Coping with the emotional pain of living apart from family and making Dubai work
Jul 20th 2009, 10:54 am
#16
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 136
Re: Coping with the emotional pain of living apart from family and making Dubai work
would you....
Jul 20th 2009, 10:56 am
#18
If I have to explain...
Joined: Sep 2008
Location: Where ever the road takes me
Posts: 3,999
Jul 20th 2009, 11:00 am
#19
Account Closed
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,502
Re: Coping with the emotional pain of living apart from family and making Dubai work
6,000 pounds is not that much money. Surely you can save the money within six months, and pay off your debt and return home.
Jul 20th 2009, 11:01 am
#21
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 29,625
Re: Coping with the emotional pain of living apart from family and making Dubai work
Jul 20th 2009, 11:22 am
#24
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Joined: Nov 2008
Location: in front of my computer - in sunny Sussex!
Posts: 2,162
Re: Coping with the emotional pain of living apart from family and making Dubai work
well, we're in a similar situation, apart from without mother and sister in tow... and no debts... and without family in Dubai.
Basically, Mr Kitty is in Dubai and I am in the UK with a 22 month old and a 3 week old. The big difference is that we came to this decision together and whilst it's not ideal, it's temporary and for good reason. I (and the sprogs) will be going back out in Oct for a couple of months and then again in the new year, to take us all, albeit limping, through to April. In between time, Mr Kitty comes back every month for a few days... again, not brilliant, but better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
In conclusion, you're not alone, but for goodness' sake, don't just wallow in self-pity - there's plenty you can do:
a/ leave sister to look after mum for a bit and ship your wife and kid out for a few weeks
b/ take a break - go back and see them
c/ focus on what you are achieving.
At the end of the day, if you can't help yourself, then no-one else can help you.
Oh, and not sure about your timescale, but your absense in the first few months of your kid's life won't have any long-term effects on her upbringing. Can you remember anything about your life before you were two? I certainly can't.
Basically, Mr Kitty is in Dubai and I am in the UK with a 22 month old and a 3 week old. The big difference is that we came to this decision together and whilst it's not ideal, it's temporary and for good reason. I (and the sprogs) will be going back out in Oct for a couple of months and then again in the new year, to take us all, albeit limping, through to April. In between time, Mr Kitty comes back every month for a few days... again, not brilliant, but better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
In conclusion, you're not alone, but for goodness' sake, don't just wallow in self-pity - there's plenty you can do:
a/ leave sister to look after mum for a bit and ship your wife and kid out for a few weeks
b/ take a break - go back and see them
c/ focus on what you are achieving.
At the end of the day, if you can't help yourself, then no-one else can help you.
Oh, and not sure about your timescale, but your absense in the first few months of your kid's life won't have any long-term effects on her upbringing. Can you remember anything about your life before you were two? I certainly can't.
Jul 20th 2009, 11:33 am
#25
If I have to explain...
Joined: Sep 2008
Location: Where ever the road takes me
Posts: 3,999
Re: Coping with the emotional pain of living apart from family and making Dubai work
well, we're in a similar situation, apart from without mother and sister in tow... and no debts... and without family in Dubai.
Basically, Mr Kitty is in Dubai and I am in the UK with a 22 month old and a 3 week old. The big difference is that we came to this decision together and whilst it's not ideal, it's temporary and for good reason. I (and the sprogs) will be going back out in Oct for a couple of months and then again in the new year, to take us all, albeit limping, through to April. In between time, Mr Kitty comes back every month for a few days... again, not brilliant, but better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
In conclusion, you're not alone, but for goodness' sake, don't just wallow in self-pity - there's plenty you can do:
a/ leave sister to look after mum for a bit and ship your wife and kid out for a few weeks
b/ take a break - go back and see them
c/ focus on what you are achieving.
At the end of the day, if you can't help yourself, then no-one else can help you.
Oh, and not sure about your timescale, but your absense in the first few months of your kid's life won't have any long-term effects on her upbringing. Can you remember anything about your life before you were two? I certainly can't.
Basically, Mr Kitty is in Dubai and I am in the UK with a 22 month old and a 3 week old. The big difference is that we came to this decision together and whilst it's not ideal, it's temporary and for good reason. I (and the sprogs) will be going back out in Oct for a couple of months and then again in the new year, to take us all, albeit limping, through to April. In between time, Mr Kitty comes back every month for a few days... again, not brilliant, but better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
In conclusion, you're not alone, but for goodness' sake, don't just wallow in self-pity - there's plenty you can do:
a/ leave sister to look after mum for a bit and ship your wife and kid out for a few weeks
b/ take a break - go back and see them
c/ focus on what you are achieving.
At the end of the day, if you can't help yourself, then no-one else can help you.
Oh, and not sure about your timescale, but your absense in the first few months of your kid's life won't have any long-term effects on her upbringing. Can you remember anything about your life before you were two? I certainly can't.
It's since then I struggle with.
Jul 20th 2009, 11:50 am
#26
ex-expat
Joined: Nov 2008
Location: in front of my computer - in sunny Sussex!
Posts: 2,162
Jul 20th 2009, 3:11 pm
#27
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Joined: Jun 2009
Location: Joobuy
Posts: 304
Re: Coping with the emotional pain of living apart from family and making Dubai work
well, we're in a similar situation, apart from without mother and sister in tow... and no debts... and without family in Dubai.
Basically, Mr Kitty is in Dubai and I am in the UK with a 22 month old and a 3 week old. The big difference is that we came to this decision together and whilst it's not ideal, it's temporary and for good reason. I (and the sprogs) will be going back out in Oct for a couple of months and then again in the new year, to take us all, albeit limping, through to April. In between time, Mr Kitty comes back every month for a few days... again, not brilliant, but better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
In conclusion, you're not alone, but for goodness' sake, don't just wallow in self-pity - there's plenty you can do:
a/ leave sister to look after mum for a bit and ship your wife and kid out for a few weeks
b/ take a break - go back and see them
c/ focus on what you are achieving.
At the end of the day, if you can't help yourself, then no-one else can help you.
Oh, and not sure about your timescale, but your absense in the first few months of your kid's life won't have any long-term effects on her upbringing. Can you remember anything about your life before you were two? I certainly can't.
Basically, Mr Kitty is in Dubai and I am in the UK with a 22 month old and a 3 week old. The big difference is that we came to this decision together and whilst it's not ideal, it's temporary and for good reason. I (and the sprogs) will be going back out in Oct for a couple of months and then again in the new year, to take us all, albeit limping, through to April. In between time, Mr Kitty comes back every month for a few days... again, not brilliant, but better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
In conclusion, you're not alone, but for goodness' sake, don't just wallow in self-pity - there's plenty you can do:
a/ leave sister to look after mum for a bit and ship your wife and kid out for a few weeks
b/ take a break - go back and see them
c/ focus on what you are achieving.
At the end of the day, if you can't help yourself, then no-one else can help you.
Oh, and not sure about your timescale, but your absense in the first few months of your kid's life won't have any long-term effects on her upbringing. Can you remember anything about your life before you were two? I certainly can't.
I hate that word 'sprogs'
Everything else that you said makes sense
Jul 20th 2009, 4:36 pm
#28
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Brisbane, Qld
Posts: 285
Re: Coping with the emotional pain of living apart from family and making Dubai work
I know a few guys here without there families for various reasons - and yes I'm sure some of them are lonely. For our family it would be last choice if we had live apart.
I don't think the answer is to move your family out in the future - you need to focus on getting back.
I haven't read how you got yourself into debt - but can you not sell somethings that you don't need (watching too much cash in the attic). Can you sister get a second job? - look at you expenses - cut right back - think outside the box. take in a lodger - these are just some examples.
for the moment you are here so just get on with it - focus on your new goals.
If you look around you I'm sure you will see lots of people here without their families and I'm sure you better off than them so be thankful - there is always someone worse off than you isn't that what they always say.
Hope you are feeling a bit better
just to add I think your wife has the raw end of the deal with a young baby and a MIL!
I don't think the answer is to move your family out in the future - you need to focus on getting back.
I haven't read how you got yourself into debt - but can you not sell somethings that you don't need (watching too much cash in the attic). Can you sister get a second job? - look at you expenses - cut right back - think outside the box. take in a lodger - these are just some examples.
for the moment you are here so just get on with it - focus on your new goals.
If you look around you I'm sure you will see lots of people here without their families and I'm sure you better off than them so be thankful - there is always someone worse off than you isn't that what they always say.
Hope you are feeling a bit better
just to add I think your wife has the raw end of the deal with a young baby and a MIL!
Jul 20th 2009, 6:01 pm
#29
ex-expat
Joined: Nov 2008
Location: in front of my computer - in sunny Sussex!
Posts: 2,162
Re: Coping with the emotional pain of living apart from family and making Dubai work
"little'uns"?
ooo, actually, just looked at the verb "to sprog"... and well, I may have to reassess my vocabulary!
to sprog (third-person singular simple present sprogs, present participle sprogging, simple past and past participle sprogged)
(Australian slang) to ejaculate, to come
ooo, actually, just looked at the verb "to sprog"... and well, I may have to reassess my vocabulary!
to sprog (third-person singular simple present sprogs, present participle sprogging, simple past and past participle sprogged)
(Australian slang) to ejaculate, to come
Jul 20th 2009, 6:33 pm
#30
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Joined: Jun 2009
Location: Joobuy
Posts: 304
Re: Coping with the emotional pain of living apart from family and making Dubai work
"little'uns"?
ooo, actually, just looked at the verb "to sprog"... and well, I may have to reassess my vocabulary!
to sprog (third-person singular simple present sprogs, present participle sprogging, simple past and past participle sprogged)
(Australian slang) to ejaculate, to come
ooo, actually, just looked at the verb "to sprog"... and well, I may have to reassess my vocabulary!
to sprog (third-person singular simple present sprogs, present participle sprogging, simple past and past participle sprogged)
(Australian slang) to ejaculate, to come
LOL
I (innocently) used the word 'snaffling' thinking it meant thievery. When I looked it up was shocked.
Shame, cos I liked the word and used it often in conversation.
Last edited by Timmy Molloy - London Boy; Jul 20th 2009 at 6:35 pm.