You know you are a true Scot if...........
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>1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie,
>Sauchiehall St, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.
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>2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.
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>3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.
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>4. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.
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>5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.
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>6. Ye see people wearin shell suits with burberry accessories -
pureclass!
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>7. Ye measure distance in minutes.
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>8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him,
>in yer ain family.
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>9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.
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>10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.
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>11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.
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>12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day
>date.
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>13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the
Church.
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>14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips,
>iron-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.
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>15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.
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>16. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.
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>17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.
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>18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals .
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>19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these
>words:-
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>how's it hingin
>boggin
>cludgie
>pished
>get it up ye
>wee beasties
>erse bandit
>away an bile yer heid
>peely-wally
>humphey backit
>Ba'-heid
>Mocket
>Mingin
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>A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has
>just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with
>his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the
>display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?" "Naw," replies
>the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.
>

LOL..........You forgot Drymen!!!

Yip I understood them all

I am a true Scotsman anyway, wearing the auld skirt and going commando and all that !!!

Eddie

Prove it.

Cant HWP

I dont have any pickes to prove it or else I would post one, at the expense of getting into trouble with the mods

back

and it will be god god !!!! if ye saw me going commando !!!

Eddie

A wee quote......Aye Right!.........:-)

Oh my god..... i'm from essex... lived in east ayrshire obviously far too long. I understood it ans my kids speak it!!!!! forwarding it to my pals up here now.... Thanks for the laugh....

Glasgow Teachers are known to use the following Translations for remarks they make on pupils report cards.

''A born leader''-Runs a Protection racket

''Easygoing'' Bone Idle

''Good Progress''-you should have seen him last year

''Friendly''-never shuts up

''Helpful''-A creep

''Reliiable-Informs on his friends

''Expresses himself confidently''-Impertinent

''Enjoys physical education''-A bully

''does not accept Authority easily''-Dad in prison

''Often appears Tired''-stays up all night watching TV

''A Rather solitary child''-He smells

''Ppoular in the playground''-Sells Pornography