy with long term. If I go home again, at least this time I won't be able to curse myself for not having made enough effort to settle.
I am hoping this might be helpful and motivating and not patronising. I still have bad days when I completely forget about all of the above and feel like a big black cloud is hanging over my head. I hope that we can all find peace of mind wherever it may be.
Good luck to all x
I'm minded of Abraham Lincoln's saying: "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be" (interesting statement from someone who suffered from lifelong depression). It reminds me of the "fake it 'til you make it" saying I've seen in some recent posts. Sure, you can't just turn on a happy switch, but to a certain extent you can get up in the morning and decide to do things that a "normal" person would do. Just going through the everyday motions as if you are not feeling miserable can make a difference.
And no, definitely not patronizing at all.
Mar 29th 2008, 11:11 am
#20
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Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,006
Re: Am I going Mad!!!
While I was writing my post above, I found the following letter sent by Abraham Lincoln, sent to a woman whose father was killed in the Civil War. It's a reminder of other types of loss too (whihc I think applies to a lot of expats on this board - leaving behind friends and family, missing a certain lifestyle, losing quality of life, etc., all can be looked at with the same outlook that Abraham Lincoln writes in his letter:
Executive Mansion
Washington, December 23, 1862.
Dear Fanny
It is with deep grief that I learn of the death of your kind and brave Father; and, especially, that it is affecting your young heart beyond what is common in such cases. In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares. The older have learned to ever expect it. I am anxious to afford some alleviation of your present distress. Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You can not now realize that you will ever feel better. Is not this so? And yet it is a mistake. You are sure to be happy again. To know this, which is certainly true, will make you some less miserable now. I have had experience enough to know what I say; and you need only to believe it, to feel better at once. The memory of your dear Father, instead of an agony, will yet be a sad sweet feeling in your heart, of a purer and holier sort than you have known before.
Please present my kind regards to your afflicted mother.
Your sincere friend
A. Lincoln.
- This may be completely off-topic, but the following discussion of Lincoln's depression (or melancholia, or hypochondriasis as he called it) is quite fascinating and I think/hope might help other folks on here who go through periods of gloominess associated with the expat experience: http://home.att.net/~rjnorton/Lincoln84.html
Executive Mansion
Washington, December 23, 1862.
Dear Fanny
It is with deep grief that I learn of the death of your kind and brave Father; and, especially, that it is affecting your young heart beyond what is common in such cases. In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares. The older have learned to ever expect it. I am anxious to afford some alleviation of your present distress. Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You can not now realize that you will ever feel better. Is not this so? And yet it is a mistake. You are sure to be happy again. To know this, which is certainly true, will make you some less miserable now. I have had experience enough to know what I say; and you need only to believe it, to feel better at once. The memory of your dear Father, instead of an agony, will yet be a sad sweet feeling in your heart, of a purer and holier sort than you have known before.
Please present my kind regards to your afflicted mother.
Your sincere friend
A. Lincoln.
- This may be completely off-topic, but the following discussion of Lincoln's depression (or melancholia, or hypochondriasis as he called it) is quite fascinating and I think/hope might help other folks on here who go through periods of gloominess associated with the expat experience: http://home.att.net/~rjnorton/Lincoln84.html
Last edited by dunroving; Mar 29th 2008 at 11:18 am. Reason: Added Lincoln Web page
Mar 29th 2008, 11:56 am
#21
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Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Currently in Malaysia
Posts: 119
Re: Am I going Mad!!!
Hello everyone, I was just wondering if I am losing my mind!!! 
We moved over to Oz at the begining of November 07 we started missing F & F after being here 7 weeks, we batted back and forth about going back to the UK as we were really unhappy and it was starting to affect our children. We spoke to family and friends who all thought we were mad to go back and that we hadnt given it long enough out here in Oz (some family were really excited for us to come back and were really pleased we were) we lasted a grand total of 11 weeks and 5 days before we went back to the UK 
. We had the house put into storage with a delayed shipping time whilst we made a decision as to whether or not to stay in the UK, OH had a possible job offer in the UK which did not come off but he did get a job offer here in Oz. We decided to take the Oz job and come back, we stupidly thought that the homesickness eased through time (rather than because we knew we were going back to the UK)
. THe more people nagged at me in the UK and said to me that they knew we wouldnt last the more I wanted to prove people wrong and come back. :curse: Well we came back and have been back the grand total of 21 days!!!! and hey ho the downward spiral started with a vengance after only 6 days. 
I am really missing my family and wish that we had never came back. I wish that we had never started the visa process, that I had never sold my lovely house and given up a good life that we had to come out here for a supposed "dream". Instead of finding our dream I have found a nightmare, I am now getting more and more depressed about being out here and am feeling really trapped. :curse:OH is reluctant to give up his job here to go back to the UK to try to find a job in case he doesnt....our rental on the house here runs out on 11 June and I know that I dont want to rent somewhere else or buy anywhere the way I feel. I just want to go back to the UK, I am missing Tescos, my local area, the shops and most of all F & F, as I said I wish that I had my old life back. Any advice on my feelings would be appreciated as I feel my head is about to explode. Dcts want me to go onto medication but I am not sure thats the right path to take. Argggghhhhhh!!! :curse: Also how did/did any of you guys that are going back to the UK get a job secured before you went. Sorry for rambling.
We moved over to Oz at the begining of November 07 we started missing F & F after being here 7 weeks, we batted back and forth about going back to the UK as we were really unhappy and it was starting to affect our children. We spoke to family and friends who all thought we were mad to go back and that we hadnt given it long enough out here in Oz (some family were really excited for us to come back and were really pleased we were) we lasted a grand total of 11 weeks and 5 days before we went back to the UK . We had the house put into storage with a delayed shipping time whilst we made a decision as to whether or not to stay in the UK, OH had a possible job offer in the UK which did not come off but he did get a job offer here in Oz. We decided to take the Oz job and come back, we stupidly thought that the homesickness eased through time (rather than because we knew we were going back to the UK). THe more people nagged at me in the UK and said to me that they knew we wouldnt last the more I wanted to prove people wrong and come back. :curse: Well we came back and have been back the grand total of 21 days!!!! and hey ho the downward spiral started with a vengance after only 6 days. I am really missing my family and wish that we had never came back. I wish that we had never started the visa process, that I had never sold my lovely house and given up a good life that we had to come out here for a supposed "dream". Instead of finding our dream I have found a nightmare, I am now getting more and more depressed about being out here and am feeling really trapped. :curse:OH is reluctant to give up his job here to go back to the UK to try to find a job in case he doesnt....our rental on the house here runs out on 11 June and I know that I dont want to rent somewhere else or buy anywhere the way I feel. I just want to go back to the UK, I am missing Tescos, my local area, the shops and most of all F & F, as I said I wish that I had my old life back. Any advice on my feelings would be appreciated as I feel my head is about to explode. Dcts want me to go onto medication but I am not sure thats the right path to take. Argggghhhhhh!!! :curse: Also how did/did any of you guys that are going back to the UK get a job secured before you went. Sorry for rambling.I think a few things are:
1. you have to give it more time. It's been a major upheaval moving there and back and there again. Your head is obviously spinning. Don't be so hard on yourself in trying to welcome your new life with open arms. Everyone who moves goes through major emotional swings before they eventually settle.
2. As a wife and mother you will find that your husband settles into work eventually and makes friends /contacts more easily, your children will do the same through school and they will all be relatively ok. However you are left to your own devices and and it is easy to fall into a desperate state when you are at home all day. It is easy to refuse to get out of your pyjamas and close the curtains and hide all day. Many have been there as have I
. As a wife and mother you are still expected to be on the ball when your family gets home and sometimes though they try and understand they have no idea how you feel or where you are coming from. For your own wellbeing and he wellbeing of your family, you have to put yourself first and make the effort to go out and join some clubs, organisations etc and make contacts. It's amazing how newly acquired friends can help you through a rough day.3. Once you are happier then everyone else will be and it might surprise you how good things can turn out with time.
4. This in no way negates the feeling of missing your F&F, that will not go away but will become less and less important as time passes.
All I am trying to say is that how you feel is absolutely normal and if you are going to give yourself a chance of making this work you have to get out of the house and do some activities and meet others, it's crucial.
I wish you all the best and I hope you can work through these issues and eventually be content with your life.
Cheers
Mar 29th 2008, 11:58 am
#22
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Canberra
Posts: 8,378
Re: Am I going Mad!!!
Just spent the past couple of days doing an ACT therapy course - which encapsulates much of the thrust of the chain of messages on this thread. Not much point in going over what you cant change and the thoughts associated with all your history are going to be there no matter what you do so just learn to live with them and make a commitment to taking the small steps which will get you living your life according to your values. Of course it is hugely more complicated than that but the bottom line is the same - accept the past and work on the future. One of the best ways to deal with a painful situation is to get away from it and all power to those who have the gumption and energy to take themselves back to the place where they can live their lives according to their values.
Mar 29th 2008, 2:05 pm
#23
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 32
Re: Am I going Mad!!!
Hi thanks for the reply. For me I do not miss many things British, I do miss my family and close friends all of whom I saw several times a week, the reasons I came to oz were to give my kids a nicer style life, for us that has not happened the salaries are too low here for us to survive, financially we were better off in the UK and could give our kids more. I have also never blamed the locals here for not being the same as in Britain. I knew coming here would be a change in the way of our life as we knew it but I never knew how hard it would be, My family and my OH family have a very vested interest in my children and are missing them dreadfully as are we them. For some the life out in Oz is all they dreamed of, for us personally, it has turned into our nightmare. It is just not our choice. I love the place I am living in and Tasmania is the most beautiful place in Australia as far as I am concerned so I do not hate it here, I just had the distance between my family and all we know and are used too. Just out of interest where are you living UK or Oz? ping pong pom or ozzie?
Sorry to have stepped into a private dialogue.
Mar 29th 2008, 2:57 pm
#24
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,474
Re: Am I going Mad!!!
you definately do sound very depressed ... and very focused on the UK. How much have you tried to do things in Aus? I have no idea where you are or indeed I dont know anything about Oz but the one thing I encourage people who come here and are feeling desperately homesick and cant get their home country out of their mind is to embrace life here ..... there is no Tesco so just adapt to what you have, stop comparing and wondering "if only". It helps the time go by to live the life wherever you are rather than hanker for someone else.
Just as those in the UK when trying to emigrate become SO focused on their chosen destination their perceived dislike of the UK intensifies HUGELY. What was "lets go for a better life and prospects" becomes "we hate the UK, its a cesspit, crime ridden, hoody cultured, immigrant drowned, rain infested pit of a country" ..... it becomes all encompassing.
so my advice ... go out there, dig yourself out the hole, go to attractions, get out into the wildlife, embrace the shopping for what it is and adapt (believe me - where I live there are no supermarkets and only 2 shops on the entire island which measure about 40 sq ft so I am the queen of adapting!!).
I know its hard but try for your own sanity to wake up in the day and NOT think about the UK, plan something to do in your new country, take advantage of the many things it has to offer and exploit them ..... and maybe you'll start to like the things it offers.
even if its only until your rental ends in June try and enjoy what time you have left there .... you deserve to be happy and some of that comes from your own drive to make it happen.
hope it all works out for you guys whichever way.
Just as those in the UK when trying to emigrate become SO focused on their chosen destination their perceived dislike of the UK intensifies HUGELY. What was "lets go for a better life and prospects" becomes "we hate the UK, its a cesspit, crime ridden, hoody cultured, immigrant drowned, rain infested pit of a country" ..... it becomes all encompassing.
so my advice ... go out there, dig yourself out the hole, go to attractions, get out into the wildlife, embrace the shopping for what it is and adapt (believe me - where I live there are no supermarkets and only 2 shops on the entire island which measure about 40 sq ft so I am the queen of adapting!!).
I know its hard but try for your own sanity to wake up in the day and NOT think about the UK, plan something to do in your new country, take advantage of the many things it has to offer and exploit them ..... and maybe you'll start to like the things it offers.
even if its only until your rental ends in June try and enjoy what time you have left there .... you deserve to be happy and some of that comes from your own drive to make it happen.
hope it all works out for you guys whichever way.
Hello everyone, I was just wondering if I am losing my mind!!! We moved over to Oz at the begining of November 07 we started missing F & F after being here 7 weeks, we batted back and forth about going back to the UK as we were really unhappy and it was starting to affect our children. We spoke to family and friends who all thought we were mad to go back and that we hadnt given it long enough out here in Oz (some family were really excited for us to come back and were really pleased we were) we lasted a grand total of 11 weeks and 5 days before we went back to the UK . We had the house put into storage with a delayed shipping time whilst we made a decision as to whether or not to stay in the UK, OH had a possible job offer in the UK which did not come off but he did get a job offer here in Oz. We decided to take the Oz job and come back, we stupidly thought that the homesickness eased through time (rather than because we knew we were going back to the UK). THe more people nagged at me in the UK and said to me that they knew we wouldnt last the more I wanted to prove people wrong and come back. :curse: Well we came back and have been back the grand total of 21 days!!!! and hey ho the downward spiral started with a vengance after only 6 days. I am really missing my family and wish that we had never came back. I wish that we had never started the visa process, that I had never sold my lovely house and given up a good life that we had to come out here for a supposed "dream". Instead of finding our dream I have found a nightmare, I am now getting more and more depressed about being out here and am feeling really trapped. :curse:OH is reluctant to give up his job here to go back to the UK to try to find a job in case he doesnt....our rental on the house here runs out on 11 June and I know that I dont want to rent somewhere else or buy anywhere the way I feel. I just want to go back to the UK, I am missing Tescos, my local area, the shops and most of all F & F, as I said I wish that I had my old life back. Any advice on my feelings would be appreciated as I feel my head is about to explode. Dcts want me to go onto medication but I am not sure thats the right path to take. Argggghhhhhh!!! :curse: Also how did/did any of you guys that are going back to the UK get a job secured before you went. Sorry for rambling.
We moved over to Oz at the begining of November 07 we started missing F & F after being here 7 weeks, we batted back and forth about going back to the UK as we were really unhappy and it was starting to affect our children. We spoke to family and friends who all thought we were mad to go back and that we hadnt given it long enough out here in Oz (some family were really excited for us to come back and were really pleased we were) we lasted a grand total of 11 weeks and 5 days before we went back to the UK . We had the house put into storage with a delayed shipping time whilst we made a decision as to whether or not to stay in the UK, OH had a possible job offer in the UK which did not come off but he did get a job offer here in Oz. We decided to take the Oz job and come back, we stupidly thought that the homesickness eased through time (rather than because we knew we were going back to the UK). THe more people nagged at me in the UK and said to me that they knew we wouldnt last the more I wanted to prove people wrong and come back. :curse: Well we came back and have been back the grand total of 21 days!!!! and hey ho the downward spiral started with a vengance after only 6 days. I am really missing my family and wish that we had never came back. I wish that we had never started the visa process, that I had never sold my lovely house and given up a good life that we had to come out here for a supposed "dream". Instead of finding our dream I have found a nightmare, I am now getting more and more depressed about being out here and am feeling really trapped. :curse:OH is reluctant to give up his job here to go back to the UK to try to find a job in case he doesnt....our rental on the house here runs out on 11 June and I know that I dont want to rent somewhere else or buy anywhere the way I feel. I just want to go back to the UK, I am missing Tescos, my local area, the shops and most of all F & F, as I said I wish that I had my old life back. Any advice on my feelings would be appreciated as I feel my head is about to explode. Dcts want me to go onto medication but I am not sure thats the right path to take. Argggghhhhhh!!! :curse: Also how did/did any of you guys that are going back to the UK get a job secured before you went. Sorry for rambling.Last edited by username 34; Mar 29th 2008 at 3:08 pm.
Mar 29th 2008, 3:07 pm
#25
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 142
Re: Am I going Mad!!!
Hello everyone, I was just wondering if I am losing my mind!!! We moved over to Oz at the begining of November 07 we started missing F & F after being here 7 weeks, we batted back and forth about going back to the UK as we were really unhappy and it was starting to affect our children. We spoke to family and friends who all thought we were mad to go back and that we hadnt given it long enough out here in Oz (some family were really excited for us to come back and were really pleased we were) we lasted a grand total of 11 weeks and 5 days before we went back to the UK . We had the house put into storage with a delayed shipping time whilst we made a decision as to whether or not to stay in the UK, OH had a possible job offer in the UK which did not come off but he did get a job offer here in Oz. We decided to take the Oz job and come back, we stupidly thought that the homesickness eased through time (rather than because we knew we were going back to the UK). THe more people nagged at me in the UK and said to me that they knew we wouldnt last the more I wanted to prove people wrong and come back. :curse: Well we came back and have been back the grand total of 21 days!!!! and hey ho the downward spiral started with a vengance after only 6 days. I am really missing my family and wish that we had never came back. I wish that we had never started the visa process, that I had never sold my lovely house and given up a good life that we had to come out here for a supposed "dream". Instead of finding our dream I have found a nightmare, I am now getting more and more depressed about being out here and am feeling really trapped. :curse:OH is reluctant to give up his job here to go back to the UK to try to find a job in case he doesnt....our rental on the house here runs out on 11 June and I know that I dont want to rent somewhere else or buy anywhere the way I feel. I just want to go back to the UK, I am missing Tescos, my local area, the shops and most of all F & F, as I said I wish that I had my old life back. Any advice on my feelings would be appreciated as I feel my head is about to explode. Dcts want me to go onto medication but I am not sure thats the right path to take. Argggghhhhhh!!! :curse: Also how did/did any of you guys that are going back to the UK get a job secured before you went. Sorry for rambling.
We moved over to Oz at the begining of November 07 we started missing F & F after being here 7 weeks, we batted back and forth about going back to the UK as we were really unhappy and it was starting to affect our children. We spoke to family and friends who all thought we were mad to go back and that we hadnt given it long enough out here in Oz (some family were really excited for us to come back and were really pleased we were) we lasted a grand total of 11 weeks and 5 days before we went back to the UK . We had the house put into storage with a delayed shipping time whilst we made a decision as to whether or not to stay in the UK, OH had a possible job offer in the UK which did not come off but he did get a job offer here in Oz. We decided to take the Oz job and come back, we stupidly thought that the homesickness eased through time (rather than because we knew we were going back to the UK). THe more people nagged at me in the UK and said to me that they knew we wouldnt last the more I wanted to prove people wrong and come back. :curse: Well we came back and have been back the grand total of 21 days!!!! and hey ho the downward spiral started with a vengance after only 6 days. I am really missing my family and wish that we had never came back. I wish that we had never started the visa process, that I had never sold my lovely house and given up a good life that we had to come out here for a supposed "dream". Instead of finding our dream I have found a nightmare, I am now getting more and more depressed about being out here and am feeling really trapped. :curse:OH is reluctant to give up his job here to go back to the UK to try to find a job in case he doesnt....our rental on the house here runs out on 11 June and I know that I dont want to rent somewhere else or buy anywhere the way I feel. I just want to go back to the UK, I am missing Tescos, my local area, the shops and most of all F & F, as I said I wish that I had my old life back. Any advice on my feelings would be appreciated as I feel my head is about to explode. Dcts want me to go onto medication but I am not sure thats the right path to take. Argggghhhhhh!!! :curse: Also how did/did any of you guys that are going back to the UK get a job secured before you went. Sorry for rambling.I'm sorry that your so unhappy , You know whats right for you and your family more than anyone else.
We haven't left yet and hopefully I wont feel the way you do, I was just wondering what it was that made you want to leave as you've said you were happy in the Uk and you want your old life back.
Good luck with your decision
Mar 29th 2008, 3:59 pm
#26
Retired
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 34,649
Re: Am I going Mad!!!
Sorry just read it back and it dont make sense does it. We have to be in Oz for 2 years to get our citizenship (we received our visas before 1st July 07) when the law changed and made all visas issued from 1st July 07 a condition of being resident for 4 years b4 your can get your citizenship. I have since been told that you can do 1 year in parts throughout your visa period (ie 5 years) but that in the last year the last 6 months have to be spent inside Australia. We have to go back for my sister in laws wedding next July. This would fall inside our last 6 months. If we have to start our 6 months stint again when we return then we will miss the cut off date that the government have set for the 2 year citizenship and we will revert to becoming 4 year applicants for citizenship. Hope this explains what I mean a bit better.
Look at the requirements again. If you are applying under the 2 year rules, you need a total of:
- 2 years in the preceding 5 years; and
- including 12 months (365 days) in the 2 years before application
Where on http://www.citizenship.gov.au (don't rely on what you are "told") does it say you cannot leave Australia for a vacation in the 6 months before you apply?
Mar 29th 2008, 4:07 pm
#27
Account Closed
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 503
Re: Am I going Mad!!!
Look at the requirements again. If you are applying under the 2 year rules, you need a total of:
- 2 years in the preceding 5 years; and
- including 12 months (365 days) in the 2 years before application
Where on http://www.citizenship.gov.au (don't rely on what you are "told") does it say you cannot leave Australia for a vacation in the 6 months before you apply?
- 2 years in the preceding 5 years; and
- including 12 months (365 days) in the 2 years before application
Where on http://www.citizenship.gov.au (don't rely on what you are "told") does it say you cannot leave Australia for a vacation in the 6 months before you apply?
It was my understanding that if you left for a four week holiday that you had to add that four weeks to your two years, therefore two years and four weeks, or 12 months and four weeks.
M
Mar 29th 2008, 4:49 pm
#28
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 3,028
Re: Am I going Mad!!!
Hello everyone, I was just wondering if I am losing my mind!!! We moved over to Oz at the begining of November 07 we started missing F & F after being here 7 weeks, we batted back and forth about going back to the UK as we were really unhappy and it was starting to affect our children. We spoke to family and friends who all thought we were mad to go back and that we hadnt given it long enough out here in Oz (some family were really excited for us to come back and were really pleased we were) we lasted a grand total of 11 weeks and 5 days before we went back to the UK . We had the house put into storage with a delayed shipping time whilst we made a decision as to whether or not to stay in the UK, OH had a possible job offer in the UK which did not come off but he did get a job offer here in Oz. We decided to take the Oz job and come back, we stupidly thought that the homesickness eased through time (rather than because we knew we were going back to the UK). THe more people nagged at me in the UK and said to me that they knew we wouldnt last the more I wanted to prove people wrong and come back. :curse: Well we came back and have been back the grand total of 21 days!!!! and hey ho the downward spiral started with a vengance after only 6 days. I am really missing my family and wish that we had never came back. I wish that we had never started the visa process, that I had never sold my lovely house and given up a good life that we had to come out here for a supposed "dream". Instead of finding our dream I have found a nightmare, I am now getting more and more depressed about being out here and am feeling really trapped. :curse:OH is reluctant to give up his job here to go back to the UK to try to find a job in case he doesnt....our rental on the house here runs out on 11 June and I know that I dont want to rent somewhere else or buy anywhere the way I feel. I just want to go back to the UK, I am missing Tescos, my local area, the shops and most of all F & F, as I said I wish that I had my old life back. Any advice on my feelings would be appreciated as I feel my head is about to explode. Dcts want me to go onto medication but I am not sure thats the right path to take. Argggghhhhhh!!! :curse: Also how did/did any of you guys that are going back to the UK get a job secured before you went. Sorry for rambling.
We moved over to Oz at the begining of November 07 we started missing F & F after being here 7 weeks, we batted back and forth about going back to the UK as we were really unhappy and it was starting to affect our children. We spoke to family and friends who all thought we were mad to go back and that we hadnt given it long enough out here in Oz (some family were really excited for us to come back and were really pleased we were) we lasted a grand total of 11 weeks and 5 days before we went back to the UK . We had the house put into storage with a delayed shipping time whilst we made a decision as to whether or not to stay in the UK, OH had a possible job offer in the UK which did not come off but he did get a job offer here in Oz. We decided to take the Oz job and come back, we stupidly thought that the homesickness eased through time (rather than because we knew we were going back to the UK). THe more people nagged at me in the UK and said to me that they knew we wouldnt last the more I wanted to prove people wrong and come back. :curse: Well we came back and have been back the grand total of 21 days!!!! and hey ho the downward spiral started with a vengance after only 6 days. I am really missing my family and wish that we had never came back. I wish that we had never started the visa process, that I had never sold my lovely house and given up a good life that we had to come out here for a supposed "dream". Instead of finding our dream I have found a nightmare, I am now getting more and more depressed about being out here and am feeling really trapped. :curse:OH is reluctant to give up his job here to go back to the UK to try to find a job in case he doesnt....our rental on the house here runs out on 11 June and I know that I dont want to rent somewhere else or buy anywhere the way I feel. I just want to go back to the UK, I am missing Tescos, my local area, the shops and most of all F & F, as I said I wish that I had my old life back. Any advice on my feelings would be appreciated as I feel my head is about to explode. Dcts want me to go onto medication but I am not sure thats the right path to take. Argggghhhhhh!!! :curse: Also how did/did any of you guys that are going back to the UK get a job secured before you went. Sorry for rambling.11 weeks..... Hardly a length of time to immerse yourself in the new environment and, by going back to the UK, all those months, sorry weeks, stand for **** all..... Either someone didnt do there homework or you deserve to be back in cold, snowy, shitty, full of Eastern Europeans UK!!!!
Mar 29th 2008, 5:32 pm
#29
Ping-ponger
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,006
Re: Am I going Mad!!!
Sorry if this is not one of the 'God, I feel for you' types of reply you were expecting but............
11 weeks..... Hardly a length of time to immerse yourself in the new environment and, by going back to the UK, all those months, sorry weeks, stand for **** all..... Either someone didnt do there homework or you deserve to be back in cold, snowy, shitty, full of Eastern Europeans UK!!!!
11 weeks..... Hardly a length of time to immerse yourself in the new environment and, by going back to the UK, all those months, sorry weeks, stand for **** all..... Either someone didnt do there homework or you deserve to be back in cold, snowy, shitty, full of Eastern Europeans UK!!!!
Mar 29th 2008, 5:44 pm
#30
Account Closed
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 503
Re: Am I going Mad!!!
If you can't say something nice, say nothing.
It would be lovely if we lived in a perfect world, and it would appear that 'Scotsexpat' does, how lucky is he/she?
But, please, Scotsexpat, show a little compasion for others who are not as 'lucky' as yourself.
Remember.... what goes around comes around.
You may need the sympathy/empathy offered on this forum.
M