This is a good attitude to have.
it's taken me a while to realise that that's what family is about. I live 10 mins from family and we see each other sometimes once a week sometimes once a fortnight. We are all too busy to meet more often.
I don't expect them to be on tap to babysit my children etc. however they are usually willing to help out if i ask -which isn't very often.
when we do meet we have a good time and enjoy each others company. we celebrate birthdays etc. There is no presure.
Things used to be different - i would get upset if they couldn't help us out for some reason or if Nana didn't make time to come and see the kids. Now i realise that life goes on and I take the kids to see nana. i am now much happier.

I really liked your post OP - honest and true to what you feel. I would say the emotional tie we have to our friends and fmaily is very strong and I hate saying goodbye each time we leave them after visiting the UK BUT... its the rose tinted specs syndrome of thinking we spent every waking moment with our family and friends, which we certainly didnt, and forgetting the family rows and problems, which we now dont have living overseas!

I know we dont want to return to the UK, we love life here, we go back for summer and Christmas which we are very fortunate to be able to afford and family often come to visit so it makes it far more comfortable for us being here.

The emotional pulls vary for each person - some find their return to the UK a massive relief and what they wanted - some like yourselves find that life isnt all about that. ITs each to their own and maybe it takes ping pomming to find that out.

good luck to you - I hope Oz 2nd time round gives you all you what you're looking for - as we have found where we are.

It looked fine when I visited in April! What have you all done to it?

Maybe I should go back to Dorset instead. Or perhaps I'll just move directly to Victoria and save a few thousand miles.

The thought of ping-ponging and having 2nd thoughts is really scary for me. At the moment we have decided to return to the UK because mainly it is costing all our money and holiday time to visit friends and family. However, we can't afford to go back yet. We are saving every cent, and hope to be able to afford to return in about 10 months time or so.

We are not unhappy here, just haven't made any close enough friends to replace family in any way, and don't feel like we can afford to stay here. It was OK when our son was under 2 because the flights were so much cheaper, but now he is over 2 it is costing an arm and a leg. We are hoping for another baby, and if that happens, the cost of visiting is only going to get worse and worse.

But of course, the whole time that we stay here whilst having made the decision to return, the second thoughts keep coming. It was hard when the weather was just nice - like a really nice british summers day. But it is starting to get hot again and I'm sure as soon as it get too hot to comfortably stay outdoors for any length of time, the thoughts of returning to the UK will be more favourable again.

We never lived close to our families and only really saw them every few months, but that is going to be much much better than once every year (if we can continue to afford that). I really really hope that we are not going to be making a mistake as my other half has already said that this is it - once we go back he will not want to go anywhere else again, until retirement anyway. I guess what we both really want in life now is to feel settled somewhere and stay there, and because we are in limbo for at least another 10 months, we don't feel settled here. It's funny because I never thought I would hear mself say anything like that - I have always had itchy feet and not stayed in the same place for more than 2 years since leaving home at 18! But yes, the time has come!

Too many decisions. Our son is a few months off being 3 years old and we have to decide if it is worth putting him into preschool here, or just wait til we get back??

well good luck with it all - that being in limbo certainly isn't great, but maybe it's better to just keep everything as normal as possible (ie send your little man to kinder) incase you end up staying. Who knows what can happen in 10mths to help you change your mind.

Hi Mummy (strange saying that!)
I notice you are in Sydney and to be honest with you, when we were in Sydney we found it especially hard to meet people and make close friends. Maybe that was just us, but we also had a little baby and found that the friends and family we had grown up with and got used to were on the other side of the world and as soon as we had a family felt we wanted them to be a part of our and our sons lives. I had my doubts more than my partner and looking back, was looking at family with rose tinted glasses, also friends tend to move on as well and now that you are a family, friends you had as partners/single life will treat you slightly differently.

Im only saying this as i dont want to see you get to the UK and in 6 months be regretful. What I would say to you is if you are not feeling totally at ease, try somewhere else, go to another city, try getting another perspective of Australia. This will be easier for you guys than moving over and realising that you have made the wrong decision. Of course you could come back and everything could be great,but........if you are on a limited budget you could try another place in Australia. As for us we found it difficult to fit in with the lifestyle in Sydney like you but were unsure about Melbourne or Perth......so we are going to check out Perth probably first put our stuff in storage....if things work out there then will get worldy possessions shipped otherwise if we have itchy feet for Melbourne then we are free to check this out. What i am trying to say is once you get on the plane to the UK there is no heading back.......trying another city keeps the UK door adjar but buys you time to work out is going back what you really want? ....wishing you all the best in your decisions......

Not sure that you really missed anything. My understanding was that the OP was saying that once they had a child, they thought family was very important to them/him and thus moved back to the UK so that their child would have its grandparents and other family members actively involved in their day-to-day lives. A lot of people want this. Happening less and less of course with increased mobility of the workforce and vastly increased travel options (aka BE!) Anyhow, sadly this didn't happen as they had hoped and thus they are returning to OZ since that offers them more of the other things that they want out in their life. Good luck.

Hello from another prospective ping ponger. Back to Oz early 2007.

I have given up trying to explain to friends in the Uk why i am giving it another go. Even people who I considered to be close supportive friends have reacted by yelling "you are making a big mistake". Hardly anyone I know seems to understand that you you can love Australia/NZ/wherever, but find it very difficult and suffer homesickness, loneliness, feelings of isolation, that can overwhelm you and lead you to give up so easily.(6 months in my case)

My friends have all said "but you hated Australia", and thats so untrue. I loved the country, I just found it very tough (i emigrated alone). Its only the ping pongers and prospective ping pongers on here who seem to understand. Just adding my two pennys worth!

It would be interesting to see the stats of all shipping companies on what percentage of their customer do return after they have been back in UK for a while.

The solution to all problems relating to this subject so far.


Money-Wedge-Cabbage-Folding stuff.

Live in UK for six months/Oz six months--or alternate month about. The Royals manage a similar system,after a hectic day of ribbon cutting, shaking hands, eating caviar-Mustique for a month to get over it.

So how early in 2007 are you hoping to go back? and how long have you been back in the UK for?

We have gone through a period of knowing that we want to be back there, and my husband has a job to start in January but like you we have had a strange reaction from people. The OH's parents have started the 'poor kids' and we're 'breaking their heart' thing and so now I'm wondering if we really are doing the right thing by them. It is so difficult. In an ideal world they would come and live in Australia and it would all be ok - except they don't want to live there and they want us to live here 5mins down the road from them.

I dont think you should have to explain yourself to anyone. Your emotions and feelings are yours and yours to cope with and you did what suited you at the time and are doing so again.

You can put your journey down to experience and learn from it, after all, there is no law that states you cannot try anything more than once.

This time it will be different for you because you have done it before, that is not to say it might not be hard.

Good luck to you and in my opinion, you deserve a pat on the back for doing it again and I hope it goes well for you.



Samantha