Shard

Did the brother pay for your wedding ?

scrubbedexpat091

No. Not our wedding his.


And Oink, I think my wife is more hurt that he got a house with land that could sell for nearly 1 million as is and she is treated like a 2nd class citizen.

Oink

I'd be naffed off as well.

JonboyE

I think the general rule is that if you have to ask your parents if they have a favourite child, it isn't you.

Dorothy

You said the brother is married to a lawyer. Perhaps they earn enough money to buy the place. Does she know that he "got" it or is she speculating?

I could be jealous that my sister lives in a $2 million house and drives a brand new Lexus,.but I'm not. She and her husband work very hard and invest their earnings well. I rent a house in a middle class suburb and earn a middle class wage. It's about what I do to make my life good that matters.

bats

You can chose your friends but not your relatives.

Actually you can. You can move away, or ignore them, or best of all just be amused by their antics and don't react they way they expect you to.

not2old

NO, never ever in a million years, yet - to qualify that, my in-laws had three children, with two remaining alive, my FIL has totally & completely disowned the eldest one [zero communication], leaving my wife the youngest who gets the pot of gold when he dies.

FIL, says 'when he pops his clogs, to not to inform 'HER' my wifes sister'.

Does that make my wife the favourite? ... absolutely not IMO, its just the wifes sibling (elder sister) gets nowt at the end of the day.

Is that favouritism?


Agree with Bats

OP, posted by others, IMO don't worry about what your wifes family does or says, their emotions, what the other siblings do in life. Get on with it without them - do you really need their love, affection or attention, right down to the dramas?

scrubbedexpat091

His wife has only been working for 9 months or so. She is very new in the law field and very junior.

She knows for a fact the house was transffered to her brother in May 2015. She just doesnt know why, and neither her mom nor brother have said. She emailed him last night and he just replied how are you and didnt answer any questions she asked.

Her moms house isnt nice, its worn down, and leaky. But its on a bit over 1 acre and last parcel in that neighborhod that hasnt been subdivided.

Its the land and area that is worth money, not the house itself. The house is a tear down.

moneypenny20

I'd honestly let it go. You don't know the full details and likely never will and it is or was your Mother in law's property to do with as she wishes. I understand you wife is hurt and confused but she needs to come to terms that it's done and move on.

scrubbedexpat091

I certainly dont need them or their validation but my wife seems to want to be part of the family, and just feels excluded and used. That probably is part of why its hurt her so much.

Dorothy

So it was transferred to her brother a year ago. What does that have to do with your wife? If your mother in law wanted to sell/give/whatever her house that's up to her.

scrubbedexpat091

I agree with you and I have suggested to her to try and move on and forget about it all.

Suppose its easier for me to say then someone to do, but its the best solution I can suggest to her.

Dorothy

Excluded because her mother and brother didn't inform her of a private transaction? It's none of her business frankly if her mother dispises if her property.

If I decided to sell everything to my daughter (or anyone else for that matter) it would be none of my children's business. I am an adult and can do whatever I want to with my possessions. Just like your mother in law.

scrubbedexpat091

She feels hurt more then anything. Especially as her mom had said for years everything would be split evenly between them.

A lot of lies have come to the surface.

Cant say I wouldnt feel hurt if my parents chose one sibling over another.

Its not easy for my wife to see her brother get all this help and be treated so differently.

It really hurts her.

Its not the money that is bothering her. Its the way she has been treated and the instability she has had in her life vs the stable life and supports he gets.

Its really odd family.

scrubbedexpat091

I understand but its very hurtful to the other chold when she sees her brother have this nice life and house and free college and all sorts of support when her brother is never there for the mom.

The brother isnt the one that cared for the mom for a year when she was recoverijg from a brainn bleed that nearly killed her supporting herself and the mom on 800 a month.

So my wife feels hurt, that would be natural to a lot of people I would imagine.