scrubbedexpat099

Last option would be for her to continue her studies - F1.

Noorah101

It wasn't haste, it is the law. That is how much one needs in assets in order to sponsor a spouse. I correctly assumed that you don't have it, but if you had it and I didn't mention it, you wouldn't have known that.

That's twice you've said "unconventional". The marriage won't be unconventional, it can be as plain and simple or as fancy as you want (or is feasibly possible). Your family can fly over to be part of it. You don't want to move until 2020 so you have time to plan a conventional wedding.

The way to explain it to them is that it's not for a green card, but so that you can continue to live together on one continent. As you said, they are ok with you living together, and they accept that. For immigration, the way to continue living together in the USA is to get married.

Rene

Noorah101

For the record, I will just add that if you don't feel ready for marriage, there is nothing wrong with having a long distance relationship until such time that you are ready for marriage. And I don't just mean feeling in love, I mean having the stability and money in the USA to start a life together that doesn't involve the stress of being so far in debt, having to finish school, not having a job, etc.

Relationships do survive years of living apart, and can even make the relationship stronger.

Just putting it out there as another option forward.

Rene

civilservant

Frankly, you aren't acting in any way mature enough to consider the long term consequences of marriage. You can't even answer a few questions without snapping like a teenager.

I would strongly suggest canning the idea until you are both out of school. You can LDR until then. A good percentage of us have done this, and delaying gratification is one of the hallmarks of a well rounded adult. It doesn't have to be now just because you want it to be, from the looks of things, it seems to make little actual sense other than 'that's how I want it'

The reason your parents probably would not look too proudly on a student getting married is because you haven't even stabilized your own life yet as a young adult, let alone taking on another and trying to both do it at the same time. Right now they are going to be on the hook for 2 people if things go pear-shaped. You need to get out into the world and figure out your path. If in 2 years of LDR you both feel the same way, then go for it.

I personally endured 3 years of LDR. It happens. It can work.

And they would be right, right? The fact is, if you were able to remain in the UK you would not be getting married right now.

KK85

Perhaps another way to look at it is that, under the circumstances, this wouldn't be an unconventional marriage. I can only speak for myself (although lots of others on this forum have moved to the US for a spouse, and therefore perhaps gone through similar thought processes), but my husband and I might never have chosen to marry were it not for the fact that we had to get married if we wanted to live together. I don't think I was ever the marrying type until I met him! (Perhaps that says more about him than it does about me.) Like you and your girlfriend, I (UK citizen) was a student for the duration of mine and my husband's long-distance relationship, and that did make things difficult financially, so I understand the pressure there; for us, it made sense for me to finish my education, work a lot, and then move. We timed our wedding around my studies and started the immigration process while I was in my final year at university, and I made it here just fine - I was comparatively lucky in that my husband was able to act as my sponsor.

Perhaps your parents might be able to understand this better if they knew the logistics of a long-distance relationship, and were aware that getting married is the only possible way for you and your girlfriend to live together, whenever that might happen. I don't think it is fair for any of us here to us to make assumptions on your readiness to marry, but that is of course worth bearing in mind yourself. You really do have to make big investments when you're in a relationship like this. If/when you do feel ready, perhaps have a candid conversation with your parents, explain to them the reason you're considering marriage, and maybe they will surprise you?

civilservant

22 versus 32.... a world of difference.

tom169

Did 5 years of LDR as the wife was in college.
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My advice would be graduate, move back to USA and settle down with an apartment and a job, then figure out the visa situation.

If at that point you still want to get married then pursue whichever of the family based visas. And if either parents disagree with your marriage at that point... Well, they don't need to be invited.

KK85

Very true. I shudder to think what my life would be now had I married any of the boys I knew at 22. They were fine people, but I was a different human and imagined very different things for my future back then - such is life! But that being said, I know a small handful of wonderful, strong, healthy couples, of varying ages and backgrounds, who have been together since they were 15 years old, so who are we to judge, y'know?

Guindalf

For the record, NO-ONE is suggesting you use marriage as a method of immigrating. In fact, that's not only against site rules, it's also immoral, not to mention illegal!

The marriage option is the easiest way to immigrate, but ONLY if the relationship is going there anyway. IMO, 22 is not too young to get married if you are committed to each other and every person/couple is different. For me, I was 39 when I got married (for the first and only time), but that's just me. Bottom line, talk it through together before making any decisions. There is no such thing as a trial marriage.

If you do decide that marriage is what you both want, then decide where, when and how big. It can be here or, if you prefer, in the UK, but the latter involves a little more time and paperwork. Both can be as plain or as lavish as you wish and as conventional or unconventional as you want.

TheKingOfHearts

I believe any US citizen can act as a financial sponsor, although I could be wrong.

Thus, if you have siblings and/or close friends who would meet the financial requirements AND be willing to make themselves legally liable, that may be an option.

Noorah101

Yes, any USC or US PR, living in the USA.

Rene

teza