oceanMDX

Once during catch and release fishing, I threw the lure away and kept the fish.

kate white

being born well,its late.Iam not not only the little hobo in expat at 12/30 am:sad

Scotty1972

I drove once to an interview with BAA in Gatwick, left Sheffield early hours of the morning, arrived at Gatwick around 10. Well 5 miles from the hotel it dawned on me that I was a week early

Well there is nothing like arriving early for a job interview!

Oh and at least I got to see the m25 in all its glory

Rgds Scotty

kate white

ya daft apper.okay.daftest thing I done(yesterday) went to Ann Summer's.asked the worse qustion ever.why was a mussel next to boobs and willie's.woman had to tell this dumb witt it was not a mussel.hell it was flippin keyrings valintines for me is a meal and I love ya baby from now on

poppy1

Not something I did but something I said.
Was about 16 and watching TV in my mums bedroom,she was downstairs or in the bathroom or something.Anyway there was a story on the news about a RAF plane that had crashed.Mum re-enters the room and says "What was that?" I said "oh it was about a fighter plane that has crashed but it's ok the pilot ejaculated (instead of ejected)" mighty mighty embarassing.Still very nervous about saying 'ejected' and think very carefully beforehand.

raine66

On that note I did something similar.

When I was about 12 I came running in the front door from school and said to my Mum and sister I have a really good joke for you, ok said my Mum lets have it then.

With pure excitement I blurted out okay:

Me: What's white and flies thro the sky

Mum & Sis: Don't know hen, what's white and flies thru the sky

Me: The coming of the Lord

Well my Mum and sister where in absolute hysterics and when they finally stopped laughing my Mum asked me if I understood the joke, I told her no, but everyone else was laughing so it must be really funny right Mum, right hen she said it's the best one I've heard for a while.

hot wasabi peas

You mean like today?

Rich_007

Uh, or this week, this month ?

This week - I am mostly growing a hobo beard. A few weeks too late for deepest wintertimes. But I felt like goin down on a hobo trip so I done grown it and got hair longer'n ever now so I fully bummed out.

Rich. full on the hobo stylee

Alberta_Rose

Mine was so stupidly stupid I hardly dare admit it, as it still makes me shudder to this day, but they say confession is good for the soul so .......

Must have been about 18 yrs ago as #1 son was still strapped in his car seat after a day out......

Hubby and me drew up at the house, and getting out of the car, smelled gas. So I opened the front door and the smell of gas was VERY strong ..... here all my knowledge and judgement flies out the window.

1. I flicked the light switch on .... (yes I know you don't DO that as it can make a spark).

2. Realising I shouldn't have turned the light ON ...... I SWITCHED IT OFF AGAIN!! (DUH!! )

3. Once again in the dark, but still alive .... heart thumping, I move towards the source of the smell .... the gas fire on the wall.

4. Realising the gas had somehow been turned on, unlit, I attempted to turn it off, .......turned the knob the wrong way and LIT THE BLOODY FIRE!!

5. At this point ..... still alive but quite hysterical, I collapsed in a heap on the couch, sobbing that I had nearly killed the lot of us, not once, but three times in quick succession!

Meanwhile my bemused husband calmly went round the house opening all the windows to air the house. Luckily, being summer, some had been open anyway and it had not built sufficient concentration of gas to explode, despite my best efforts!

hcastles

One winter when i lived down south (Essex) nice snowy cold day, mucking about with the kids in the car making it slide all over the road, being a pratt basically, didnt see the lamp post and the car hit it took out the pole and made a lovely dent in the car. "Oh S**t" was my answer, the kids in hysterics, ran in the house and said to their father "guess what mums done!!!!". He didnt find it as funny!!!!!

Another.... turned into the driveway as normal.... missed the brake, drove straight into the front of the house.... Hubby swore at me lots... made me cry... sent me flowers the next day to say sorry . The front of the house had to be rebuilt, no damage to the car apart from a cracked number plate!!!!! BMW's... cant beat them!!!

Craftybanshee

I think yours is the best I've read so far, it ranks up there with Mo's

I think the most bizarre one has to be the roller/nipple episode by Souvenir

One of the daftest things I did was as a teen one Halloween. I ran down the middle of a busy duel carriageway (I grew up in South London) while wearing a white sheet and screaming woooooooooo!!!!!!! My friend and I were 'ghosts' Still, we gave some motorists a laugh and we were very lucky not to get tyre marks!

Mr Banshee and I borrowed my parents £17,000 motorhome a few years ago for a break with the kids. One night we left the awning out. That night we had a severe storm (sods law) and with an almighty crash the awning collapsed against the motorhome. Awning was totally trashed and we were out there at 2am in the storm trying to put it away The guy next door helped us out. He was a retired copper from Scotland who must've thought we were completely barmy. We drove home with the awning folded up as best we could (metal legs were knackered so we secured it all to the side of the motorhome with a length of rope) hoping my parents wouldn't notice until we worked out how to break it to them gently. Soon as our DD sees them she tells granddad that we broke their motorhome .......... He was NOT happy.

I know I shouldn't but I am PMSL just writing this We got it all sorted out on the insurance.

printer

Err joining this forum.

There was a recent incident on holiday in Spain, we were walking back from restaurant where i had been sampling a few glasses of the local wine and i saw a lovely painted tile on the outside gate of a villa with a picture of a dog and as i glanced down the pathway there was the actual dog, exactly like in the picture sat on the door step, i shouted to my wife and kids look, look and with that the dogs starts to charge down the path barking and the next thing i know i've walked straight into a lamp post and cut my ear, everyone was in hysterics as i walked back cluthching a bleeding ear and muttering under my breath.
The next day the kids took great pleasure in telling people that dad got drunk and walked into a lamp post.

LHK

LHK

When I was five or six, I was at my uncle's farm and asked for bull's milk "'cause I wanna be as strong as a bull!" All grown ups laughed histerically... It took me some years to realise the reason why they were so amused...

Another one was when I went to interview one of the big shots of McDonald's here in Brazil. Arrived about twenty minutes before the appointment and asked for a glass of water at the reception. I was told I had to go round a corner and go down an aisle, at the end of which I would find the kitchen, where I could help myself. Problem is that between the kitchen and the reception there was a big empty space which was occupied by a shallow "water mirror" (something like this: http://www.arcoweb.com.br/empresas/v...elho_agua.jpg). Well, I went stright into the water... lock, stock and barrel. Since I didn't want to return another day (the big shot told me I could do that), they gave me the only thing available to wear, which was a McDonald's uniform!!! So, I interviewed this guy as if I had just come from the kitchen, flipping some burgers! One of the most embarrassing situations I've been through...

When I came out of the interview, the driver asked what had happened to me. I told him: "Let's get the hell outta here! They brainwash you into their religion!" They were kind enough to send my suit dry cleaned in the evening.

mkmurrays

....carefully dried and styled my hair and then sprayed it with mousse instead of hairspray....
....took to ironing in a bikini on holiday, &ironed my stomach - ouch!
....had two similar pairs of shoes - one navy, one black, and wore one of each for work one day.
....as a young graduate, took a day off 'sick' to go for an interview, broke down on the M1, and my boss stopped to help me....