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I need entertaining!

I need entertaining!

Old Aug 17th 2005, 8:02 am
  #1  
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Smile I need entertaining!

Am struggling with the whole work thing today and would welcome some distractions.

So if any of you are equally fed up at work please feel free to send me some amusing websites to look at, quizzes, jokes, whatever really.

And whilst I have some time on my hands, who wants some karma?? I have lots to give!
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Old Aug 17th 2005, 8:07 am
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Default Re: I need entertaining!

Is that KuDoSu thing you do available online?
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Old Aug 17th 2005, 8:24 am
  #3  
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Default Re: I need entertaining!

Originally Posted by kelvynd
Is that KuDoSu thing you do available online?

Not sure. Probably. But not starting that - want something to do for 5 minutes - if I do sukodo I'll spend 3 hours on it!
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Old Aug 17th 2005, 8:41 am
  #4  
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Default Re: I need entertaining!

http://www.channel4.com/sport/micros...bringiton.html

My top score is about 3500 for a single hit - get him in the jail!!
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Old Aug 17th 2005, 8:59 am
  #5  
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Default Re: I need entertaining!

Watch footage of me standing up on a wakeboard. That should take 15 seconds
 
Old Aug 17th 2005, 9:02 am
  #6  
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Default Re: I need entertaining!

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man,clutching a clip board and yelling, "You Sign! You sign!" Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder, "You Sign! You sign!" Nelson says to him, "Look, you've obviously got the wrong man", and shuts the door in his face.

The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it, the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!"

Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the little Chinese man back, shouting: "Look, go away! You've got the wrong man. I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again.

The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting, "You sign! You sign!" Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts.

This time Nelson loses his temper completely. He picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him: "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?" The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard,And says:





(It's a beauty)






(wait for it)









(Get your best Chinese accent ready)







"You not Nissan Main Dealer?"
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Old Aug 17th 2005, 9:10 am
  #7  
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Default Re: I need entertaining!

OK - what's the next row in the sequence -

1
11
21
1211
111221

(thank you TS!)
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Old Aug 17th 2005, 9:11 am
  #8  
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Default Re: I need entertaining!

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the level has just been raised from 'miffed' to "peeved'! Soon though, the levels may be raised yet again to "irritated' or even " a bit cross"!! Londoners have not been a "bit cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorised from "tiresome" to "a bloody nuisance", the last time a "bloody nuisance" warning level was issued was during the great fire in 1666.

Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from RUN to HIDE. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate.

The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert, The Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle east ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "attack the world" and "beg the British for help".

Finally here in GB we've gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to "make another cup of tea". Our higher levels are "remain resolutely cheerful" and "win all except the cricket"
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Old Aug 17th 2005, 9:19 am
  #9  
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Default Re: I need entertaining!

The Crimson Room

There are 13 items hidden in this room in order to let you get out.

If you found:
0-6 items, your IQ is very low, total idiot
6-8 items, Low IQ, u r an idiot
9-10 items, u r normal
11-12 items, your IQ is high, above the average.
13 items found and get out of the room


http://flash.qbol.net/pl;p/youxi/images/04042203.swf
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Old Aug 17th 2005, 9:41 am
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Default Re: I need entertaining!

A friend is having trouble with his systems. Last year he upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which he’d used for years without any trouble. However, apparently there are conflicts between these two systems and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend with the sound turned off. But to make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as: Lads Night Out 3.1, Golf 2 and Playboy 6.0.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better, Girlfriend 3.0 had many bugs and a virus in his system, forcing him to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually he tried installing Girlfriend 2.1 as well as Girlfriend 2.2 only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to all his hardware.

Sensing a way out, he upgraded to Fiancée 1.0 only to discover to his dismay that this system requires rapid upgrading to Wife 1.0. However, whilst Wife 1.0 uses up all available resources it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus, Cleanhouse 2000 and GreatMealOnTable (Guaranteed for a limited period).

But imagine my friend’s disappointment on discovering Wife 1.0 can be unstable and costly to maintain. Any mistakes he makes are automatically stored in Wife 1.0 Hard Drive and cannot be deleted – they then resurface months (years) later. Wife 1.0 also automatically runs IltraSTROP and WHINGEzip and no option on the Help menu seems to work, leaving him to try and guess the fault himself.

The system footprint needs updating regularly requiring ShoeShop BrowserPro for new attachments and Hairstyle Express needs to be reinstalled every week.

Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can’t be turned off.

Recently he’s been tempted to try Mistress 2000 add-on, but he has been warned that there could be problems. If Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress 2000, it will delete all MS Money files before un-installing itself.
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Old Aug 17th 2005, 9:55 am
  #11  
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Default Re: I need entertaining!

You can do SuDoKu on a Norwegian site,-- combines the wonder of numbers and a language lesson!
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Old Aug 17th 2005, 1:33 pm
  #12  
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Default Re: I need entertaining!

Originally Posted by lillygirl
Am struggling with the whole work thing today and would welcome some distractions.

So if any of you are equally fed up at work please feel free to send me some amusing websites to look at, quizzes, jokes, whatever really.

And whilst I have some time on my hands, who wants some karma?? I have lots to give!
That's quite enough distractions for today LG, now get back to work...


Zannie xxx
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Old Aug 17th 2005, 3:16 pm
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Default Re: I need entertaining!

I had some K for my post.. But who the heck is Yonk! Thanks any way and if I find you I will return it.
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Old Aug 17th 2005, 9:29 pm
  #14  
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Default Re: I need entertaining!

[QUOTE=MJC]Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door.


Don't normally laugh at your jokes but thats a good one!!!!!!!!!!
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Old Aug 19th 2005, 5:00 am
  #15  
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Default Re: I need entertaining!

Originally Posted by MJC
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the level has just been raised from 'miffed' to "peeved'! Soon though, the levels may be raised yet again to "irritated' or even " a bit cross"!! Londoners have not been a "bit cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorised from "tiresome" to "a bloody nuisance", the last time a "bloody nuisance" warning level was issued was during the great fire in 1666.

Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from RUN to HIDE. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate.

The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert, The Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle east ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "attack the world" and "beg the British for help".

Finally here in GB we've gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to "make another cup of tea". Our higher levels are "remain resolutely cheerful" and "win all except the cricket"

Brilliant, sent to the other half who sent it to all the French and Germans he works with, everyone thought it was the funniest one thats done the rounds for ages (after the obligatory "english bastards" of course".
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