Steffi

I agree that there is nothing wrong with pre-nups. Several people have adivsed me to do this before getting married, but since I just gratuated from University I don't think I own enough to even make it worthy. *L*
As others have already advised, talk to your fiance and an attorney if you're that worried about it.

jeffreyhy

Tim referred to only one specific story he'd heard, but he did say that he'd heard many. I am sure he has. As one who is married to a Thai woman and participates in a number of Thai-related boards and discussion groups, I can assure you that Tim has heard little but horror stories of western men who have naively hooked up with a Thai woman and have come to regret it. (We won't get into judgements about whether or not they deserved it, or were too foolish or too stupid to see what should have been obvious.)

I'm sure that Tim's quandry is not that he doesn't trust his fiancee, but that he's in a world (outside of this newsgroup) where everyone is telling him that he's crazy if he does trust her.

I believe you. But I also believe that your experience, and the experience of most of the others who are focusing in on this trust issue, does not include what Tim is experiencing. That's why I referred Tim to a newsgroup where he can get a balanced point of view on the situation he finds himself in.

Regards, JEff

Leslie

JEff,

I beg to differ. That sounds like more than one story.

I defer to your wisdom on the rest of situation.

Really, it's hard to answer a question like this for a stranger. We don't know her (or him for that matter). We don't know how much money/assets he may or may not have. It is an interesting discussion though.

Leslie

jeffreyhy

Leslie,

I wrote, "Tim referred to only one specific story he'd heard, but he did say that he'd heard many. " His one specific reference was to a post by 'phillepina' (I may have spelled that wrong.

I agree that it's tough, actually I would say impossible, to answer a question like this. The discussion is interesting, especially interesting (to me) to see how different people focus in on different aspects.

Regards, JEff

Englishmum

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Tim Martin
Just wondering......

About 2 weeks ago, we hit a bump in our relationship. Long story, but I
have walked away from other relationships for less. Anyway, all the stories
that I have heard has put some doubt in my mind



I lived in South East Asia for a few years and all I can say to any 'farang' (Westerner) is to be aware - and be alert. I think that since you're living in Las Vegas you might find the atmosphere there to be very exciting and enticing for your fiancee. How did you meet her?

Check out the Reader's testimonies on this well-known website set up by an expat who lives in Bangkok. There are dozens of them and there are some which have been posted this month. If by any chance any of the accounts are similar to how you met your fiancee then you will be able to see how those relationships fared:

http://www.stickmanbangkok.com

Michael D. Young

Leslie66 wrote:

    > Originally posted by Tim Martin
    > > Just wondering......
    > > Has anyone had experience with a pre-nuptual? Am I entering into
    > > this with the wrong attitude? Any advice and/or opinions would be
    > > appreciated.
    > >
    > > Thanx,
    > > Tim
    > I have no experience with pre-nuptial agreements. I am curious as to
    > why you would want to marry someone you obviously do not trust.

ditto

Michael

"tim martin" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected] link.net>...
    > Just wondering......
    >
    > I am contemplating having a pre-nuptual drawn up in English and Thai. Has
    > anyone had experience with a pre-nuptual? Am I entering into this with the
    > wrong attitude? Any advice and/or opinions would be appreciated.
    >
    > Thanx,
    > Tim

Tim;

Any man in America that does not do a pre nup is insane. This applies
to American women also but it is especially true of foreigners. My
foreign ex wife made off with every dime I had and I ended up $50,000
in debt because of her. Get a prenup and get it done right with a
good lawyer. Include a clause in there where she must pay you $25,000
in case of divorce. See how much she loves you then.

majken

My husband and I have a prenup. Intellectually, I agreed that it was a good idea. Emotionally (I'm the foreign spouse) it took me a while to warm up to it.

Our prenup basically states that whatever wealth/property accumulated prior to marriage belongs to the spouse who owned it. It can also protect the wealthier spouse in case of a divorce; for example, whatever my husband earns from his practice belongs to him. We also stipulated that there is no alimony in case of a divorce (that applies to both of us). On the other hand, I am protected from my husband's business debts. If we never get a divorce, the prenup is moot, and the will supersedes the prenup.

The most difficult part is probably convincing your bride that it is a good idea. It's hard to contemplate what happens in case of a divorce when you haven't even married yet, especially to women (it's supposed to be romantic, and prenups aren't).

What a friend of mine did, after his bride blew up when he brought up the topic, was register his house in his own name (he was still paying mortgage - and I'm not sure what he did to "register" it). If you keep all the properties accumulated before you marry under your name, I think it should be all right. The problem we can see with what he did is that if he sells his house (after the wedding) then buys a new one, then the new house becomes community property. I think it gets pretty complicated from there. Some of the lawyers here should be able to explain it better.

P.S. By the way, the correct spelling is "Filipina".

ScottHenshaw

Micheal,

Sound like you got taken for a ride and are pretty bitter over it. Perhaps you would be better suited to find a relationship at an hourly rate versus trying to find a relationship based on love, trust, unity and repspect for one another. Not sure how many dimes you had, but that 50k would have probly went a long way...

Michael

ScottHenshaw <member9290@british_expats.com> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
    > Micheal,
    >
    >
    >
    > Sound like you got taken for a ride and are pretty bitter over it.
    > Perhaps you would be better suited to find a relationship at an hourly
    > rate versus trying to find a relationship based on love, trust, unity
    > and repspect for one another. Not sure how many dimes you had, but that
    > 50k would have probly went a long way...

Don't analyze me putz for brains. Trust but Verify- Ronald Reagan

Dekka's Angel

Let's not be a sexist pig, shall we? (I realize that will be a change in approach for you, but try, OK?)

*Anyone* with pre-existing assets which they need/want preserved for any purpose in the event of a divorce needs a pre-nuptial agreement. This has nothing to do with love and anyone who believes that it does is either not aware of the realities of marriage the world over these days (let's not be anti-foreigner either -- the US still has one of the *highest* divorce rates in the world despite marriages being solemnized between US citizens) or being deliberately naive.

To ensure it is done correctly, a lawyer is a good idea.

This nonsense about a payment for divorce is just that...nonsense. If the goal is to protect your assets, the goal is to protect your assets. If a spouse could show that they could not get out of a marriage without the stated "penalty" for divorce which bears no relationship to marital assets, the provision would be likely voided as against public policy.

MrsLondon

You could say you've decided to go and live in Thailand and see how she reacts!
(That was a joke, btw )

Leslie

Sounds like you got what you deserved.

ScottHenshaw

Not sure if he is saying:


"Don't analyze my putz for brains" as if he is using the word, "Putz" to describe some sort of internal stupidity.


or

"Don't analyze my putz, I have brains" . Some sort of golfing statement? "Don't tell me how to hit the ball, I have brains".... ?

or

"Don't analyze me. I have putz for brains". Couldn't you just imagine him standing at a urinal talking to someone next to him taking a leak? "My putz is bigger than yours"...

Needless to say, what ever book of quotes from great world leaders he is using to help him sound like he has some sort of modicum on intelligence does not seem to be helping him with some simple grammar or the ability to express his point. Perhaps after getting screwed over for 50k he was left with nothing but putz…


Scott "Putz' Henshaw

blenky16

In my mind, this is what is wrong with marriage today. The stats say it... 50% end in divorce... no one willing to stick it out and work on things... everyone wanting to prepare for the divorce before they even get into the marriage. I understand the idea of a pre-nup, and I am not going to say it is wrong, but at the same time, there has got to be a reason that everyone is so willingly and easily getting divorces these days.

Controversial thought? Likely!