Mmm. First job was working on a building site when I was 16 I think.

Basically the new building needed to look similar to the original building because of the planning permission, so it was knocked down and then it was left to me to rummage through the rubble looking for salvageable face bricks as they were seriously expensive to replace stonemason cut type things. Then I got put on a job at a new rec centre, can't even remember where it was now (that's a bit alarming) but I remember getting into an argument with the site agent because he couldn't do basic arithmetic.

The foundation had a step in it, so he took the maximum area by the maximum depth and ordered enough concrete to fill that, where of course I took the step into account and told him he'd ordered way too much concrete. And I was consequently proven right. You see even back then I was a grumpy know-it-all.

Nor I. Whilst still in full time education, any money earned should (in my way of thinking) be in lieu of pocket money (high school, not Uni).

Once you have left school and you are working full time then yes, you should contribute something.

An aquaintance of mine insisted on 'keep' from their adult working kids, put it into an account and then gave it back to them when they bought their first houses. The parents didn't need the money but wanted to teach some responsibility to their kids, a win-win situation.

Conversely, I have another friend who not only pays for her sons uni fees, but also his rent, food and other costs including his cell phone plan. She goes over twice a week to collect his laundry, picks him up / runs him around / drives him to his part time job during vacation time. He's 19.

I've tried to talk to her about it, suggesting that it's time he started paying his own way, buying his own food, getting cabs as necessary and doing his own laundry (my son was doing his from the age of 14, including ironing) but it falls on deaf ears. He works during Uni holidays, earning good money which he spends on whatever he chooses (but not rent, food, clothing, books, personal necessities or taxis).



Talking of pocket money - I used to get 3d a week which went up to 6d when I was 7 and then to 2s 6d at 10. At 11 I helped out at home (extra chores on top of normal ones) in return for riding lessons being paid for (7s 6d a week) then at 12 I worked at the stables during the summer and on weekends in return for free riding. At 13 I got 10s a week (50p) - woohoo! I used to make a lot of my clothes - or alter them if purchased by my Dad. Once I got to 15/16 I was working, so then started contributing to the household and was expected to purchase all my necessities other than food/shelter.

So, not an advisor to a government minister then?

Woolworth stuck me on the pots and pans counter coming up to Christmas. One where they also sold roast pams

So I was rushed off my feet with women asking me which roast pan was best for what size turkey & selling whatever to them. Thing was I'd never seen a roast turkey so didn't know they were somewhat bigger than a roasted chicken.

I was rushed off my feet the following Saturday as most all of the undersized pans came back to me to be exchanged.

Nice one.

Did your Woolies sell salted peanuts warmed under a lamp?

Siouxie @ post #62, different strokes for different folks, I get so wound up with these sort of things, especially when its close to home

My older sister aged 81 in the UK has two kids. Her Daughter born 1961 was married at 18, moved out to live with her husband, they had two children, so no further burden on my sister & her husband, so we all thought, right up until the daughters separation, then divorce. From 2001 my sister has been paying her daughters utilities & property tax for the reason the ex is a deadbeat dad.

The daughters eldest is on his own , no issues. The second child (my sisters grandson) has to be the worse free loader on this planet & should get the 'free loader award' if there was one.

My sisters second child (a boy) born 1969 has free loaded in every way till this day.

He was in & out of her house till he was mid 30's before he found a permanent other place to live. All through that period from leaving school till he finally left home, he never paid a single penny for anything. His parents all through the years have bailed him out, took out several loans over a course of 20 odd years for him - its a never ending story

Her son now 47 is married, has his own contracting business, his wife has her own successful business also, they own their own detached house, other than company vehicles they each have their own newish high end autos - but you know what... my sister a widow now 81, with bad RA still to this day does his personal laundry, that includes all of his 'dirty grimy' work clothes in her basic washer/dryer, makes sure he sees her daily so she can cook for him & to take food home - all of which she pays for from her state pension & AA

For the past 4 years my sisters grandson aged 25 (son of the daughter) has been living free with my sister. Lad is working, makes zero contribution, my sister does the lot, buys & cooks the food, pays for the utilities, internet the lad uses & lastly does the grandsons laundry. Irresponsible & dis-respective lad gives her lots of guff & she just takes it

Add to this, this same grandson that lives with her also gets monetary hand-outs, on the never never 'just borrowing' will pay you back never.

Why would anyone keep on doing this?

.

Jeez. That is really taking the urine!

We've been supporting our son (stepson) for several years. Fair enough. He's now making a bit of money. He knew his mum fancied having a little convertible car for the summer. He blew his spare dosh on buying her one. It's old and needs a bit of TLC (all of which he knows how to do). I'm talking mainly about the car, here.

It's the thought that counts.

That conclusion is a bit of a leap.

What's wrong with contributing to the family instead of just taking ?

How many Brit expats living in Canada or the US take room & board or a contribution from their teenager or adult child live-in's?

How many do the 'pay for everything' till the children finally leave home?

Can you ever say 'no' when your child does the 'I need & want', or 'well we can pay for it' (select from) for their toys, gadgets, cars, post secondary education, travel expenses, holidays?

When does the gravy train stop - is it an a certain age, or when they leave home, possibly never?

I left home at 18...my parents never gave me a penny...they couldn't afford to. Same with my husband.

We would rather spend some of our money on our daughter (and our 2 year old granddaughter) now...so we can see her enjoying it...than when we are gone. Money spent on a family holiday...is money well spent in my book.

No from the part time job while in school, yes from the job having left school.

I don't disagree with doing this as it treats but I do think it is ridiculous when parents pay their child's rent, phone bills, car insurance/repayments etc.


There is a difference between treating your children and letting them free-load off of you


My mother deposits small amounts of money in my UK bank account at certain times of the year or if she comes into money. She asked me if I wanted money for when I renewed her cost-co membership (as she is on my account) and I said no as she sends me out parcels at an expense of $30 a time as well as treats me to meals when I am in the UK and little odds and ends she has picked up at Boots, Debenhams or wherever she has been bargin hunting. I have never asked my mother to pay for anything including flights, rent. If I struggle I probably still would not ask her for money.

Well, maybe too tough old buggers as parents we are - who knows, that comes from our own upbringing

When our kids started working PT while still in school, we made sure they contributed to their room & board. It continued through post secondary education (which they paid their own way through) up until they finally left home - he at 24, she at 23