soon_to_Move

We've been here 4 months and I'm finding it difficult. I've made an effort since being here and made a couple of friends but i'm not very happy. I thought things would improve once I got the work authorisation through and could get a job (i'm an L2) but now I have it and spent the last 4 weeks looking and applying I am not getting anywhere. My old job in the UK is advertised and I want to see if i can get it back.

My husband travels alot so I feel like I am stuck here alone alot of the time and the travelling is only set to get worse. I don't want to leave him but I can't carry on feeling so hopeless.

Has anyone exeperince of one partner staying in the US and the other in the UK?

CitySimon

My sympathies regarding your situation. It can't be easy having moved to another country to be with your loved one and for them to not be there with you when you arrive.

I could not begin to imagine how difficult it must be in such a position.

However, does he know that you are feeling this way? Is it anything which you could talk to him about?

Jerseygirl

It may have been best to put this in the MBTTUK forum. Take a look in there and read back through the old threads...you will see plenty of people have experienced what you are going through.

lisa67

I feel so sorry for you. When I moved here (8 years ago) I felt so alone and bored ! Luckily I had my kids to keep me going but it was at least a year, maybe 18months before I felt that I was beginning to fit in. Now we've just moved to a different state and it's been 4 months and I'm just beginning to feel settled.
I have had several friends who have tried to have long distance relationships and they've always ended in a break up...don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but think really really carefully about this (as I'm sure you are)
Hope I could sound more positive for you. What does your OH think about all of this...how often would you be able to see him if you went back to the UK.
Perhaps write out the pros. and cons. ...it might help ?
Sending you hugs.

TruBrit

yep it's not unheard of infact i know of someone who does just that, he works back in the uk and she's over here.... you just have to make the decision that works for you both.

TruBrit

yep you're right, there's loads on BE about this very subject.

CitySimon

I think that, depending on their own experiences, most people on here will tell you how hard the first couple of months can be following the move.

However, it usually gets better. Whether you stick it out is up to both of you.

TruBrit

6yrs and still counting

ugacrew

I would say that quiting the job hunt after 4 weeks is very premature. I'd say stick it around until you find a job. If after a couple months at i you're still miserable then start planning on relocating back. Four weeks to me is very short time especially in a job market where it's not what you know, it's who you know. Have you tried using the service LinkedIN, Monster, CareerBuilder, HotJobs, or Craigslist in your search? If so, keep using them. I've been unemployed myself and it's taken some time between jobs to find something substantial. I'd say the shortest amount of time I've had was 2 months time. During that time I'd find ways to add on to my skill set such as getting industry related certifications to make my CV look much better. Also, have you gotten assistance with converting your CV to an American style resume? A job can make all the difference in the world. It does to me when I have one. It give me such a lease on life. Don't give up just yet. Persistence, pursuit, and patience are the orders of the day.

Emma M

Tell me about it. I think it is just the change in situation and moving is a HUGE thing to adapt to. Same situation as far as well unhappy, but without my GC. Cannot work yet. Been here nearly 7 months and have yet to get used to it. Don't feel even slightly settled. Made no friends, know no one apart from my hubby, bored out of my friggin mind most days.

lisa67

Don't want to sound too harsh here, but life's what you make it. I know how frustrating it can be, but you have to get out and join groups, get used to being by yourself and look forward to when you an spend time with your OH by planning trips/evenings out. I found that if I could get out of the house once a day at least then it helped me.
Just try and be thankful for what you *do* have...I know this is easier said than done.

TruBrit

that is very true and that is exactly what i do

chicagojlo

I understand that it can seem weird to have got nowhere in the job search after 4 weeks, where I lived before I could get a new job in my lunchhour and I actually did just that, twice. It took me the best part of 3 months to just get hired as a temp here but I'm actually temping at one of my old employers and loving it so the wait was worth it.

Dan725

I'd say that 4 months is no time at all, as is getting nowhere after 4 weeks of looking for a job in a generally crappy economic situation.

I'd say stick it out for longer; you've not given it a chance yet.

soon_to_Move

Thanks all for your replies.

My husband knows how I feel about being out of work, although he doesn't know I am considering going back to the UK but to be honest I only have these thoughts because of feeling so hopless with the job situation. If I was working then it wouldn't matter so much that he was travelling.

I will keep at the job hunting, you guys are right, 4 weeks of looking is nothing and I am lucky that I am authorised to work I know some spouse's cannot.

So thanks again, I will try to be more positive.