What are the Departments roles in achieving the Company’s target & Strategy?
Aug 27th 2007, 8:16 pm
#61
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 18,187
Re: What are the Departments roles in achieving the Company’s target & Strategy?
Aug 27th 2007, 9:05 pm
#64
Powered by cows
Joined: Jul 2004
Location: currently Dubai, ex UK
Posts: 4,582
Re: What are the Departments roles in achieving the Company’s target & Strategy?
Getting back on track - some answers:
(quoted)
Dear Expats;
What are the Departments roles in achieving the Company’s target & Strategy in a Dubai Company?
Role of Technical Department - Identify technical things. Once safely identified then ensure upper management does not realise what the dangerous things do. we don't know what the f**k the technical things do or how we should operate said things. They might hurt us. We don't want that.
Role of Marketing - We are here to obscure any reason at all. We'll SWAT analyse your ass baby, but we don't have a clue about how to increase market share, differntiate between PR, marketing or advertising, adhere to briefs or budgets or indeed have a clue what we do but f**k it baby we'll see you in the Apartment and promise the Earth none the less.
Role of Sales - We know we're here to sell, but f**k it - that's far too much like hard work. I want to work in Marketing - I don't know what they do, but I do know they get the hot ones at the Apartment so I need to get in there. Meeting the bottom line hey!
Role of Customer Care - I'm sorry, but you've lost me there...??? We Don't Care....
Role of IT (Billing) (Subscriber Billing) - IT = shut down, reboot. Billling = shut down, reboot and then give me 100 dhs for telling you this.
Role of Finance - To give you a very hard time on getting back what you are owed.
Role of Human Resource - To wear cowboy hats and ride each other kiddy back style round the office with lassos and pretend to "Get Those Doggies Home" while smoking Cheroots....
Role Admin. - There is none.
Role of GM - Check shares, FOREX and invest in property while getting paid to pretend the orchestration of the f**king madhouse while it somehow makes money.
(end quoted)
(quoted)
Dear Expats;
What are the Departments roles in achieving the Company’s target & Strategy in a Dubai Company?
Role of Technical Department - Identify technical things. Once safely identified then ensure upper management does not realise what the dangerous things do. we don't know what the f**k the technical things do or how we should operate said things. They might hurt us. We don't want that.
Role of Marketing - We are here to obscure any reason at all. We'll SWAT analyse your ass baby, but we don't have a clue about how to increase market share, differntiate between PR, marketing or advertising, adhere to briefs or budgets or indeed have a clue what we do but f**k it baby we'll see you in the Apartment and promise the Earth none the less.
Role of Sales - We know we're here to sell, but f**k it - that's far too much like hard work. I want to work in Marketing - I don't know what they do, but I do know they get the hot ones at the Apartment so I need to get in there. Meeting the bottom line hey!
Role of Customer Care - I'm sorry, but you've lost me there...??? We Don't Care....
Role of IT (Billing) (Subscriber Billing) - IT = shut down, reboot. Billling = shut down, reboot and then give me 100 dhs for telling you this.
Role of Finance - To give you a very hard time on getting back what you are owed.
Role of Human Resource - To wear cowboy hats and ride each other kiddy back style round the office with lassos and pretend to "Get Those Doggies Home" while smoking Cheroots....
Role Admin. - There is none.
Role of GM - Check shares, FOREX and invest in property while getting paid to pretend the orchestration of the f**king madhouse while it somehow makes money.
(end quoted)
Last edited by Autonomy; Aug 27th 2007 at 9:09 pm.
Aug 28th 2007, 3:54 am
#65
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: dubai
Posts: 2,674
Re: What are the Departments roles in achieving the Company’s target & Strategy?
Getting back on track - some answers:
(quoted)
Dear Expats;
What are the Departments roles in achieving the Company’s target & Strategy in a Dubai Company?
Role of Technical Department - Identify technical things. Once safely identified then ensure upper management does not realise what the dangerous things do. we don't know what the f**k the technical things do or how we should operate said things. They might hurt us. We don't want that.
Role of Marketing - We are here to obscure any reason at all. We'll SWAT analyse your ass baby, but we don't have a clue about how to increase market share, differntiate between PR, marketing or advertising, adhere to briefs or budgets or indeed have a clue what we do but f**k it baby we'll see you in the Apartment and promise the Earth none the less.
Role of Sales - We know we're here to sell, but f**k it - that's far too much like hard work. I want to work in Marketing - I don't know what they do, but I do know they get the hot ones at the Apartment so I need to get in there. Meeting the bottom line hey!
Role of Customer Care - I'm sorry, but you've lost me there...??? We Don't Care....
Role of IT (Billing) (Subscriber Billing) - IT = shut down, reboot. Billling = shut down, reboot and then give me 100 dhs for telling you this.
Role of Finance - To give you a very hard time on getting back what you are owed.
Role of Human Resource - To wear cowboy hats and ride each other kiddy back style round the office with lassos and pretend to "Get Those Doggies Home" while smoking Cheroots....
Role Admin. - There is none.
Role of GM - Check shares, FOREX and invest in property while getting paid to pretend the orchestration of the f**king madhouse while it somehow makes money.
(end quoted)
(quoted)
Dear Expats;
What are the Departments roles in achieving the Company’s target & Strategy in a Dubai Company?
Role of Technical Department - Identify technical things. Once safely identified then ensure upper management does not realise what the dangerous things do. we don't know what the f**k the technical things do or how we should operate said things. They might hurt us. We don't want that.
Role of Marketing - We are here to obscure any reason at all. We'll SWAT analyse your ass baby, but we don't have a clue about how to increase market share, differntiate between PR, marketing or advertising, adhere to briefs or budgets or indeed have a clue what we do but f**k it baby we'll see you in the Apartment and promise the Earth none the less.
Role of Sales - We know we're here to sell, but f**k it - that's far too much like hard work. I want to work in Marketing - I don't know what they do, but I do know they get the hot ones at the Apartment so I need to get in there. Meeting the bottom line hey!
Role of Customer Care - I'm sorry, but you've lost me there...??? We Don't Care....
Role of IT (Billing) (Subscriber Billing) - IT = shut down, reboot. Billling = shut down, reboot and then give me 100 dhs for telling you this.
Role of Finance - To give you a very hard time on getting back what you are owed.
Role of Human Resource - To wear cowboy hats and ride each other kiddy back style round the office with lassos and pretend to "Get Those Doggies Home" while smoking Cheroots....
Role Admin. - There is none.
Role of GM - Check shares, FOREX and invest in property while getting paid to pretend the orchestration of the f**king madhouse while it somehow makes money.
(end quoted)
Aug 28th 2007, 6:56 am
#66
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Posts: 1,038
Re: What are the Departments roles in achieving the Company’s target & Strategy?
Have attached 2 that scared the daylights
until they told me nothing to worry
Aug 28th 2007, 7:06 am
#67
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 13,553
Re: What are the Departments roles in achieving the Company’s target & Strategy?
I'm only having my shoulder done but as it's bloody painful just to lift a glass of water to my mouth, something must be wrong........
Pictures to follow, then...... can't let you have all the glory.......
Aug 28th 2007, 7:09 am
#68
Concierge
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 29,625
Re: What are the Departments roles in achieving the Company’s target & Strategy?
Blimey............ is that you? I didn't know you were in Planet of the Apes......?
I'm only having my shoulder done but as it's bloody painful just to lift a glass of water to my mouth, something must be wrong........
Pictures to follow, then...... can't let you have all the glory.......
I'm only having my shoulder done but as it's bloody painful just to lift a glass of water to my mouth, something must be wrong........
Pictures to follow, then...... can't let you have all the glory.......
Aug 28th 2007, 7:17 am
#69
Banned
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Kuwait - Sringboard to Djibouti
Posts: 305
Re: What are the Departments roles in achieving the Company’s target & Strategy?
Oktoberon, how did you get a broken nose?
Aug 28th 2007, 7:18 am
#70
Banned
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Kuwait - Sringboard to Djibouti
Posts: 305
