Like it ends there!

You are right.

There are more ways than money to care for children. If you earn money then a proportion should go to the houshold. It may only be a few dollars but It's better than just taking all the time.

I agree Gozit. It sounds like you would also agree that sending small boys up chimneys is socially acceptable.

There may be some people who are so poor that having their children contribute to the family budget seems acceptable, but IMO children have decades of their life to worry about bills and expenses, and they shouldn't be burdened with anything more than stretching out their pocket money/allowance, at least until they're 18.

Why? I can tell you if I didn't get the reward of having my own money to manage and spend as I do from my part time job, I wouldn't be working. The way I see it is it teaches independence.

For me, about 75% of my money from my part time job (Cashier) goes into savings, and the other 25% is spending money for coffee out and such. The money I get from freelance computer work goes into a "Fun money" account which I use to spend on gadgets and the like. I don't see how that is in any way unreasonable. And at the end of the day it is my money, so if the roles were reversed my mentality would be "Hey, if he wants to blow all his money then let the natural consequences come at him" - better to learn this whilst still under your parents roof then when you are out of the house !

Exactly... For me, and both my parents' parents, the concept of "contributing to the family budget" is completely foreign, both my parents had part time jobs to save for their future and to have their own spending money. Like I said above its a form of independence. I quite like the idea of buying what I like without begging mum and dad for money.

Why should children be given an 'allowance' or 'pocket money', or is it a 'just reward'?

Could it be the modern tough world to live in for children JK - Grade 12, with all the 'peer pressure', the need for the latest in designer clothes, latest in Technology gadgetry, forever being cool and whatever else - or (on a scale) has it always been this way for the past 100 years?

I'm guessing, some 'Adult' children (18+) today remain 'hangers on' to their parents 'coat tails' forever, others leaving the nest, then return back free loading off their aged parents (when the >snipped< hits the fan, Mum & Dad will always be there) - all the while believe its their parent responsibility to take care of us (children) for the rest of our lives, funding, doing whatever in paying for all that the childs wants, from their education, vacations, toys & gadgets, weddings, property towards a property purchase. Its just never ending for some parents who will go into debt 'just so' their children have it all.

At the end of the day [in small or large amounts], for those that do it - is the child totally appreciative 'for all that bought affection of their parents money'? Is a child is a child, is a child till that parent dies, no matter 'what age' - or can an age be put on it?

Is it a parent responsibility to do this, to go to any extent to the point of going into debt to fund their childs lifestyle of wants?

Parenting: where does the justification lay & when or where does the responsibility end/stop?

Children: when do they become responsible, take accountability & justify their existence?

Gozit @ post #50, understanding that you are 16 years old, go to school, have a PT job for chump change, do not contribute to the household & whatever else.

Would your parents accept money from you for 'room & board' from your part time job - have you offered it?

Is all that outfits, clothing that you wear, the toys & services that you have, are these mostly paid for by your parents?

What is it for you that your parents do not pay for?

Although you are still dependent on them for food and housing. However, it is different for a part time job when still in education and that should be yours. I thought the other examples were about having left school.
An attitude to be greatly encouraged.
Again, yes, for part time jobs when still at school.

I remember when David Bowie toured 1972/73 and I needed an advance of my pocket money to be able to get a ticket but my parents wouldn't do it because they didn't approve of him.

I ended up selling my Beatles 67-70 album and had to make do with buying Bowie's Aladdin Sane LP. That showed them.

Except I was without the Beatles record. A part time job like yours would have been the solution.

It does teach some responsibility. Or, rather, it can.

We always had pocket money growing up with an increase of 3d each birthday

When the family holiday was approaching we did extra around the house, washing up, vacuuming, dusting etc to raise extra spending money and it was recorded on a chart on the back of the door under the stairs.

indeed

Lucky lad getting 'spend', even better that you did some chores for extra cash & to be able to go on "family hols" back in the early 70's

Extra chores please.

Caravan at Woolacombe, small flat at Weymouth or Exmouth in the 60s and then B&Bs in a variety of places...Newquay, Westward Ho, Southsea...The benefits of having both parents working from around 1970

oops, 'extra chores for some extra cash'

OK, I get it now & see the difference - 'both parents working' was maybe an oddity back then, more the norm these days just to pay the bills

From those fancy holidays you mentioned back in those days, your family would appear to be like those 'posh folks' that I delivered the newspapers to

Far from it. We lived on a council estate - nowt wrong in that but definitely not posh. Having said that my mum always was a bit Hyacinth Bucket and was obviously very happy to have gone up in the world when they bought their own house mid 60s.

My mum was like that too.

Yeah but at some point (if you are over the age of 18 and no longer in education) you should be offering something towards 'your keep'

You might not be begging mum and dad for money but you are still using gas/electric etc.


My children will be expected to contribute as its a way of teaching them the value of money and not everything in life is free.

Just to claify, I am taking about children/young adults no longer in education and have a full time job and living at home (although I saw too many spoilt little brats at university that got everything paid for them they also had the student loan and didn't get a job and still moaned that they had no money)

Erm.......

Just to be clear . I loved my parents & they loved me right back. They were hard working but poor. My Mum became disabled with RA.
Of course at the time it felt tough and unfair as that is how this teenager saw it & I was a right teenager for sure but looking back they did what was needed for our family. In fact it was the only choice for them. That wage was needed . There was no way they could have funded my ideals.

I don't want anyone to think my parents were dreadful to me in some way. My younger sister got to go to college for two years. By then of course things were easier.

Anyway. My first ever jobs. I had a Saturday job at Woolworths & part of that wage went into the family coffers. During school holidays I would do assorted kitchen work at a hotel where my Dad worked as a chef. That wage also went to the family coffers. I would get back some 'pocket money'.