sibsie

Off at a tangent here. But it's also the only religion that recognises all other religions as valid and acknowledges Jesus as a prophet. (Learnt that at my Catholic convent school

Carry on as you were.

Leslie

I believe in soulmates, but not necessarily always in the romantic sense. Your children (or grandchildren) can be and often are your soulmate. I also don't think you are limited to just one soulmate. So none of those arguments hold water for me either.

I also believe that a true soulmate will wait and not stop being your soulmate because of some delays in time. Much like children, grandchildren, real friends, mothers and fathers.

Seham

wow, you guys are wearing me out. I will be back. I haven't finished yet. by the way, how do you get the smilies?

Leslie

I know, Sibs. I could really go into a deep lecture here, but I won't.

To the OP, I am not Muslim but my husband is, he is also Moroccan. I am interested in your situation, and I despise ignorance and racism. However, hands down, your blood relations come first and foremost each and every time. The Moroccans I know (and I know a LOT), would agree with this without fail.

Rete

I'm sorry but I have a problem with you continually saying the state's decision is based on Racism? You have no proof of that. Not really. You may have a gut reaction to their proclamation of not accepting him as a further stepfather and/or guardian of your grandson but they didn't, as far as you have said, out and out said that denial would be based on his nationality and/or religion.

While I'm fully cognizant of racial bigotry in the world (not just this country), I don't believe the state would place itself in a position where a lawsuit of such a magnitude could be brought against it for racial discrimination.

I don't know your age, the circumstances of why you have custody of your grandson, your religious affiliation at this time, or your living conditions. All these factors will play into the decision making process for the department of child welfare and the family court when deciding on guardianship.

Again, I wish you luck with your quest and hope that you find an avenue that will allow you to enjoy the love of both these people in your life for all your remaining days.

Rete

Seham

You guys, please don't take me wrong. I love my grandchild very much and I would never give him up, I just don't believe I should also have to give up my Fiance just because of their lack of knowledge and Racism.

My Fiance is being very patient and is very understanding. It is me that has waited for so long and has sacrificed all of my life that is the impatient one.

Thanks for not judging me!

Seham

Thanks Rete, yes, it does have to do with racism. The CASA caseworker labeled him as a TERRORIST before even asking me any questions about him. They told me there is no way for them to check his background, but I know this is not so.

My financial situation is stable. I have a good and honorable career and I am Catholic.

Seham

Oh, and I do own my own home. Sorry, it is dinner time here and I am also fixing my grandson something to eat as we are discussing.

Mrraveltay

Seham wrote:

    > I really need any advice that is out there, Please. I am so hurt and so
    > torn that I just don't know what to do.
    >
    > I have raised my grandchild since he was just a baby. I have had custody
    > of him for over a year and a half now under SRS. The courts are telling
    > me that if I bring my Foreign Fiance over then I will not be allowed to
    > adopt my grandson or get Legal Permanent Guardianship because then they
    > would not be able to do a back ground check for security on my Fiance
    > since he is from another country.

NONSENSE.

What do you mean "the courts"? A judge, a receptionist? Who?
What does your attorney say?

Seham

Hi Mrraveltay,

It is the Assistant District County Attorney and a CASA worker in which has been coming into my home for over a year and a half now. The CASA worker is the one that called my Fiance a Terrorist before even asking me any questions about him, took it to the District County Attorney and they are the ones that made the decision. My lawyer is not supporting me at all. The letter that is written in my first post is from my Lawyer, word for word.

Thanks for enquiring!

Seham

Mrraveltay

Seham wrote:
    > It is the Assistant District County Attorney and a CASA worker in which
    > has been coming into my home for over a year and a half now. The CASA
    > worker is the one that called my Fiance a Terrorist before even asking
    > me any questions about him, took it to the District County Attorney and
    > they are the ones that made the decision. My lawyer is not supporting
    > me at all. The letter that is written in my first post is from my
    > Lawyer, word for word.
    >

You might need a different lawyer, but I would not change lawyers just
because the one you have isn't sugar coating the likely outcome.
Also, if you have evidence of prejudidce already, then that is why we
have judges to make decisions. To me, this is ample reason to have
another worker assigned.
Sorry, can't really help. This is a legal problem and it sounds like a
legal battle that requires a good lawyer. They think they are doing the
best thing for the child, and they might be. However, if the US
government Dept of State or Homeland Security has validated his criminal
record, this should be good enough for them.

Leslie

Hi Seham,

I've read this thread over again and I think you should consider contacting a U.S. Muslim watch-dog group. Do a search, or if anybody on the forum knows how to contact any of them, perhaps they'll post it here. These are groups that were formed after 9-11 specifically to track abuses and mistreatment directed at Muslims. I realize that you are not Muslim, but I still think it could apply. If everything you are saying is correct then perhaps you could use the assistance of one of these groups.

Good luck,

Leslie

SanBernardino

I would agree with Leslie. If the regional Muslim association also feels that your case is a genuine case of discrimination, then perhaps they will be willing to assist you with the attorney fees or provide secondary counsel / consultation with their attorney. I am very sympathetic to your problem, but also somewhat agree with Rete about not jumping to conclusions. If they have called your fiance a terrorist based solely on his religion and origins, then that is discriminatory, but that does not mean that they are not following correct procedure. Think about it from their perspecitive -- they have to document that they thoroughly investigated the situation and did what was in the best interests of the child. I understand your reluctance to think about their perspective after such comments, but their may be a little validity to it. Nonetheless, given their expressed attitude, you should avail yourself of better counsel and let them know you are serious and will not accept being discriminated against. Then perhaps, you will be able to get better information about what you have to do. Best of luck.

meauxna

Seham, I'm now curious. Did the CASA worker say "your fiance is a terrorist." ?

Seham

Thank you both for your opinions and suggestions. Leslie, thank you for the information about the Muslim group. I will be sure to check into it.

This last court date, I was supposedly suppose to get Adoption Rights for my grandson, the CASA worker and the SRS case worker were also thinking the same, even though it was the CASA worker that told me he was a TERRORIST and wouldn't even listen to what I had to say to her about him. She knew nothing of this man. She is the one that brought it up to the Assistant County Attorney. I have given them his name, phone number, address and whatever else I could give them so that they could contact him, but they have not. Right after court, when I realized they were not giving me Adoption Rights, I called the District County Attorney over to ask her why. Actually it was the SRS worker that asked her when I would be able to get Adoption Rights.

NOW PLEASE, hear me out. This is exactly what was said. She said, "I'm not." I asked her why. She said, "She was not going to discuss it with me," and started walking away. Now all of this was done in front of the judge. I said, "What do you mean you are not going to discuss it with me? This is my Grandchild. I have a right to know." She kept walking away and I said "I demand to know why you are refusing me Adoption Rights!!!" she told me she would discuss it with me in the other room.......................cont.