The new poet laureate of Geordieland?

****in' reet pet.

He's obviously a D.Phil from Oxford

Ah tellt yers that alreddy. Dee try n keep up.

Wow Newcastle scored a goal, there maybe hope for them yet.

Joey Barton is available for a free transfer this summer, they should acquire him and eleven pairs of clown shoes

We only need 9 pairs. (Ashley & Carver are already there).

How disrespectful.

One more point and Carver has saved you from relegation.

Right now his record is LLLLLLLLD.

It'll most probably end up as LLLLLLLDLL which would avoid relegation if Hull lose both of their last 2 games.

Heartfelt thanks in advance Mikey & John.

Indoor football, only everyone (even the ref) is wearing a set of VR goggles, replacing their normal vision with a top-down view of the pitch.

1934, 1961, 1978, 1989, 2009 ....

What's the next number in the series?

You lot will alright. Hull have ManU away while you host the spammers.

West Brom v Chelsea: Premier League – as it happened | Football | The Guardian

Wanna bet?

A quick Google search tells me:

Manchester United have lost 33.3% of their away games.

Hull have won 27.78% of their home games.

If we combine those stats using an inverse of the sum of the reciprocals, we get 15.2%. If we now transpose this number into a numerological coefficient and enumeration pairing, we can determine that a goal will be scored in the fifteenth minute by a player wearing a shirt that can be identified by the number "2".

I bet you didn't see that coming.

I wish the answer were 42: but it's actually 2015.

Which might be a good thing because then they'd have a chance or winning more than 9 matches next year (or equally likely, doing a Blackpool).