Should I get a pre-nup?
Dec 18th 2003, 2:37 am
#46
The Survivors!!
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: USA & CANADA
Posts: 322
Re: Should I get a pre-nup?
LOL!!
Statistics, statistics! I once read that most accidents happen in the
home. So I re-located
home. So I re-located
Dec 18th 2003, 2:02 pm
#47
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 126
Re: Should I get a pre-nup?
Originally posted by MrsLondon
Interesting. So you could buy a house, pay the mortgage 20 years and have only 5 years left to pay, get married, the spouse moves in, after one day you row, they walk out, it turns nasty. Next thing you know you have to give 'em half your house? Fun!
Interesting. So you could buy a house, pay the mortgage 20 years and have only 5 years left to pay, get married, the spouse moves in, after one day you row, they walk out, it turns nasty. Next thing you know you have to give 'em half your house? Fun!
Yep, pretty much... as the house that a couple shares as their primary dwelling becomes "their" house. But that is only one spin on the law that you just described. You can look at it other ways too... the law is there to protect people in families that don't work (i.e. homemakers).
Dec 18th 2003, 4:00 pm
#48
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Should I get a pre-nup?
Here is a different side.
In my first marriage, we did not have a pre-nup agreement. When I
left everything was amicably split, child support was paid and paid on
time. I did not ask for anything more.
Despite me having lived the single parent life for X amount of years
and working, four of us (3 kids and myself)I still was not able to be
a home owner, have a great amount of savings or even have investments.
I then meet husband #2 who has a great job, his own home, etc. He did
not have any children. When his ex left him she pulled a real number
on him. True he was only to blame himself for allowing her to get
away with what she did but in his own mind he wanted to get rid of her
once and for all. (Long story but I understand where he was coming
from). He ended up with a fair amount of debt but he made me well
aware of it before I immigrated. Paid her off for her share of the
home and his pension despite that in the 22 years of marriage and her
working all the time, she did not contribute one dime to the
household. She spent it all on herself - high maintenence. She
literally wiped out the home of furniture as well. During marriage she
charged up credit cards like crazy.
I'm a SAHM (no job as of yet)and #2 husband provides for both me and
my son. My son's father is fiancially unable to look after himself so
there is no support for my son in that regard. We had the big talk of
what would happen should (a) if he were to pass on before me say even
if it were a year or so from now or (b) our marriage did work out. On
his part he said that the house would be left (in case of death) to me
however if anything were to happen to me as well, he asked that all
the assets be divided up amongst 5 people - his 2 nieces and my 3
kids. I certainly can promise that. He then asked about divorce -
how I would like to see it handled. I told him I certainly wouldn't
be out to get him for all he was worth. In fact if I did not have a
job here in this country, I only asked that he guarantee a way back
for my son and I to Canada and helped us get back on our feet - just
some financial help until I got a job there. Ok we've been
procrastinating on this but we will be getting some kind of will drawn
up on it all.
My first husband was an evil man (he's not the father of my son btw)
but I did not go after him for all he was worth when he left. It's
just not my style. Second husband is a decent man, he made sure his
ex was well taken care of and then some despite her evil ways. He is
not vindictive and evil. He told me he would take care of me and my
son no matter what and you know what? I believe he will. We also live
in community property state.
Like I mentioned above...just a different story.
In my first marriage, we did not have a pre-nup agreement. When I
left everything was amicably split, child support was paid and paid on
time. I did not ask for anything more.
Despite me having lived the single parent life for X amount of years
and working, four of us (3 kids and myself)I still was not able to be
a home owner, have a great amount of savings or even have investments.
I then meet husband #2 who has a great job, his own home, etc. He did
not have any children. When his ex left him she pulled a real number
on him. True he was only to blame himself for allowing her to get
away with what she did but in his own mind he wanted to get rid of her
once and for all. (Long story but I understand where he was coming
from). He ended up with a fair amount of debt but he made me well
aware of it before I immigrated. Paid her off for her share of the
home and his pension despite that in the 22 years of marriage and her
working all the time, she did not contribute one dime to the
household. She spent it all on herself - high maintenence. She
literally wiped out the home of furniture as well. During marriage she
charged up credit cards like crazy.
I'm a SAHM (no job as of yet)and #2 husband provides for both me and
my son. My son's father is fiancially unable to look after himself so
there is no support for my son in that regard. We had the big talk of
what would happen should (a) if he were to pass on before me say even
if it were a year or so from now or (b) our marriage did work out. On
his part he said that the house would be left (in case of death) to me
however if anything were to happen to me as well, he asked that all
the assets be divided up amongst 5 people - his 2 nieces and my 3
kids. I certainly can promise that. He then asked about divorce -
how I would like to see it handled. I told him I certainly wouldn't
be out to get him for all he was worth. In fact if I did not have a
job here in this country, I only asked that he guarantee a way back
for my son and I to Canada and helped us get back on our feet - just
some financial help until I got a job there. Ok we've been
procrastinating on this but we will be getting some kind of will drawn
up on it all.
My first husband was an evil man (he's not the father of my son btw)
but I did not go after him for all he was worth when he left. It's
just not my style. Second husband is a decent man, he made sure his
ex was well taken care of and then some despite her evil ways. He is
not vindictive and evil. He told me he would take care of me and my
son no matter what and you know what? I believe he will. We also live
in community property state.
Like I mentioned above...just a different story.
Dec 18th 2003, 6:40 pm
#49
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Should I get a pre-nup?
An added comment to my last post. I remember working with a woman who
when she got married to her husband (both 2nd marriages) and he had
his own home before he met her, she was not allowed to decorate in the
house because as he put it, it was "his house". My BIL's 2 previous
marriages did not work out because he insisted that his wives pay 1/2
of everything despite the fact that they made considerably less than
he did but then again his idea of also having a good date is to have a
woman come to his house, cook for him and they sit in front of the tv
for the rest of the night.
I kept referring to the house we all live in as "his house" until he
started getting upset with me and saying it wasn't "his house", it was
"our house". I asked him (stupid me with dumb questions) of why it
wouldn't be considered his house only because he had the home long
before he met me, he worked for it and me not having a job he's paying
the mortgage, etc on it. He said that we were married, he loved me
very much and everything he had before is now "ours" no matter what.
when she got married to her husband (both 2nd marriages) and he had
his own home before he met her, she was not allowed to decorate in the
house because as he put it, it was "his house". My BIL's 2 previous
marriages did not work out because he insisted that his wives pay 1/2
of everything despite the fact that they made considerably less than
he did but then again his idea of also having a good date is to have a
woman come to his house, cook for him and they sit in front of the tv
for the rest of the night.
I kept referring to the house we all live in as "his house" until he
started getting upset with me and saying it wasn't "his house", it was
"our house". I asked him (stupid me with dumb questions) of why it
wouldn't be considered his house only because he had the home long
before he met me, he worked for it and me not having a job he's paying
the mortgage, etc on it. He said that we were married, he loved me
very much and everything he had before is now "ours" no matter what.
Dec 19th 2003, 3:53 am
#50
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Should I get a pre-nup?
majken wrote:
>
> Our prenup basically states that whatever wealth/property accumulated
> prior to marriage belongs to the spouse who owned it. It can also
> protect the wealthier spouse in case of a divorce; for example, whatever
> my husband earns from his practice belongs to him.
I understand the part about previous assets, but currrent income, at
least, should be shared..
We also stipulated
> that there is no alimony in case of a divorce (that applies to both of
> us). On the other hand, I am protected from my husband's business
> debts.
If was a problem, then maybe he should learn how to incorporate to
protect family assets from business losses.
If we never get a divorce, the prenup is moot, and the will
> supersedes the prenup.
Unless he changes the will.......
>
> Our prenup basically states that whatever wealth/property accumulated
> prior to marriage belongs to the spouse who owned it. It can also
> protect the wealthier spouse in case of a divorce; for example, whatever
> my husband earns from his practice belongs to him.
I understand the part about previous assets, but currrent income, at
least, should be shared..
We also stipulated
> that there is no alimony in case of a divorce (that applies to both of
> us). On the other hand, I am protected from my husband's business
> debts.
If was a problem, then maybe he should learn how to incorporate to
protect family assets from business losses.
If we never get a divorce, the prenup is moot, and the will
> supersedes the prenup.
Unless he changes the will.......
